"Dave Matthews fans are like the trans-fats of fandom:
oversaturated with obnoxiousness, found everywhere, and impossible to get rid of; for example,
they only refer to the band as DMB... you can't abbreviate the word 'band' assholes, it's a band
by virtue of the fact that there is more than 1 person in it, and for the record, adding the word 'band' to
your name doesn't make you any less of an egotistical shit head).  Man, you know what I hate?  Dave Matthews.
It's the whitest band
ever, which is saying something considering 3 of the members are black,
and Dave
Matthews is literally an African American (born in South Africa). His
music can be heard in Whole Foods stores, Live
Earth concerts, or blasting from the speakers of open-topped Jeeps
parked on curbs everywhere. The typical fan is either some dude wearing
khaki cargo shorts replete with dangling rock climbing hooks,
even though he doesn't hike because he can't afford to drive his
gas-guzzling Jeep,
or some
chick with huge boobs, buck teeth, and an ankle-length floral skirt
that she twirls around like
an idiot because she thinks her awesome boobs give her enough social
capital to make up for the buck teeth
and hairy toes (they don't): "