drunken quotes

i want to go to harvard law school to study....GLUE! glue is compose of paint thiner adn gays ... but with out gays! hey hey guys i want some glue! hahah wat a awsome night that was !

PEACE-LOVE-UNITY
 
waitress:what yould you guys like this morning?

Phill:foods for sucks, alchahol's for winners! give me a martini straight up.

waitress:but its only 7AM

Shooter:I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!

Happy:You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
 
'guys, We gota win this thing. I can't see the cups, but I can feel the table and I know the cups are there. Here goes bitches' - throws the ping pong ball, misses the table, hits somebody screams and falls over.

open up, we're coming inside. What's it feel like to know you're gonna die?
 
'dude dont pee all over my face'

-me

and he didnt listen as i found out about a week later

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HIGH NORTH SESSION 2 BITCH
 
please make the world a better place dont mess with your friends when theyre passed out

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HIGH NORTH SESSION 2 BITCH
 
'i love bushes' -my fat friend me and all my friends like to call 'mother'

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better to wrap yourself in the constitution and burn the flag, than wrap yourself in the flag and burn the constitution

witness/activist in the great spamming of 2004
 
haha, my friend was trashed and i was giving him shots of water cause he didnt know and it was hilarios so then i gave him the empty shot glass and he looked in it at said 'smells like water' and the tried to drink it. I fell down LAUGHING!!!

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eh voila
 
my other friend got peed on by like 4 people and they shaved his eyebrow and they drew shit all over him

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HIGH NORTH SESSION 2 BITCH
 
last weekend one of my dumbass friends decides to pour rubbing alchohol in my already wasted friends drink, he went into acoma and had to get his stomach pumped

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better to wrap yourself in the constitution and burn the flag, than wrap yourself in the flag and burn the constitution

witness/activist in the great spamming of 2004
 
now that is indeed a true dumbass. I was at one of my best friends house and she was wasted and she kept asking me who I was and why I was at her house. everyone was telling her to stop and telling her who i was, she didn't get it

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I like to ski
 
'fuck, you no wat fuck, fuck, fuck , you no wat fuck you if ur gonna be a little bitch and not answer ur phone then fuck, fuck, uhh fuck'

and

'dude stop it, serious stop it, stop it!'

and

'wheres mikey...hes passed gone out passed'

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'...you bend over and breathe in deep breaths for about 90 seconds once you feel light headed u come up really fast and another person squezzes there hands on your jugular vein and the other side of your neck...its awesome DO IT' -NBCskier

'or, just bend over for 30 seconds, stand up real quick, and throw yourself off a fucking cliff, for being such an idiot!'-ElGato

Vote For Pot
 
'It was like a free fall, I fell but it was free.'

-My friend after he fell off the roof of the house.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
 
on spring break last year, my friend was riding around in a golf cart back to his room at like 10:30 (it was our first day there so we were shitfaced all day). there's families walking around and stuff, and he keeps yelling, 'SUCK my COCK, feels good when ya DO.'

 
my personal favorite was when my bro got drunk and tried to play pool with my friends and i....we kept telling him he was hitting the wrong balls in.

'Pool isnt fun unless you know which balls you gotta score in the hole.'

I used to do crack. I still do, but i used to too.
 
'you're faking me out with this rear window!' i dont know, youd have to have been there....

*Laura*

my mom has like 15 prada bags........ ATLANTASKI

i've seen alotta real good bitches go down
 
I remember one time i said something aout buying drugs and i really ended up saying drying bugs

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Grandmaster CT Skiers

'i am smarter than the average indivitual'-D-Loc AKA 'I'm the coolest'
 
im not drunk im just exhausted cause ive been up all nite drinkin.

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Josh Barilar

Sportin' the bath robe steeze.

since 1984

NO BRIAN, its I before E except after C, an when sounding like a in a neighbor in weigh and on weekends and holidays and all through out may and you'll always be wrong no MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!

You all take luck now! You take luck and care
 
There was a....larger...girl in our hallway laying on the floor talking on her phone completely wasted...and i was across the hall talking to some friends (all of this after some shots) and my roommate came busting in...'THERES A BEACHED WHALE IN THE HALLWAY' and he kept saying it because i wouldn't come look at her...and our RA came down from the other end of the hallway because he could hear my roommate yelling about the beached whale.....

 
i've just cut my nob off with a breadknife!

if i had a poodle i'd calll it geoffery and kick the living shit out of it.

No Sir Mr. 2na, I can't burn the blunt

I remember the last time and have a good time
 
me: fuck you guys crawling is full of clarity!

me: i'm not even buzzing i can walk in 3! straight lines (i stumble across the room three times, become dizzy towards the end and just keep walking into the closet door, which then collapses to pieces)

stevie: you guys i'm pretty sure this heater wont burn my nutsack

some kid: hey man dont be a music nazi i'll call the five O's! (random kid here's 5-0 and flees the scene)

danny: WATCH KEV, I CAN DO THROW DOWNS. THROW DOWNS???

kevin: chin ups?

danny: drop backs?

kevin: show me I'll remember

(danny tries some football drill and chips a tooth)

sky: so WHERE is it cool for me to smoke doobies with a foreign dude?

ned: lauren!!! i can show you up!!! (pours his natty ice in a shotglass filled with buts and ashes and starts taking shots of beer)

-Lauren

I dropped out of high school to ski.
 
me and my friend were seshioning his van and i was devasteditly baked and i look at him and point to the school and say 'that over there isnt really high school, this is high school'

and in the lunchroom someone put in a 5 dolar bill in a machine and when the quarters just kept droppin i thought it broke and went over to him and ask for some.

crack kills, herb heals- Bob Marley
 
'dude, if i dont do my calc im gonna fucking fail the marking period'

'Tom, u think im drunk cause im retarded, well its cause i am' - said in a serious tone, haha got them all on video

 
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