Dumbest thing ever said to you on a ski mtn

so I was in the lift line alone, and there was a pretty good looking girl, her little brother, and her mom, and it is a 2 man lift, so I get by them and yell out single? of course trying to ride up with the girl, and her mom goes "ill go up with you" and the girl is really embarrassed, so I have to mess with the mom on the way up. so the mom starts the usual talk and then she goes my daughter loves the park here, and I say oh me to, I did a backfip yesterday, And Im working on doing a backwards (she wouldnt have known what switch meant) double front flip today. (none of the jumps are nearly big enough for a front flip, and definiely not a switch double front flip) The mom goes oh, my daughter loves the rails.
 
On a quad chair with my girlfriend and an old man this season, and I am wearing my Spy Soldier Bricks goggles ( Pink Floyd, by the way) He was sitting on my left and saw the crossed hammer patch on my goggle strap and asked if I was a carpenter... since I had no idea the guy was staring at my goggle strap, I was so confused at the randomness of the question, and when I finally told him that it was a pink floyd logo he just smiled, shut his mouth and turned his head to the left to inspect the scenery.
 
this guy on skiblades told me he had a list of all the trails on loon mtn and he was trying to ski all of them switch. and yes he was wearing a loon hat the one with the bird on it
 
I didn't SAY this, but let it slide.

I was trying to get something out of a locker or under a table or something (don't remember exactly because it isn't the important part) and I pulled so hard my hand slipped off of it and the momentum from pulling so hard (and me losing balance) made my hand fly back and smack some girl's ass, who was leaning over to put her boots on. She had spandex on and it made a loud noise.
 
word, the snowboarders at my club suck majorly large dick. And the club comepletely agreees with them. Freeskiing = counter culture
 
I dont know if someones said this one yet but it happened to me I had the rossignol scratch fs wrs this year and at least 80 people asked me on the chair lift if someone had lit my skis on fire. I proceeded to stare at them for the rest of the chair ride and right as they got off i would smack them in the mouth and scream pwned
 
gayper on lift- check out these trick skis (ski blades) i got (rented)

me- what's the trick?(playing dumb) OOHOOH! I GET IT! YOU THINK YOUR SKIING, BUT YOUR NOT!

kid proceeds to attempt an explanation on ski blades being the only skis that go on the 'metal things and air launchers'
 
my mom used to call bmx bikes "trick bikes"... sigh

"bmx bikes? is that what they're called, those trick bikes?" she doesn't know much about the extreme sports
 
Stupidest things I've ever had sai to me probably have to be one time when I was skiing with my buddies and we were just hitting this little side lip we made quickly. I hit it and for some fucked up reason some retard ski instructor decides to take his class right in front of it, I try and swerve but hit it anyway and 1 over the last kid. Now this instructor is staring dumbfounded @ me and starts yelling shit about "do you know what would have happened if you'd hit him?!" i just responded calmly with "...probly woulda killed him or some shit." THe guys face was priceless but got so much better when the kid I gapped chips in with "Hey Steve, that looked like fun. Can I try it?
 
Our school painted some of our park's rails, and my art teacher(who even skis!) didnt know what to call them for our school's newspaper so they called them trick boxes.

what retards
 
I was night skiing at Pats Peak one night mid-week and these two kids (5-6 years old) getting on the chairlift in front of me. One of the kids drops his pole so i reach down and get it for him so i can give it to him at the top. When i get to the top and give it to him he says "thanks". Then they both start beating me with there poles! They where shanking me and shit so i was like "You little bastards get off me." Then the kid calls me a "fart head" and skis away. hahaha
 
Me and my friends were staying at one of the lodge complexes that are like 30 seconds away from Okemo and we were getting the skis in the car and I have last years PE's . My friend Brianna comes over and stares at my skis. Then she looks at me with a very confused look and is like "Are those Nazis on your skis?!"
 
imbicile - what's the difference between pointed tips and round tips?

me - one is pointed and one is round.

