Dry humping illegal in utah...

K

Keenbo

Member
From the utefans.net message board...

This just in...Utah Legislature unanimously passes bill to criminalize dry humping...

by PumpinGas4Lenny-Ute

2007-01-16 12:35:06

In a bold move republican legislators have brazenly pushed their bill through that will ban dry humping in colleges throughout the state.

Representive Buttars said, "this kind of behavior has gone on long enough with our young people." He further stated, "It is a mortal sin to gratify yourself this way."

When told about the new law BYU coeds overwelmingly showed their disdain. Randy, a senior at the Y said, "It's not a sin to dry hump on a Saturday night."

Cindy a freshman at BYU complained saying, "it's not like we are going all the way or anything, we are just having some sweet action."

Reno Mahe a graduate, and NFL player said, "dry humping kept me safe while I was in school, it was when I went further that got me in big time trouble."

Lawmakers feel that if they can eliminate dry humping from the colleges and universities, they can reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies at BYU.

Students in violation of this law will have ten hours of community service, and have to watch a state approved video on dry humping and the dangers that become of it.
 
Lawmakers feel that if they can eliminate dry humping from the colleges and universities, they can reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies at BYU.

...hmmm it seems to me that dry humping can't get a chick pregnant...

but seriously, fuck the mormans

 
Mormons are so fucking dumb...

So some hick in bumfuck newyork thinks he talked to jesus, o my god we need to start a religion over this!
 
word, 2 gf's would be a pain in the ass to. if you get sick of your gf, just dump her and move on to annother one? why have 2
 
alchohol over 8% are you serious?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

that must suck, im all about the hard stuff
 
8% and 8 proof are different first of all. Secondly, there are "private clubs" all over utah where you can drink.
 
oh, and the 3.2% beer is sold in gas stations, grocery stores and the like. you can still buy alcohol at any state operated liquor store, or go to a bar. It's just that you can't buy over 3.2 at a gas station like you can in other states
 
I am calling bullshit on that one. Come on. Since when was a message board on a fan website a reliable source for news? Just think of half the shit that gets put up on ns. Second of all, you cant create a law against something like that. And thirdly, if you have heard nothing but rumors about the LDS church, its probably a good idea not to believe them before you hear it from a credible source.
 
fuck dude you beat my by one. i was reading thru just praying that no one said that. have any of you ever read a real news report, its not at all like that. they dont publish shit like those people said. im calling obvious bullshit, or at least seconding this guys motion
 
yeah i'd love to see this video and learn about the "dangers" of dry humping.

isn't dry humping suppose to be like a form of abstience? to keep you from having sex? what fools.
 
Oh and by the way everyone, Rep. Butters is the chairman of the House Natural Resources, Agriculture, & Environmental Standing Committee, nothing even closely related to schools, let alone private universities.
 
well maybe you can get a girl pregnant if somehow you busted in your boxers/underwear/whatever and then smear it over her vagina.... that could work....
 
That was a blog written by a student. Can you actually see old, fat legislators saying "dry humping?" This is a satirical joke that no one has picked up on. Correct me if wrong but I don't think that I am.
 
Ahh...I was thinking that anything over 8% was banned or some shit, that would suck ass. But yeah, mormons are all a huge bunch of fucktards.
 
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