deep thoughts: by Jack Handy

newkid900

newkid900

Member
post deep thoughts. Example, theres alot to be thankful for, for instance im thankful that wrinkles don't hurt.

I pitty the fool who don't use 1-800 Collect.
 
Let's all be thankful that we have the option to eat or not to eat. Some people have calories pumped into them against their will. AND THAT'S JUST WRONG.

A moment is the most you can ever expect from perfection.
 
when your in a war, you should throw those little baby pumkins at your enemy. then, they will look at then and realize how stupid war really is. thats your time to throw a real granade at them

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'Pro - peagna? What the fuck is that?' - my friend looking at my Propaganda DvD (he's not to bright)

skiers get head

snowboarders get ass
 
i once had a little wooden toy boat that my uncle gave me. he took it and whittled me a littler toy boat. it was good except it had whittle marks and it wasnt painted.

 
damn guys those make me reflect on my own life and see stuff in a new way.

I like my boots like i like my women, rear entry.

'Get that shit outta my ass nigga!' - skipimp_ when he wrestled his dad.
 
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: 'Mankind'. Basically, it's made up of two separate words - 'mank' and 'ind'. What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say. 'That's dynamite, baby.'

- I ain't never been to Seasame Street, but i can flip a Big Bird....BACOOOOOOCK!!! -
 
one day i picked up my nephew and told him we were going to disneyland but instead i drove him to a bunrt down wharehouse. he cried and then i was going to take him to the real one but it was getting late.

i just remember that one didnt look it up to get hte exact words so it could be wrong

rastafarians believe ronald reagan was the anti-christ

 
have you guys heard about those new ultra sensitive condoms??

when you are done, they stick around and talk to the chick. Hahahahahahahahaha

 
I once told a little girl that when it rained, it meant god was crying. When she asked why he was crying, I told her, probably because of something you did.

 
i used to think whenever something bad happened to me it was because god was punishing me.

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I'd do anything to get on Tanner....

That Mikael boy is a rather good skier....

'go huck yourself off a two foot cliff!!'

'Teacher! Lisa is trying to tip my Kayak over!!!' - ME.. at kayaking lessons
 
I think that everyones penis should be the same size...that would emiminate discrimanation

Hey yo im bringin it down with the sick boyz crew

The ill urban jibs is what we do

Im addicted to ClodHoppers.....
 
if you ever drop you car keys into a volacano, don't go after them, there gone.

I pitty the fool who don't use 1-800 Collect.
 
kids, remember this -

wherever you go, there you are.

______________

seth

Fairygirl: Why must you be so damn good looking? Why?? lol

nipe: Thats right Diabhal, because we're skiers
 
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