Dumbest thing a shop guy has ever said to you....

this was from a clinic. everything said was for real, although the exact wording is a little off (it happened last fall).

marker guy: "a study from the 1970's showed that bindings will always release after the boot has moved a centimeter in either direction within the toe piece, thats why the markers release more energy after a centimeter"

*sigh*

marker guy: "most park skiers dont seem to like markers because they relase so consistently and when they're supposed to"

 
just remembered another one...

Me: what bindings should i get?

Him: these are pretty nice (shows me the rossi saphir bindings)

Me: aren't these womens bindings?

Him: why do you say that?

Me: well over there there are rossi saphir skis that say they are women's skis

Him: Well just because they are matching to womens skis doesn't mean they are womens bindings

Me:? I leave

 
i go to shops too often, just the ones at the mountain. but one time i tried on a helmet with a pair of goggles to see if i had a goggle gap. I tried A frames (the must have at the time) and hten a pair of spys. the spys fit perfect and the A frames didn't at all and looked terrible. the guy was trying to convice me to get the A frames cause cost more. i ended up just leaving and got the same spy's somewhere else.
 
My step bro likes to fuck around with shop people. There's one shop around here and they know jack shit about skiing except for a select few who actually ski. I wish I could remember some of the stories.
 
i've had that too. good thing i didn't buy them.

then the other day...

dude: can i help you with sumthin?

me: (looking at the px 12's) do you have the look px 12 bindings?

dude: (giving me the dumbest look ever) ummmmmmm...i have no idea. what are they?

me: ski bindings?

dude: oh yea! lemmi check.

i see him walk 5 feet and i see like 10 boxes of them right in the doorway. all the boxes are exactly the same and he reads them all.

dude: i got them.

me: o rly? are you sure?

dude: yea?

me: ya you got it! boarder, right?

dude: fuck ya! i rip!

me: i'm sure you do.

dude: do you race?

me: (giving him the most crooked look ever) no. twin tips.

dude: that's not skiing.

me: ok? ...how much?

dude: 160.49.

lady next to me: you know it's the middle of summer right?

me: yea. but the snow is only like 2 months away.

lady: no it's not.

me: whatever. why are you here then?

lady: i'm buying these snow boots.

they are moon boots. they say moon boots on them.

me: right on. have fun in aspen.

lady: how did you know?

me: 6th sense.

i leave and never come back.

 
Ive had plenty of fun fucking with shop guys. Some buddies of mine used to work for Sports Authority (after a sick shop closed that they worked at). and there was a dude that worked there that they would always make fun of, so they told me to give him shit when I went in. So I went in acting all interested and he was trying to sell me a pair of the sweet new twin tip design k2 enemys (red and black ones). This was last winter.
 
ahahaha i laughed so hard when i read that and i dont even know why. i just pictured the shop guy with like the most serious look on his face like commanding you to wear that kind of sock.damn im way too tired for ns right now
 
(taking trouble makers back after busting out the edges after having them for 3 months)

shop guy: Well we can send them back but i really doubt their gonna send you another pair because obviously the damages are from rails and your not supposed to even get close to rails on trouble makers.
 
Me-I would like these mounted true centre

Him-So you mean the balancing point?

Me-No, true centre, as in the middle of the ski.

Him-K, no problem

(come back and they are mounted backwards and -4 of centre)

on another not, I know a guy who works at my sportchek named Stu. Hes about 30, and knows all about armada, line, surface and 4frnt. Hes really cool, and he's the only guy I trust with my skis.
 
Moron tried to sell me these Marker bindings with some sort of "piston dampening technology" that basically took all the pop out of the ski, right after I had broken some Marker bindings earlier that day.
 
All I know is if you're ever in SLC DO NOT buy anything from Sports Den. those people are dicks, and always look at you like you're stealing.
 
me:what binding do you reccemond

shop guy:dont fall for the hype all ski bindings are the exact same besides what they look like
 
thats actually true the aft pressure helps initiate turns better, but thats not their purpose, guess he kne a little more than you did though
 
ok didnt read most of the above posts, but it's probably been said.

shop guy - "any specifics when mounting these?"

me - "yah, core centre. theres a little sign so you know where it is"

shop guy - "uhh i dunno man, you wont be able to ski normaly when thier centred, try like 3cm back from core"

me - "I've had like 4 other pairs centred, it's ok"

shop guy - "i'm just saying, it gonna be weird and hard to ski"

me - "i've been skiing for like 9 years, dont worry i can handle it. centre 'em up"

shop guy - *gets manager* this guy wants his skis centred, but i dunno.

manager - "you know it'l be weird to ski with them centred"

me - "yah, its really no problem skiing centre mounted skis"

manager "allright, aslong as you're cool with it. mount them core centre *tapes on a little note that says core centre*"

i honestly go through this every year, some kid who thinks i cant handle my shit trying to tell me what to do. tell me i'm not the only one this has happened to.
 
whats so bad about that? steeles a awesome guy and same with matt (i've met them both) but i mean salomon and aramada have guys like tanner hall and sammy carlson and simon dumont i mean.. 4frnts team isn't that strong compared to that
 
haha thats happened to me too. its always some technical sock that "wicks away sweat" and they look at you like your retarded for not wearing $50 socks, and for not wearing some gay ass thermo shirt (which is usually a rip-off too), then they proceed to attempt to sell you the shit their pushing. and i'm always like "yah thanks, but my t-shirt/hoodie combo, and my nike socks do me just fine."
 
