Drunk Classifications

J

(Jonesy)

Active member
Which one are you?

Random drunk running guy- Where are you going? And why are you running?

Crying girl on cell phone- Yes, Sweetheart, when you are hammered is a great time to deal with your relationship problems.

High Five guy- Just happy to be hammered. Everyone needs a high five!

Drunken chanters- SHUT UP!

Fight anyone guy- Can't you find something better to do when you get trashed? .....like having a good time? How about trying to get laid? Better start a fight over something important like collars or haircuts.

Stumbling high heel girl- You can barely walk in them when you are sober, why would you think that shots of cheap booze would help your cause?

Antisocial obliterated “I’m just here for the booze� guy- This character doesn’t care at all about socializing and leaves as soon as the keg is kicked. What an inspiration.

Herd of Freshmen- You like to travel in groups to the nearest frat house to wait in line for Natural Ice or Milwaukee's Best, while being talked down to.

Straight to Gay in 2 beers guy- It's cool, man, just come out of the closet. Your friends are here to support you.

Hypothermia girl- The wind chill is five below zero, but you are still wearing a mini-skirt and your tatas are hanging out.

Philosophical slurring drunk- You have the answer to everything and especially enjoy getting into lighthearted discussions about subjects such as politics, religion, and abortion.

Drama/ Freak out girl- Wait… everyone's having a great time? Better divert all the attention to your petty problem.

Too much too quick guy- You tried to show off early in the night with successive shots or double beer bongs, now you are passed out on the couch with a fake moustache and penis drawn on your face.

Group of girls in bathroom- Are you helping each other wipe or comparing hoohahs?

“We Cool?� guy - Can usually be found right behind "fight anyone guy." You like to pretend you’re trying to diffuse the situation, while promptly escalating fight if "We Not Cool."

Grinding, reach around, dancer guy- If you're not a freshman getting drunk at frats for the first time, they are most likely just a sleazebag.

Keg Power trip guy- You are the "commander of the keg." You arm yourself with the keg hose and get off by controlling who gets beer.

“Wanna take shots in my room?� guy- Classy

Bodybuilder/ light beer drinker - You drink a case of cheap light beer, then work out for 3 hours next day to "get rid of all the toxins."

The drinking dictator- You like to make all the rules. You spout out gems like, “Drink more, faster!� and “No! A two doesn’t clear!�

“Let’s go drink more at my place and watch a movie� guy- Works every time.

Get a room couple- Do you think an apartment couch is a cheap, pay by the hour motel room?

Daredevil- You enjoy blacking out, jumping over things and risking your life whenever possible.

Keg groupies- You stand in a group of three or four, never more than an arm's length away from "the precious."

Random old guy- Are you an alumni? Someone's dad? Trying to get 18-year-old ass?

“I can’t believe he is still puking� guy- You can usually be found in the bathroom, but less classy specimen may be found at the nearest sink or garbage can.

Pee on stuff guy- Peeing in bushes is one thing, but Christ, the Xbox?! Really?!

Break shit guy- You are hammered, so the material world will pay the price!

Raspy voice yelling girl- Seriously, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

"Where's the motherfucking pussy?" Guy- Every place you go had better be packed with hot chicks or, by God, will you be bitching…not that you’re going to get ass anyway, but whatever.

Taken from College Humor

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
yea, it's funny how on target this is.

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
that is funny

Yea. I said it.

____________________________________

-STEVE STEPP

"Hey. You hear what I called him? He can't do JACK about it." - Master Shake
 
yea those made me think of a lot of people i know, made me start laughing for a couple of them

=======================

don't take me for a joke, i'm no comedian. too many mental problems got me snortin' coke and smokin' weed again.
 
i'm high five guy.

and i've been to all too many parties with drama/freak girls there.

-hendrik

________________________________
_______

Just ski.
 
id have to say the few times i have been drunk, im a 5 five drunk

no me gusta acls

--on Xbox live with lat and bons--

Bons: so lat put ur girlfriend on this shit

Lat: nah shes downstairs taking a shit

Random dude on there:gettting ready for anal domintation

also known as pussyfooter
 
Im the the philosophical, I have some friends that are too so if there is nothing better to do, we can always breakout some in-depth conversations

 
I'm the guy that has to drive everyone home, because otherwise, I get beaten up

i don't want this to get out too far but i heard ninthward has sex with armada-Twix_182

 
Haha, very accurate. I'm probably high five guy.

________________________________________

"Sure thing squirl. just cut me down and PROMISE you wont burry me!"

 
That's me right there trying to get people always to drink to their full potential.

