charcharbinks
Member
I have to take a piss test for a job I'm trying to get. I smoke herb and my system isn't clean. I don't have enough time to wait for it to leave my system. Any advice on how I could detox fast or something? Thanks
Drug Test
- Thread starter charcharbinks
- Start date
geteducated
Active member
day care
.Cinderella.
Member
drink bleach it will clean your insides
ski-swagga
Active member
some of my friends have drank detox drinks and were successful in having clean tests. if not that drink a fuck-ton of water and juice and pray to god you dont fail. how long do you have?
charcharbinks
Member
I am calling the dude tomorrow to figure out when the test is, but I would imagine it's in less than a week. Where would I purchase detox drinks?
OssargYormada
Member
yep. worx for me
charcharbinks
Member
Can't smoke more weed without money?
2_fadez
Active member
I thought I was going to have to do one so here is my info I have collected on it:
"do mild exercise for up to 3 days prior to the test, at which point become very sedentary. The exercise will help eliminate cannabis metabolites from your fat cells. Becoming sedentary for a few days before will ensure that the metabolites are locked into the fat cells and having 3 days of non activity ensures that you will excrete metabolites put into your blood stream when you exercised.
3-4 days prior to test begin to load up on creatine filled foods such as red meat. If you are a vegetarian, purchase creatine supplements. Loading up on creatine will raise your urine's specific gravity & creatinine levels, which will help hide the fact that you are adulterating the sample.
Take a large dose of aspirin (around 1300mg or 4 regular Bayer aspirins) no more than 4 hours before the test. The aspirin will thin your blood thereby effecting how much metabolite is filtered into your urine by your kidneys. On the day of the test, preferably after taking the aspirin, begin to load up on water. A good rule of thumb is 32oz/hour. You will be voiding alot, but the constant urination will filter out the metabolites built up during sleep, and eventually your urine will be pretty much pure water, if your voiding clear urine this is a good sign, and will be taken care of in the next step. A word of caution, if you begin to feel sick from the water cut back on your intake.
One hour prior to test take a large dose of B complex vitamins IMPORTANT: READ THE LABEL AND MAKE SURE THERE IS B2 (also known as RIBOFLAVIN) IN THE VITAMIN! A good brand to use is Solgar b-complex 50. Take 2 of these to ensure a good amount of B vitamin is in your system. B vitamins act to color your urine yellow, B2 has the largest effect on this.
Go into the facility and take the test. When in the bathroom, make sure to urinate into the toilet first, catch the mid part of the stream for your sample and then urinate the rest out. (the beginning of any stream of urine will be the dirtiest, but by this point with the aspirin and h2o you shouldn't have to worry about that as much as taking a test without proper preparation)
Relax and leave the facility, DO NOT TOKE UP AGAIN UNTIL YOU KNOW THE RESULTS OF THE TEST. Enjoy the job and when you're in the clear roll up a nice fatty for the Stoner turned nurse who helped you through this, unfortunately for me, its not just a job, its my nursing license on the line so smoking isn't an option. I hope this guide helps the trees community. "
"I’m a Dr. of pharmacy and I am going to put it to your straight. All the products they sell at GNC, Vitamin Shop and health food stores are absolute wastes of your money. If you are a small time user 1-2 times a month and have low body fat you should be clean within two weeks. If you are a chronic user could take up to six weeks to detox. The metabolites of THC are lipid soluble; they are stored in fat cells. The individual’s metabolism and exercise habits can make a difference in the excretion of metabolites. A skinny person who exercises a lot, and uses infrequently can test negative three days after using. A heavy person who doesn’t exercise a lot, is in a bit of a bind.
All of those herbal extracts mentioned are now tested for first, before testing for illegal drugs, and may be considered by some labs to be a positive immediately. Some labs will forward it for gas chromatography analysis and a mass spectrography assessment which will then find the metabolites you have tried to mask. Now I can tell you as a user and pharmacist who conducted experiments in a lab what does and doesn’t work. Those herbal masking agents do not work and will cause you more trouble than it’s worth, and will waste money as well. You must detox using water; large amounts of water must be ingested starting at least 36 hours before the test, up to 1 liter per 14.25kg (31.4 pounds) of body weight per 24 hours. You must also supplement with creatine mono-hydrate a bodybuilding supplement found in health food stores, at a rate of 1 teaspoon per 14.25 Kg of bodyweight. Just mix it with your water. A prescription diuretic called furosemide should also be added to this water creatine therapy as a dosage of one milligram per bodyweight per day administered in two doses, in the morning and the afternoon. When a specimen is examined by the lab they look for the diluteness of the sample, by checking creatine (a byproduct of muscle metabolism) levels. Supplementing with creatine causes a sample taken after heavy water consumption to look as if normal creatine levels are present. The diuretic which is very strong helps to flush the toxic and excess fluids from your body. It's like getting an oil change of sorts. THC metabolites may be present in your fat cells but you are essentially a faucet when you donate your specimen.
