Drug Tests

Planet_Captain

Planet_Captain

Member
Who here has a method to pass a urine test for mary-jane that they have tried and know works? Don't tell me to go clean either, because it's too late for that...

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Doctor: Well Rudolph we finally figured out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph: Is it pixy dust or Leprechaun tails?

Doctor: No - it's a tumor.

Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?

Doctor: No a maligna
 
just drink as much water as you possibly can, it should water it down and you might pass. But those drug tests arnt always like ppl say, like if you only smoke once itll be outa yer system after about a week usually. the only way it stays in yer system as long as they say is when u smoke everyday.

 
I heard something about putting like 4 drops of visine into your piss because it destroys the thc metabolites. Any truth to this?

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Doctor: Well Rudolph we finally figured out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph: Is it pixy dust or Leprechaun tails?

Doctor: No - it's a tumor.

Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?

Doctor: No a maligna
 
^ Because the piss has to be between 90-99 degrees or else it will be rejected, and I lack the supplies needed to keep it that warm and it's too short of notice to get piss from anyone now.

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Doctor: Well Rudolph we finally figured out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph: Is it pixy dust or Leprechaun tails?

Doctor: No - it's a tumor.

Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?

Doctor: No a maligna
 
the drinking lots of water seems to work, ive known a few kids who have passed that way. what did you do that you are being tested?

katie
.26703.
Just Fucking Ski
 
It's bullshit 60 day probation for this fight at school. I was apparently arrested for disorderly conduct even though I wasn't informed of it until a month and a half later...

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Doctor: Well Rudolph we finally figured out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph: Is it pixy dust or Leprechaun tails?

Doctor: No - it's a tumor.

Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?

Doctor: No a maligna
 
Forget it, you're fucked.

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

*bowing in humble awe of your mistique*
-almostaskiier

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you c
 
Jack off in the cup. Cut yourself. Mix blood,semen, and piss. ANd bring chewing tobacco. And a lighter. It worked for my brohter.

Ski Alta
 
^ I'm thinkin I'd rather just take some exlax and give them some really runny shit and say I don't know what the hell is wrong with me and they should take me to the hospital right away for pissing out shit.

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Doctor: Well Rudolph we finally figured out what makes your nose red.

Rudolph: Is it pixy dust or Leprechaun tails?

Doctor: No - it's a tumor.

Rudolph: You mean like a magical Christmas tumor?

Doctor: No a maligna
 
if you drink enough water i would assume that you would jsut start pissing straight water and there would be no other remenits of any other drugs considering it is jsut water but idk its worth a shot, but onthe other hand you might jsut be fucked regaurdless

 
who in hell is going to give you a drug test in the first place, get a lawyer and sue the bastards

any one for another beer
I AM CANADIAN !!!
 
eat a poppy seed bagel and it will show up and tell them you ate a poppy seed and they will psotpone your drug test and then jsut dont do drugs for a month.

Ski Alta
 
lol thats ridiculous.. you dont have to do all that nasty shit.. this is how you do it:

Several Different methods of passing drug test.

#1. Get clean urine from a friend (one youre sure doesnt smoke). put this piss inside two ziplock bags. Have a syringe (just the plastic part) and fill it up with piss. Pull as back as you can. When u go do the test be wearing a long sleeve shirt preferably. Pull both sleeves up and tape it on your arm sideways as close to the pulled up sleeves as possible. When taking a piss simply take the tape off (if youre in a urinary be careful about this movement make sure whoever is watching you cant see.) +Make sure you save the tape for later, put it on ur shirt. Just put the piss from the syringe in the cup.then put the tape back on the syringe and re-tape it to your arm. Just get away clean and you're done.

#2. This way will get you off in 2 weeks.

>Workout Intensily as many days of the week as possible. (I just box)

>Drink water constantly, always keep a water bottle.

>Piss A Lot

>Every night take at least 10 shots of hard liquur 60+proof

>If vodka treat yourself to a mix if the taste is too bad for you to take 10 shots.

>Avoid smoking cigarettes.

NOTE: If you had smoked only once and it was at least a week after the last time you smoked, then this will get you clean VERY FAST.

IF you had smoked several times in the previous week this will take about 2 weeks.

Personally i can assure you that both work tho I find #1 more reliable, there is an extremely small risk of getting caught if gaurds at youre place pat you down. If youre not in that kind of situation then its all good.

i wrote this and i just touched up on a sick bowl too....

Matching Special Blend Jacket and Foursquare Snowpants for Sale
^^^^It's BRAND NEW. NEVER BEEN WORN!
 
eat cranberries< they are really good and drink cranberry juice a lot and water , someone also told me multi-vitamins. also if you want to cheet if you can get a nifty contraption you put the bag of clean urine under your arm pit (so that it is within the correct temp). But if they watch you (which they usualy do) you will prob get caught.

OAkley,GOOde,UT athletic Foundation,Hot Chillys*
 
you can smoke the DAY OF YOUR EXAm if you want and just go purchase a bottle of EZClean from a head shop. they are like $15 and you drink the juice then refill with water 4 times roughly 1-2 hours before your exam and it keeps you clean for 5 hrs+.

THC is stored in fatty cells in your body, thus if your skinny and have almost no fat your body will get rid of the THC alot faster. making you clean within a week probably.

it also depends how much you smoke... a friend is on probabtion and gets tested mothly and she still smokes, up until 2 weeks before her test. if yuo only smoke a few times a week then dont sweat too much, just dont smoke for a week and drink gallons of water the night before and the day of your test. this will flush your system too fast that the THC doesnt have to time be absorbed into the piss and will stay in the body.

also since THC is stored in fatty cells its is in your BEST interest to WORKOUT. burn off as much fat that you can, cuz thats where all the THC is stored.

work yuor as off constantly running and breaking a sweat, this will all help to get you clean.

your piss will be clear and some places wont take that so why not just use a drink that will neutralize the chemicals in your piss for 5-7 hours?

i took one of those drinks for my test and i had smoked a 6 days before.

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Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it.

D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.

 
High Five's idea is good, but there is no way that the piss stays warm. get some clean pee and put it in a condom and stick it under your arm to keep it warm, but the people testing you might be watching, so you can get a camelback tube, cut it off from the reservoir, and fill it with pee and tape it along side your dick. when you have to pee, just release the on/off switch of the camelback (which should be near your dick head) and let the piss come out, it will look identical to you actually peeing, and the piss will stay warm inside the tube, because the camelback is supposed to maintain the liquids temperature. this way is very safe, but it will cost you a camelback. try it and i guarentee it will work

 
actually, the easiest thing is to just drop a peice of lint (or some other small hard to see item) into the cup as you piss. This is an old military trick, because you put the lint in the cup, the sample is now contaminated. When the results come back it should be inconclusive due to the contamination of the sample, but if it comes back positive for THC, you cry bullshit, "the cup was contaminated, I saw lint (or whatever) fall into the cup, it must have been on there". The worst they can make you do is take another one (and this should have given you plenty of time to get legitimately clean).

life is too short to have any regrets
 
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