The drinking dictator- You like to make all the rules. You spout out gems like, “Drink more, faster!� and “No! A two doesn’t clear!�

-People say marijuana ruins your life, I just say I take the scenic route-
 
I'm a mix of a high five and daredevil

I always blacked out(if that means I don't remember shit from the night) and I'm always talking to new people

rock yo shit

*NS Skateboarders Cult*
 
daredevil/philisophical haha damn drinking

****************************************

-Matt

It's gonna be a long four years...

NS SKATEBOARDERS

 
its funny cu its so tru

id probably be high five guy or daredevil

Yea. I said it.

____________________________________

-STEVE STEPP

"Hey. You hear what I called him? He can't do JACK about it." - Master Shake
 
so many that i could be...

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

No risk, No reward

i am a demublicandepentantomunist

 
Nice, I'm a philisophical slurring random running high five drunk, the best kind there is. I'm not spontaneously philisophilical, but when I stumble on a philosophical conversation I definetely consider myself to be the holder of absolute knowledge. For example, I often remember discovering the meaning of life during an evening but I forget what exactly it was the following morning.

*******************

'I'm the master of low expectations.'

'I understand small business growth. I was one'

-Dubya!

 
so basically this is how my drunk nights start -

1. Antisocial "I'm just here for the booze" guy.

2. High five guy.. after the fiving of the high i usually turn into...

3. "We cool guy" because 1 of my friends has turned into the..

4. "Pee on stuff" guy.

5. "Daredevil" guy but its mostly just blacking out.. and not jumping over 8' beach-fires

 
im definitely the high five guy

-------------------------------------

"i
f you do the sickest switch cork ever people will still say why dont you have bigger pants" - Fr2planker
 
Philosophising daredevil highfiver.

I get a little out of control with the high fives. I was bowling trashed and I kept highfiving all these old black guys and asking them for newports.

________________________________________

I woke the same as any other day

Except a voice was in my head

It said seize the day, pull the trigger

Drop the blade, and watch the rolling heads.
 
i dont fit under any of those categories. im "everything is really entertaining" drunk

a good friend is the guy who bails you out of jail...
a best friend is the guy on your right saying, 'damn that was fun'
 
i could think of atleast 1 person for each situation. hahah im only 17, and i have seen all of these, quite funny, i think they covered all the bases haha

.........................................
..........

-Jordan-

whenever I tell any of them that their too fat they laugh and say good one. I insist that it was not a joke but they dont beleive me. its pretty gross- t-man152
 
high five guy for sure. the coupple of times ive been drunk (15 years old and not a heavy drinker), im just happy to be there and have a fun time

Member 15877

 
ha im a high five/daredevil/where are the bitches at most def

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Valley-Lu

"most of the time, majority is wrong"- punk_rider
 
I am herd of freshman, I am in in a frat, I live in a frat house, and I try to fuck as many of them as I can, but I think I just got a freshman bitch for the loooooong term

Hunter S. Thompson
1939-2005

'Soberity is not an option.'

Drivin that Train
 
same mad def the high five guy

I Love Head

If you have a mac and want to join a mac user cult pm me to get in.

 
I mean I'm am the cowboy in front of them

Hunter S. Thompson
1939-2005

'Soberity is not an option.'

Drivin that Train
 
I've seen a fair few of them over my time.

I'm either chugging shots/pints in quick sucsession.

Then talking to everyone, then philosophical.

I like mixing it up. I've not done the daredevil thing for a while now!

-Alex.

No evidence for Evolution, are you Amish? - Ski-hobo

No:- The word that makes sex rape.
 
unfortunately, i think i'm the raspy voiced yelling girl. it's not that i'm yelling AT anything, i just can't control my voice level. oh well...

gangcaster
 
i'm usually many of those, kinda varies depending on the situation, but nontheless I'm always the real cracked out guy, hahahha

=======================

don't take me for a joke, i'm no comedian. too many mental problems got me snortin' coke and smokin' weed again.
 
i'm usually the antisocial obliterated type, but on big nights, i'm the high five guy and the daredevil. if there's a keg though, i tend to be a keg groupie.

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
yep ive been mostly every guy, i guess i have lived my life to the fullest....

i really pity the person who thought of that after the first 6-7 they got stupid

___________________

Josh Barilar

Sportin' the bath robe steeze.

since 1984

NO BRIAN, its I before E except after C, an when sounding like a in a neighbor in weigh and on weekends and holidays and all through out may and you'll always be wrong n
 
ahahaha thats is good i read every single one

------Julian

M.A.M.S.P....NWFT(cause everyone else has it there)
 
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