Wow, I didn't know this was such a common experience. I'll give you my 2 cents.
So when I was young 2 or 3 years old I had a major dislocation, fell of a couch which took it out, I put it back in myself a week or so later by falling on it again off a rocking horse. Everything was good for the next 12 years as I was growing and everything is soft in that stage of your life so it appeared normal.
Fast forward to when I was 14. I am starting to stop growing. I start to dislocate it from time to time. I can always put it back in myself by just feeling around and playing with it until i feel it pop into place. for the next 4 years this happens more and more often, which blows, but i deal with it. The worst was when it dislocated 3 times in one day of skiing.
So eventually I decided to figure out whats going on in my shoulder cause I want to see whats up. So I get an MRI. Doctor says i need surgery. So I basically get shoulder reconstruction. When they cut inside its much worse than they thought from the MRI. I tore the cartilage from the ball part of the ball and socket joint, tore other various ligaments and cartilage including a labral tear. Apparently its gotten so bad the bones in my shoulder joint have started to chip. Also i guess it was never fully back into place so i was going around with it on the edge of a dislocation, not good for the joint to heal.
So the surgery takes longer than they thought cause they had a ton of stuff to fix. Tightening basically every ligament in the shoulder and reattaching every piece of cartilage and replacing it into its socket. So several pins and hours later the surgery is complete. I guess it went well. Gotta tell you anesthesia sucks. Waking up from it is the worst thing ever. Worst sensation and feelings ever. Although I guess its worse for people of english and scotish descent.
But yeah, expect 6 months of doing nothing, no skiing, no mntn biking, no baseball, football, bball, etc. Cause if you fall on it during those 6 months there is a very good chance of needing to have the surgery over again which ondoes everything so another 6 months of nothing, so play it safe and get it over with. Its worth the wait.
PT sucks though. But it is very helpful to get your range of motion and strength back. Very painful though. So i had my surgery done in janurary. Wanted to wait till may cause then i'd be skiing in november, but it was so bad i needed to get it done asap. So i bit the bullet and had it done. Got some skiing in nov and dec in but then sat the rest of the season out which sucked. But i'm so pumped to ski this season and take nothing for granted and have so much more confidence when skiing.
Thats another thing get it done soon it only gets worse. My Dr. said if you wait until you're 30 or 35 you will need a new shoulder which really sucks. Right now I'm still working on confidence with it and strengthening it up. I work it at the gym and do pushups and also play some football and throw a baseball around. I might buy a shoulder brace though for skiing just in case.
Anyway good luck with your shoulder. I'd say since you've taken it out twice this is the path you're heading for. You might be in luck. Since its only been twice tons and tons of muscle building might save you from surgery. I was a lost cause since it had been 4-5 years of frequent disloations probably adding up to several hundred dislocations.
Good luck with your injury