Dumbest thing ever said to you on a ski mtn

Not really dumb, but funny as hell. We were on the Gondola at Killington and a man with a very strong Boston accent started telling stories to us. He used to visit NJ a lot and told us about his trips to see Bruce Springsteen at a local club that's still there today, except he wasn't famous back then. It was snowing a lot and he kept on saying, "Snowin Like a Bastad out there!" The next Snow Search was going on and he was like, "we got hundreds of these lil bastads runnin around." He was impressed with their tricks though. He told us we should become ski bums and get some nice pussy. His wife was with him and just laughed. I'm pretty sure he was a good skier, so not really a gaper story. He was a pretty cool guy, entertaining ride.
 
well how old was this guy? if he's old enough then i don't blame him, i'm not going to keep up with what shit kids are up to when i turn a certain age.
 
First lets just say I have the armada ar6's in size 176.sooo I was riding up the quad at Okemo, and the guy next to me is like. "who is that nigger on your ski boy" luckly, we were just about to get to the top and i just got off the lift without saying anything.
 
so i work in the gift shop at timberline lodge and some teen tour girl asked me this summer "are we really on mt.hood,i mean is this really mt.hood???". i thought it was pretty fucking obvious, big mountian, mt.hood postcards everywhere.
 
i try my hardest to say the dumbest shit ever.

"holy hell, those snowboarder kids took off towards the powder!!! i bet its a whole lot like surfing on clouds for those guys!!!!"

"i cant wait until they find a way to refrigerate the snow during the summer so we can ski all year!!!"

"holy crap we made it all the way down those blue diamonds and we went FAST!!!!"

all of these in a super loud and grating nerd-like voice while in full snow plow form.
 
mine beats all, i work at a ski hill (MT, Bradford holla) but any way standing at the base with the hil in plain view a lady walks up to me and says "do you guys have any snow"
 
*Taking off boots, Old guy approaches me*

Old Guy in Lodge: "Wow, Nice Boots! How much did they cost?"

Me in Lodge: "Ummmm, I got them for $350 on sale from $500."

Old Guy in Lodge: "Wow those cost a lot."

Me in Lodge: "Yeah, boots are expensive."

Old Guy in Lodge: "So you snowboard right?"

Me in Lodge: "No... I ski."

*slowly walking away and back outside to leave*
 
i was waiting to hit a rail and a train of snowboarders went up and hit it and this skier that was about 10 comes up to me and said, "what the hells wrong with those boarders? they shouldnt be aloud to hit rails". it just kinda annoyed me how ignorant some of these little skiers are. snowboarders pretty much were the ones that started skiers to do rails anyways.oh and a snowboarder came up to me and was like wow look at how big those snow cookies are!i was like wtf? he was pointing to chunks of snow and for some reason called them snow cookies
 
wasnt on the mtn, it was in the chalet.

I went up to north bay to ride with a friend of mine(123000) for the day. So we are in the chalet, eating, some some like russian, scandanavian, ro whatever, person comes up to our table. She asks, "Was it one of you with the visor helmet?" Everyone sort of looks at me, and I said "Yeah, thats me." She comes over, and takes my G10MX from my hands, and walks away to show all of her middle aged friends. She asks me if it is for biking or skiing. I go to grab it back, and she walks away again. Anyways, that wonam was a fucking retard for touching my helmet.
 
I was working a coffee stand at brighton in michigan and this old guy comes up and says "Ill have a coffee."

I said "how would you like it?"

he said "Tall, black, and strong.....like my women"

It was pretty funny.
 
i started to ski switch and some old german skis by me and says: "CAN YOU SNOWPLOW BACKWARDS??" dont know why i would need to but he asked me and i jsut said yes
 
i like these 'double sided skis', you can go BACKWARDS!