So I had my skis mounted at one shop, 4cm forward of recomended. But I changed boot sizes and needed to get the bindings adjusted. So I take them to a different shop to get them adjusted. I pick them up and the conversation goes like this:

salesman: here you go

me: cool, thanks

salesman: you know those are mounted really far forward

me: yea that's how I want them, it's really not that much

salesman: we could remount those for you

me: no, that's ok

salesman: you should bring those back so we can remount them

me: i ski park thats how i want them, thanks

And then I leave
 
i'd flip a fucking shit if someone mounted my bindings totally wrong. i would actually talk to the manager and get some shit out of it
 
Yea I got a brand new pair of skis when they fucked up my shit. The gay thing was I had to actually like bust my ass trying to negotiate with the guy, as if I didn't deserve a new pair? It was bullshit. I even had to call my dad and have him come talk to the guy cause the dude was being a bastard, and wanted me to pay for the mounts and everything, fuck that.
 
Story 1)

Me: Hey I want these bindings mounted true center (I handed him some ar5' and told him they were for park use only)

Shop guy: You know that would be mad awkward to ride dont you??

Me: I left...

Story 2) I went to get my new skis mounted and told them to mount them true center, and showed him that true center was not on the recommended line, but the actual center of the ski. I told them to put look px12's on them. Then when I come back the day after they had mounted them on the "recommended" center, with some little boys bindings with maximum DIN at 7 because they had no px12's left...
 
as if they would put diffrent bindings on, like u would have to be a complete moron to put a diffrent binding then what the customer orderd on.
 
i go into the shop pick up my ar5s that just came in hand my bindings and tell the dude to mount at center, draw a line on the ski where i want the binding and leave. i coma back 2 days later the ski is mounted at the regular spot and there is a line that i drew on the ski as well as a "mount @ core center" note on the mount slip. at first the manager attempts to tell me i didnt specify where to mount. i bitch man out. i end up with free brand new skis
 
me: hey im looking for look px 12 bindings, got any?

shop guy: what do you ski?

me: freeski.

shop guy: oh you're talking about freestyle!

me: yeah whatever.

shop guy: moguls?

me: no just whatever i feel like skiing, rails, jumps, backcountry...

shop guy: oh well i recommend these marker binding, they're really bombproof

me: yeah and they weight more than a hippo.

shop guy: no man they're really light! every pro rides them!

me: like....?

shop guy: well... seth pistol rides them.

me:...

shop guy: you dont know him?

me:...its a ski...

shop guy: yeah he has a pro model!

me: whatever... do you have those looks or not?

shop guy: you really should get these marke...

i just left. felt like punching him in the face.
 
stopped by the sniagrab the other day to see what wasn't on sale.. just to kill some time..

guy tells me how i should really buy these marker bindings with a 12 din just because there 12 din... i walk away, say nothing..

as i am exiting, my friends and me see this kid walk out of the store with his mom holding some goggles and the volkl kaya skis in his hand... i dont think he had a sister.

(for those of you who dont know, the kaya's are a chick ski)
 
(phone)(word for word)

guy: park skiiis, let me see what we have. ok we got the sprogen stang 170s by line, the armuduh avr in 183, and 2 pairs left of the Larose trouble dynastar in 160 and 170

me: ok do you have any skis that actually exist

guy: im looking at these right now, dick.

(hangs up hard)

I tried to warranty a pair of line chronics with the sidewall blown off and all the edge underfoot missing, and i had the whole shop believing i took a really hard turn on cordouroy and they all just exploded off. sorry jeff.
 
And you're getting someone that knows 1/10 what the person in a good shop knows. I'd never trust anyone from a store like Dick's to touch my skis let alone mount them.
 
I go into the shop after having left them to bend FKS bindings out to fit. One of the bindings was already bent straight out, and they mounted that just fine, but didn't bend the brake before hand. Then the guy tried to convince me that all the pros ride with the brakes straight out. Let's just say I was not convinced.
 
i think my brother overheard some say this

kid"dont arnt those skis a bit floppy"

guy"no no no you see when you are mounted you only flex the tail"

he reaches down and tries to flex the tail

guy"see they are really stiff"

kid"oh ok"
 
Well, that one is actually pretty accurate.... (unless it was a ski that was designed for a true center mount).

 
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