Usually, I just mess with people on the way up. I typically take the singles line regardless if I'm skiing alone or with friends, to get up faster, so one thing I like to do is mention that it's my first time skiing and I just rented these skis and the guy in the shop told me that they were beginner skis. If anyone onboard happens to know anything at all about skiing, they tell me that I am wearing expert skis. I proceed to freak out and ask if I will break my leg and ask if this lift goes all the way to the top.

I also just tell outrageous lies about myself.
 
Old guy from Ontario: Wow, are some of those them super fat for skiing deep snow?

Me:Uhh, no. (hard to reply)

I've got last years public enemies 174, wtf was he thinking.

However, He was riding probs 158 carving skis and then he said something is still laugh about:

Old guy: You won't believe what i just rode! Wow, we had untracked courduroy the whole way down! Amazing!

I seriously almost laughed in his face. (there was a good foot of freshies on almost every fun that day)
 
Bahahaha,I've been skiing there before they even allowed skiers in the park... or even had a park. Not once has a kid beaten me with their poles. Man that place has gone downhill... hahaha.
 
Not somthing said to me but:

I was at loon in new hampshire in mid march for the weekend. And the weekend I was there loon was hosting the NBS- now for all of you who dont no what that is it, its the National Brotherhood Society- it is a bunch of black ppl that get together from all over the country and go skiing. I have never seen so many black ppl on the hill ever. I saw at least 30 to 50 a day for 4 days in a row. I was like wtf?!?!?!
 
thats not that funny. what is funny is riding up with a patroller on that day and having his radio go off all of a sudden with someone announcing in a souther drawl "lots of shadows on the hill today"
 
im sure you guys know the "those your skis?... both of them?" quote. well that fucking happened to me haha i just laughed in the guys face and skied away
 
made my way down to solar on blackcomb on a spring-ish day. No big deal right?

wrong, if you're douchebag tourist "5 days a year" snowboarder dude.

stupid fucking liftline is huge, on account of idiots like this guy, so I stop and wait around for everyone to regroup, when, out of nowhere, douchebag snowboarder opens his mouth and..."so, like, you really need to saw off the back of your skis or something. I mean, I know it's not your fault, and like, yeah, all that, but they spray everyone and it hit me in the face and it really hurt. I know they came that way, but uh, yeah, I mean, dude, you gotta do something about that, ya know?"

No fucking shit. Too stunned to stay anything, I fell down and started rolling around on snow while laughing uncontrollably.
 
We were on the lift and I was talking about how they didn't have a park at Alta that year, but it was okay because I didn't really feel like doing much now. My mom responds by saying "well snowboarders use it more and they're not allowed here..." my comment: WHAT! SO YOU NEED BOARDERS TO HAVE A PARK! All this after I've had twin tips for years and I'm always talking about parks and freeski etc. I got so annoyed. She's not even a gaper, she skis all the time.
 
i was skiing switch down a groomer at keystone ripping huge turns and this dumb guy in his 40s skis up next to me and starts lecturing me on how I shouldn't ski backward, cant turn, and stuff like that. so I get some speed up and pull in front where he can clearly see me and carve perfect race style turns the rest of the way down. PS I ride Fujatives he was on fisher slalom skis. He got owned by me!!!
 
One time me and some of my friends were sitting at the side of a catwalk waiting for a kid, when this lady comes down in a huge snowplow and texas tuck and just screams at us "GET THE FUCK OFF THE CATWALK!!!!"
 
ive been called a gaper haha. i crashed right on the lip of the jump, it was the most retarded thing ive ever done in my life. Dont get me rong though that was a freak accident i can ski good and ride crazy good.
 
haha ive done that to like went to speed check the new jump on our airsite and just caught my edge and flew into the lip...embarrassing..
 
my favorite is when i get asked what do "double tiped skis" or "fliped up in the back skis" do

O just when some gapers ask me how the park is and i tell em its real hard lots of big stuff

then they say thats ok we just like to go off the sides of the jumps
 
ok so my brother and i were skiing one day (skipped school) and they're were all these little 5th and 6th graders who sucked and talked trash really bad, and my bro has invaders with the pink bottoms and two big burton stickers on them we got so many "what I thought burton was a snowboard" really funny..
 
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