-some old guy on the chair lift with old school Line 1260's (yellow with ninjas)
 
i was on a vacation in salt lake, and we were skiing at snowbird, and it was a crazy white out, we couldn't see 5 feet infront of us and it was fresh powder. We had never been there before so we didnt know where we were going. As we were going down the mountain my friend was sprying up snow and just having a good time, and this dumb old bitch came buy and yell stop messing around its already a white out, and you could hardly tell that he was sprying snow, she was fucking stupid
 
this happened to michelle at sunday river. she was telling me about it. she said that some guy and his kid were on the lift, and said something about shaun white going 16 feet out of the halfpipe on a snowboard. she tried to back up this with dumont going 22, but he was like, no its dangerous and for snowboarders only. i hate idiot fucking people. noone says anything to me stupid except for why i have a giant nine on my shirt.
 
this wasnt on the mountain but when i got my new twin tips, the shop was pretty backed up but i was determined to get the bindigs on them because i didnt want to miss out skiing that weekend. so my mom tells the guys she'll give them a $20 tip if they can do it right now. the guy comes out and we thanked him and he goes " oh no problem, anything for tips" and my mom goes " good! cos shes got two!"

then when me and my friends were laughing at her, she totally didn't understand why.
 
Not as stupid as hilarious. From a real oldschool looking dude:

"You guys need to try skiing on acid. I used to do that shit when I was your age. One time it was so good I just kept hiking the hill after it closed until my friends found me and made me stop."
 
one time a guy said "Shut the hell up douchehead or i'll grind ur goddamn head inta da goddamn snow
 
a 40 year old guy called me a butt head ona chairlift at steamboat cuz he thought i cuz the line but i was a single so when i got off i was like" hey nice riding off with you.....NOT!!" and i skied away but i couldnt take him seriously cuz he had those bugz googles that are really narrow. it was funny
 
(hunched over black man slowly pushing himself to the lift over the flats with his poles muttering) "this is what i do nigga, this is what i do, yeah, this is what i do"
 
some guy told me that he wished to have a paintball gun and shoot people from the lift. i laughed at hime and he got pissed. he was some hick
 
this was in a ski shop. i was holding a pair of skis with no bindings just checking them out. some guy comes up and asks, "what kind of snowboard is that?" needless to say i was speechless.
 
i was on the gondola n it rides right next to the park at loon, he asks ' What is the biggest jump in the park?' i then pointed at the rail... haha his face was EPIC
 
this is probably the weirdest thing that has even happened to me, but one time, i was going up to the line to wait for the chair and somehow i slipped and fell like sideways and got caught under the chair. i was laughing so hard and my friends just laughed at me too. the lifty must have thought i was absolutely nuts, but it was probably the most embarassing/greatest thing thats ever happened to me.
 
i went up to this hot chick when i was blazed and packing a huge bomb and said "ya i have a huge dick, if i were you, i'd do me" and then i tried to ski away but fell over
 
a few years ago my friend put camo tape on the front half of his ski (back when camo was cool and all)... while riding up the chair some punter asks my friend "so did you glue two skis together, thats awesome!" My friend answered: "Yeah man, its real easy.. just put some glue on two half skis, stick em together and put them in a microwave for an hour."

needless to say the guy was amazed.
 
not really a quote, more of a story.

my friend was recording so i start coming into this up-flat box, and out of no where this little gaper girl comes flying down and she was going to hit the jump onto the box and go off to the side, and we were like riding parallel, so i give her a little push with my shoulder and she went off the trail into the woods, fell and started crying. landing a disaster 450 never felt so good.
 
yah the guy was an idiot, and once i tried to nicely tell him that skiers boost even bigger he like flipped out on me. he was like "NO! HALF PIPES ARE FOR SNOWBOARDERS ONLY!"

i was like uhh okay..

i stopped talking after that

 
once I was talking about the park with this skiing lady who was like my mom's age or so, and she asked "do you do any of those rails?" and I was snowboarding so I said no, I don't like rails and then she pointed to the funbox and was like "I would maybe try that box, not the rails, I would just try the box" and I was like uhh, I don't think it's that easy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top