Don't even reply.

a_pla5tic_bag

a_pla5tic_bag

Active member
with the other thread with damn you autocorrect, I figured I remind you of don't even reply.

http://dontevenreply.com/

here's one

Original ad:

I need a dishwasher dont care what color so long

as it is a good working dishwasher that is cheap. I have a truck and can

pick it up if necessary.





From me to ********@*********.org:

Hello! My name Miguel, I am good working dishwasher. I work at Ricardo's

Pizza as dishwasher for 5 years- me top dishwasher. Leave your dishes

very clean and work for cheap. I have no driving license. You pick up,

yes?

Miguel

From John ******* to Me:

haha I want a dishwashing machine not a person who washes dishes. thanks though.

From Me to John *******:

Yes, I wash dishes like machine...even better! You want, yes?

From John ******* to Me:

No! No want!

I want THIS

dishwasher.gif


That is called a DISHWASHER. I don't want a porto rican who washes dishes!

From Me to John *******:

Oh noooo, I no Puerto Rican. Puerto Ricans very bad dishwashers - no

work ethic. I Mexican - very good work ethic! You no worry, Miguel wash

all dishes on time, with pride!

Is that your dishwash machine? I use sink and soap but can use machine too.

Miguel

From John ******* to Me:

NO dude I want to BUY a machine. i dont know if i can be any clearer. you dont understand me do you?

From Me to John *******:

No worry, I leave dishes clear, clean and sparkle!

Miguel

From John ******* to Me:

dude you obviously have trouble reading english. here. i used a translater.

NO QUIERO CONTRATARLE. QUIERO COMPRAR UNA APLICACIÓN DEL LAVAPLATOS.

you comprende?

From Me to John *******:

que?

From John ******* to Me:

oh for crying out fucking loud dude why did i even bother

fuck this
 
Original ad:

**** Disguisable weapons wanted ****

Wanted: hidden blades, belt buckle knives, cane swords, etc.....

Offering: cash, items for barter

From Me to **********@***********.org:

Hey,

I saw your ad looking for concealable/disguised weapons. I have several fine-crafted items you may be interested in. Respond if you are interested and I will send you pictures and prices.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

I am. lets see what you got.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Here you go:

knife1.JPG


Looks like a normal spoon, right?

knife2.JPG


Wrong. It is actually a deadly 2.5" half-smooth, half-serrated knife with tactical grip. One minute you are enjoying a bowl of cereal, and the next you are fighting off attackers with this deadly and disguised weapon.

I am asking $50 for the blade. Let me know if you want to stop by and take a look at it.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

that is stupid as hell and looks like crap. unless you have anything better to offer, dont waste my time.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

I am sorry you feel that way about the spoon blade. I do have some other weapons that I think you will feel differently about.

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

fine. but if it is another knife duct taped to a spoon then you can fuck off.

From Me to Jeff ******:

Jeff,

Thank you for re-considering. Here are three quality disguised weapons that I think you will love:

glock.JPG


At first glance, this looks like a normal party cup. However, if you look close enough, you will see that it is really a fully automatic Glock 18C. You will be able to pour your enemies a nice warm cup of lead with this fine purchase. Asking $900 for the gun/cup combo.

m16.JPG


Still thirsty for justice? Try this badass M16A2 disguised as a 24-pack of soda. The box has two finely crafted holes on each side to allow for any kind of optics (not included) that you wish to attach. This weapon is only for sale if you have a Class III permit.

m3.JPG


This cleverly disguised weapon may look like a tissue box, but is actually a Benelli M3 12 gauge shotgun disguised as a tissue box. The ultra-soft quilted tissues serve as a comfortable grip on the pump-action shotgun. Also, if you find yourself sneezing during the heat of combat, you will have a handy tissue box ready for action. Asking $1500 for the weapon. Additional tissue boxes are an extra $5 per box.

Let me know if you want any of these items.

Thanks,

Mike

From Jeff ****** to Me:

youre a fucking dumbass, shitbrained, asswipe, retarded dipshit. you prob walk around with that shit too you dumb mother fucker. I hope you get hit by a car. fuck off, eat shit, and die.
 
 
but I bet lots of people don't check it regularly, figured i'd remind everyone. it's finals time, people need something to make them happy.
 
its long but sooooo funny

Original ad:

i want a flatscreen tv. at least 40 inches and under $500. hit me up if you got what i want

From Me to ***********@**********.org:

Hey,

I am selling my 42" Westinghouse plasma TV for $400. It is in excellent condition. I'm just selling it because I got a bigger one and don't need this one anymore. Let me know if you are interested.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

yeah man thats perfect. ill buy that as soon as possible. would you be able to bring it to my house? i dont have a car. im home pretty much all day every day

you can call me if you want 610-***-****

From me to jim ******:

No problem, Jim. I could bring it by tomorrow after work. Are you sure you want to buy it though? I don't want to bring it there and have you decide you don't want to buy it.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

no i definitely want it. just bring it over man

my address is 415 ********* rd, ******, PA

just call me if you have any trouble

From me to jim ******:

Okay, I'll be over tomorrow.