The day of your test you should avoid excess physical activity and drink the water and creatine mixture and use furosemide as stated above. You should also take Super B complex vitamins as well as vitamin C several times on the day of your test. This will provide color to the urine so that it does not appear dilute. When you donate, urinate for a short time then hit the cup about ½ way through urination . This is so anything in the urethra is expelled prior to donation. Cranberry extract may be added to the detox therapy above if you are concerned about kidney function while using creatine mono-hydrate.
I have been a regular smoker, 10-15 times per month, in average shape, and use the above program to pass a screening exactly seven days of no use. My colleagues have also used this method to test negative in screening. You may want to practice this several times, without furosemide. Follow the water and creatine method for 36-48 hours then get a clear glass and urinate in it as directed . Hold it up to the light and you should see the excess creatine mono-hydrate floating in the urine like a suspension. Take your vitamins and repeat this process again. If you get a call from the testing agency inquiring about the creatine in your urine simply tell them that you lift weights and jog and do use performance supplements. Good Luck, this process has worked for many health care professionals who like to puff. That s why my colleagues and I set out to decipher a way to pee clean.
Good Luck."
My interpretation is:
Lots and lots of water
Multi-B vitimins to make your pee yellow, so it doesn't look diluted
Creatine supplements to add clean proteins to urine coming out so chemical dilution tests don't show your piss is almost completely water.
"do mild exercise for up to 3 days prior to the test, at which point become very sedentary. The exercise will help eliminate cannabis metabolites from your fat cells. Becoming sedentary for a few days before will ensure that the metabolites are locked into the fat cells and having 3 days of non activity ensures that you will excrete metabolites put into your blood stream when you exercised.
3-4 days prior to test begin to load up on creatine filled foods such as red meat. If you are a vegetarian, purchase creatine supplements. Loading up on creatine will raise your urine's specific gravity & creatinine levels, which will help hide the fact that you are adulterating the sample.
Take a large dose of aspirin (around 1300mg or 4 regular Bayer aspirins) no more than 4 hours before the test. The aspirin will thin your blood thereby effecting how much metabolite is filtered into your urine by your kidneys. On the day of the test, preferably after taking the aspirin, begin to load up on water. A good rule of thumb is 32oz/hour. You will be voiding alot, but the constant urination will filter out the metabolites built up during sleep, and eventually your urine will be pretty much pure water, if your voiding clear urine this is a good sign, and will be taken care of in the next step. A word of caution, if you begin to feel sick from the water cut back on your intake.
One hour prior to test take a large dose of B complex vitamins IMPORTANT: READ THE LABEL AND MAKE SURE THERE IS B2 (also known as RIBOFLAVIN) IN THE VITAMIN! A good brand to use is Solgar b-complex 50. Take 2 of these to ensure a good amount of B vitamin is in your system. B vitamins act to color your urine yellow, B2 has the largest effect on this.
Go into the facility and take the test. When in the bathroom, make sure to urinate into the toilet first, catch the mid part of the stream for your sample and then urinate the rest out. (the beginning of any stream of urine will be the dirtiest, but by this point with the aspirin and h2o you shouldn't have to worry about that as much as taking a test without proper preparation)
Relax and leave the facility, DO NOT TOKE UP AGAIN UNTIL YOU KNOW THE RESULTS OF THE TEST. Enjoy the job and when you're in the clear roll up a nice fatty for the Stoner turned nurse who helped you through this, unfortunately for me, its not just a job, its my nursing license on the line so smoking isn't an option. I hope this guide helps the trees community. "
"I’m a Dr. of pharmacy and I am going to put it to your straight. All the products they sell at GNC, Vitamin Shop and health food stores are absolute wastes of your money. If you are a small time user 1-2 times a month and have low body fat you should be clean within two weeks. If you are a chronic user could take up to six weeks to detox. The metabolites of THC are lipid soluble; they are stored in fat cells. The individual’s metabolism and exercise habits can make a difference in the excretion of metabolites. A skinny person who exercises a lot, and uses infrequently can test negative three days after using. A heavy person who doesn’t exercise a lot, is in a bit of a bind.
