trevorwoulddoit
Active member
Do you ever get the feeling that something is going on just beneath the surface? And you just can’t put your finger on it? Like when a girl is hinting something to you. And no matter how hard she hints you just don't quite get it? (Hint Ladies: Don't hint, tell us. We really have no idea what you're talking about.) Well I go that feeling today. Oh ya, this is about Evan Raps, so keep reading.
After getting off my crappy minimum wage job, I went to check if the newsstand had the newest issue of Freeskier yet. Naturally, having already purchased Powder, Freeze and SBC Skier, I was looking to complete the quartet. And believe it, or not God smiled upon me today, and it was there. This pleased me immensely, as I would have something to read on the bus ride home.
Now, as I was paging through the magazine, I saw the new Sessions ad, and who managed to appear to be listed as a new team rider but Evan Raps. So naturally, I ask myself. “What the hell is going on here? This guy hasn’t done anything since the 02 X-Games. How does he keep on picking up sponsors?�
The man, who was once proclaimed by Tanner Hall as a competitor to his ultimate jib supremacy, and publicly proclaimed “notorious trickologist�, has to have been up to something. The fact that his place of birth has been officially reported in at least 3 different places, (Reno NV, Manhattan NY, and Northport NY) should clearly propel him into “international man of mystery� status. Those persistent rumours of him running a gang in South Central Los Angeles, or Inglewood, (reports vary) can’t be true. Can they? Being somewhat of an Evan Raps fan this required an investigation.
Somehow, while seemingly doing nothing at all, Evan has managed to:
-Be signed to the Rossi Scratch Pro Team year after year.
-Get sponsored by Dakine
-Get on the new Spy Optic ski team. (Managed by Josh Berman)
-Get sponsored by Kicker Performance Audio
-Maintain his Mountain Dew sponsorship.
-And most recently get picked up by Sessions. The company with the monopoly on “skarachuting� heavyweights Shane Mckonkey and JT Holmes. Of course, calling Shane a skaracuting heavyweight is like calling Michael Jordan a great golfer. They were good at that other sport too.
So this begs the question posed in countless threads on our very own Newschoolers.com. What the hell has he been up to? This is where that funny feeling I mentioned earlier is coming into play. He has to be up to something. There is no way he’s getting all these hookups for doing nothing. What is coming? The greatest comeback since Mario Lemieux? World domination? A cease-fire between the Bloods and the Crips? Nothing is for sure. But I can tell you this. I found some information, on a place no newschool skier hunting the whereabouts of Evan Raps would possibly think to look, “Skiing� magazine’s website.
What is this notoriously old school, one piece and a scotch, cabin in Aspen magazine doing talking to Even “baller shot-caller� Raps? The newschool gangsta that was so gangsta, that “gangsta� was his nickname?
Helping those old farts rehab their knees of course! Nobody can deny he’s an expert at that.
There, accompanied by a small synopsis (appearing below) and a picture of “Evan raps, X-Games star, training for the 03-04 slopestyle season.� Was at least a partial answer to our questions.
“For the past three seasons, 24-year-old freeskier Evan Raps has used a self-designed training regimen that would impress even the likes of Hermann Maier. In addition to lifting Hulk-size loads doing squats, leg presses, and hamstring curls, he tortured himself with sprints on the bike and the treadmill. And, if he was lucky, he squeezed in a few surfing sessions between stints of summertime on-snow training in British Columbia�
“Since Raps’ X Games fumble, he has traded a few hours on his surfboard for more Swiss ball time doing what physical therapists call “prehabilitation.� “The exercises incorporate different angles and challenge my muscles in new ways,� says Raps. It not only protects his muscles and joints, but also makes Raps more fearless. “Being strong makes me much more confident during the season. I’m willing to take more risks, and my muscles last longer—which is important on heli-runs in Alaska.�
Alaska eh? No wonder we couldn’t find him. So apparently, he’s rehabbing, but that brings us to the real question. For what? Clearly, he’s plotting something diabolical. And his sponsors obviously see something in him. (We all know how ruthless they can be) *cough* Philou *cough*
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Disclaimer: I have never met Evan Raps and any information in this little piece concerning him could be completely wrong. I don’t claim to know him or what he’s up to. I can just guess and hope. So don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Because I really don’t. Thank you for your time.
Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer). Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.
You have been warned…
After getting off my crappy minimum wage job, I went to check if the newsstand had the newest issue of Freeskier yet. Naturally, having already purchased Powder, Freeze and SBC Skier, I was looking to complete the quartet. And believe it, or not God smiled upon me today, and it was there. This pleased me immensely, as I would have something to read on the bus ride home.
Now, as I was paging through the magazine, I saw the new Sessions ad, and who managed to appear to be listed as a new team rider but Evan Raps. So naturally, I ask myself. “What the hell is going on here? This guy hasn’t done anything since the 02 X-Games. How does he keep on picking up sponsors?�
The man, who was once proclaimed by Tanner Hall as a competitor to his ultimate jib supremacy, and publicly proclaimed “notorious trickologist�, has to have been up to something. The fact that his place of birth has been officially reported in at least 3 different places, (Reno NV, Manhattan NY, and Northport NY) should clearly propel him into “international man of mystery� status. Those persistent rumours of him running a gang in South Central Los Angeles, or Inglewood, (reports vary) can’t be true. Can they? Being somewhat of an Evan Raps fan this required an investigation.
Somehow, while seemingly doing nothing at all, Evan has managed to:
-Be signed to the Rossi Scratch Pro Team year after year.
-Get sponsored by Dakine
-Get on the new Spy Optic ski team. (Managed by Josh Berman)
-Get sponsored by Kicker Performance Audio
-Maintain his Mountain Dew sponsorship.
-And most recently get picked up by Sessions. The company with the monopoly on “skarachuting� heavyweights Shane Mckonkey and JT Holmes. Of course, calling Shane a skaracuting heavyweight is like calling Michael Jordan a great golfer. They were good at that other sport too.
So this begs the question posed in countless threads on our very own Newschoolers.com. What the hell has he been up to? This is where that funny feeling I mentioned earlier is coming into play. He has to be up to something. There is no way he’s getting all these hookups for doing nothing. What is coming? The greatest comeback since Mario Lemieux? World domination? A cease-fire between the Bloods and the Crips? Nothing is for sure. But I can tell you this. I found some information, on a place no newschool skier hunting the whereabouts of Evan Raps would possibly think to look, “Skiing� magazine’s website.
What is this notoriously old school, one piece and a scotch, cabin in Aspen magazine doing talking to Even “baller shot-caller� Raps? The newschool gangsta that was so gangsta, that “gangsta� was his nickname?
Helping those old farts rehab their knees of course! Nobody can deny he’s an expert at that.
There, accompanied by a small synopsis (appearing below) and a picture of “Evan raps, X-Games star, training for the 03-04 slopestyle season.� Was at least a partial answer to our questions.
“For the past three seasons, 24-year-old freeskier Evan Raps has used a self-designed training regimen that would impress even the likes of Hermann Maier. In addition to lifting Hulk-size loads doing squats, leg presses, and hamstring curls, he tortured himself with sprints on the bike and the treadmill. And, if he was lucky, he squeezed in a few surfing sessions between stints of summertime on-snow training in British Columbia�
“Since Raps’ X Games fumble, he has traded a few hours on his surfboard for more Swiss ball time doing what physical therapists call “prehabilitation.� “The exercises incorporate different angles and challenge my muscles in new ways,� says Raps. It not only protects his muscles and joints, but also makes Raps more fearless. “Being strong makes me much more confident during the season. I’m willing to take more risks, and my muscles last longer—which is important on heli-runs in Alaska.�
Alaska eh? No wonder we couldn’t find him. So apparently, he’s rehabbing, but that brings us to the real question. For what? Clearly, he’s plotting something diabolical. And his sponsors obviously see something in him. (We all know how ruthless they can be) *cough* Philou *cough*
I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Disclaimer: I have never met Evan Raps and any information in this little piece concerning him could be completely wrong. I don’t claim to know him or what he’s up to. I can just guess and hope. So don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Because I really don’t. Thank you for your time.
Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex (or same sex if you prefer). Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic.
You have been warned…
) And I read powder too.