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

I'm very sorry I was unable to make it to your house today. I had the TV loaded in the back of my pickup truck, and I was all set to go to your house. I just decided to make a quick stop in Chester to buy some stuff from a friend, and when I got back to my truck, the TV was gone. I can't figure out what the hell happened to it. I'm thinking maybe I hit a bump and it slid out of the truck, because I do forget to close my tailgate sometimes. I don't really remember if it was in the truck when I parked it, so I am baffled.

Anyway, this is totally my fault. Seeing as how I promised you a TV and lost it, I am going to help you out. I signed you up for a 2 year subscription to Plasma TV Enthusiasts Weekly. It is an excellent magazine that will give you a lot of information on plasma TVs to help you make the right decision when buying one. It is normally $84.99 a year, but I hooked you up with my referrer discount so it will only cost you $63.50 a year. I had it sent and billed to the address you gave me, and you should get your first one in a week or two.

Once again, I am very sorry that I lost the TV that I was going to sell you, but hopefully this magazine can help you out.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

are you out of your fuckin mind i dont want any fuckin magazines!!! what the fuck.. you better fuckin cancel that shit. what the fuck were you thinking dude, im not paying for that you fuckin dumbass

From jim ****** to Me:

and its obvious YOUR TV WAS STOLEN YOU FUCKIN RETARD. why the FUCK would you leave a tv in the back of your truck in chester?

cancel the fuckin magazines..NOW.

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

Why do you want me to cancel the magazines? It is a great magazine and I got you a great deal for it. You won't find it cheaper anywhere else. Also, to put it frankly, if you were going to buy a Westinghouse plasma TV from me without even looking at it, then it is clear you still have a lot to learn about plasma TVs. Reading this magazine will make you an expert in no time.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

you fuckin asshole i dont want to pay for some stupid magazine! i just want a goddamn tv. who the fuck would want to read a fuckin weekly magazine about tvs?! cancel it right now. im serious

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

I'm sorry you feel that way about the magazine. I was just trying to help. Unfortunately I cannot cancel the magazine. When I signed you up on the phone, they gave me a confirmation number I could use to cancel the subscription. I couldn't find a piece of paper to write it on, so I wrote the number on a napkin. I think I accidentally used the napkin to wipe my face after eating wings last night, and then threw it out. I'd look through the trash to find it for you, but the garbage truck already picked it up this morning. I think they take it to the dump/recycling center in Media if you want to go look for it. It was a napkin from Taco Bell, if that helps. I usually get all my napkins there.

If you think it would be easier, you could just cancel it once you get your first magazine in the mail. You'll probably be billed for the first month, plus a $75 cancellation fee because I didn't sign you up for cancellation insurance. I just assumed you would want to keep the magazine.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

i cant believe i just read all that shit because i should have known from the first few lines that you were a fuckin idiot

i dont care if you have to blow the fuckin editor, you better find a way to get it cancelled because i am not spending a goddamn nickel on that magazine!

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

If you don't pay for it, that may screw up your credit. I remember one time I forgot to pay my TV guide subscription for about 14 months, and that really messed up my credit. I had trouble buying a house because of that. You should be careful.

Since you seem to not know a lot about the importance of your credit, I signed you up for a year subscription of In Debt Weekly, a great magazine that can teach you a lot about credit. Don't worry, I got you the same discount as before, and this magazine is actually a little bit cheaper. It is only $34.99 a year. It came with a discounted subscription to Card Times, another magazine about credit cards. That one is only $25 per year, so I signed you up for that as well. It is a decent magazine for the price.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

GL4KJHSGSKFKJS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE STOP SIGNING ME UP FOR FUCKING MAGAZINES!!!!

CANCEL THOSE RIGHT NOW MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

From me to jim ******:

Jim,

There is no need for that kind of language. Please do not talk to me anymore.

Unless you would be interested in a subscription to Anger Management Journal. I can sign you up for that if you want to learn how to control your temper.

Mike

From jim ****** to Me:

FUCK YOU
 
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