All of those herbal extracts mentioned are now tested for first, before testing for illegal drugs, and may be considered by some labs to be a positive immediately. Some labs will forward it for gas chromatography analysis and a mass spectrography assessment which will then find the metabolites you have tried to mask. Now I can tell you as a user and pharmacist who conducted experiments in a lab what does and doesn’t work. Those herbal masking agents do not work and will cause you more trouble than it’s worth, and will waste money as well. You must detox using water; large amounts of water must be ingested starting at least 36 hours before the test, up to 1 liter per 14.25kg (31.4 pounds) of body weight per 24 hours. You must also supplement with creatine mono-hydrate a bodybuilding supplement found in health food stores, at a rate of 1 teaspoon per 14.25 Kg of bodyweight. Just mix it with your water. A prescription diuretic called furosemide should also be added to this water creatine therapy as a dosage of one milligram per bodyweight per day administered in two doses, in the morning and the afternoon. When a specimen is examined by the lab they look for the diluteness of the sample, by checking creatine (a byproduct of muscle metabolism) levels. Supplementing with creatine causes a sample taken after heavy water consumption to look as if normal creatine levels are present. The diuretic which is very strong helps to flush the toxic and excess fluids from your body. It's like getting an oil change of sorts. THC metabolites may be present in your fat cells but you are essentially a faucet when you donate your specimen.
The day of your test you should avoid excess physical activity and drink the water and creatine mixture and use furosemide as stated above. You should also take Super B complex vitamins as well as vitamin C several times on the day of your test. This will provide color to the urine so that it does not appear dilute. When you donate, urinate for a short time then hit the cup about ½ way through urination . This is so anything in the urethra is expelled prior to donation. Cranberry extract may be added to the detox therapy above if you are concerned about kidney function while using creatine mono-hydrate.
I have been a regular smoker, 10-15 times per month, in average shape, and use the above program to pass a screening exactly seven days of no use. My colleagues have also used this method to test negative in screening. You may want to practice this several times, without furosemide. Follow the water and creatine method for 36-48 hours then get a clear glass and urinate in it as directed . Hold it up to the light and you should see the excess creatine mono-hydrate floating in the urine like a suspension. Take your vitamins and repeat this process again. If you get a call from the testing agency inquiring about the creatine in your urine simply tell them that you lift weights and jog and do use performance supplements. Good Luck, this process has worked for many health care professionals who like to puff. That s why my colleagues and I set out to decipher a way to pee clean.
Good Luck."
My interpretation is:
Lots and lots of water
Multi-B vitimins to make your pee yellow, so it doesn't look diluted
Creatine supplements to add clean proteins to urine coming out so chemical dilution tests don't show your piss is almost completely water.
MewTwo
Member
Find a buddy that doesn't smoke and have him piss in a bottle. Transfer said piss to a 2.5 fl ounce travel shampoo container, 2 would work but your cutting it close.Make sure it has a screw on cap. Now get a digital thermometer and some hand warmers. An hour and a half before your test wrap the shampoo container in a hand warmer and try to heat it up to about 100 degrees and keep it there. Before you walk in to the test stick it under your gooch. Walk in, poor out shampoo bottle, walk out. Done. Your welcome
ski4fun420
Member
Listen to this post. It is 100% true. I did a paper on drug testing in the workplace. Everything stated is absolutely true. THC works like the "half-life" shit you study in chemistry.
ski4fun420
Member
Correct me if I am wrong Annefrank. If you only smoke 3 times a month this would only be tough if you did the smoking three days in a row. If you only do one or two tokes one day and do not do any more tokes for at least 8-10 day, the level or nanograms as they measure them should be next to nothing. If you only did 1-2 bonghits every 30th day the measurable amount would be out of your system in 3-5 days max...
Wallisch_pl
Active member
pee in nurses butt and then your clear for passage
Wallisch_pl
Active member
I thought it was funny, but you..you have a sick sense of humor
charcharbinks
Member
Thanks man. But does it matter if it's a girl's pee? Will they figure that out, or does it not matter?
CluckaChuck
Active member
going places in life.
GayWolf420
Active member
That sucks.
Caucasian_Asian
Active member
Start handing out more resumes.
The_Beekeeper
Member
Threads for if I happen to be in a similar situation
![[hamnuts]](/data/avatars/m/171/171426.jpg?1745610909){kind=avatar}
TechnoPotamus
Active member
stop smoking and doing drugs if you know you're applying for a job
