dead baby jokes...!

Ghst

Ghst

Active member
im having trouble finding good ones,post your favourite for me to enjoy.

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Some say her voice is as beautiful as the sirens from ancient lore, those of us who arent tone deaf just say she sounds like a cat and a broomstick mating.
-aggro_sk8 on ashlee simpson

some people call me the space cowboy
some call me the gangster of love
some people call me scooter kid (woaw waow)
 
What stares at the mirror and shrinks every second?

A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler...

Whats better that a 10 babies stapled to a tree?

1 baby stapled to 10 trees

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
whats red and banging on the door?

dead baby in the micro wave

whats the difference between a cadilac and a 5,000 dead babies?

i don't have a cadilac in my garage ( there are tons like that one)

Member # 1787

'this kids a total tool.... the only reason he gets to 'ski, skate and blaze cron with josh and tj' are bc they make him suck their cocks for companionship on the slopes..'
- ATLANTASKI
 
what's the difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a baby?

I don't wear ski boots when I jump on the tramp

_______________________

don't take me for a joke, i'm no comedian. too many mental problems got me snortin' coke and smokin' weed again.

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no doubt, sit back on the couch, pants down, rubber on, set to turn that ass out. Laid the bitch out, then i put it in her mouth, pulled out, nutted on a towel, then passed out.
 
how do you make a dead baby float?

a glass of root beer and two dead babies.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a BMW?

I don't have a BMW in my garage.

whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?

one dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

 
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It all depends on how hard you throw them.

All of rubin's cards were marked in advance

The trial was a pig-circus, he never had a chance.

The judge made rubin's witnesses drunkards from the slums

To the white folks who watched he was a revolutionary bum

And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger.

No one doubted that he pulled the trigger.

And though they could not produce the gun,

The d.a. said he was the one who did the deed

And the all-white jury agreed.
 
whats the fastest way to get a pile of dead babies into your car? -snowblower

How do you make a 7 year old girl cry? wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear...

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When your not sure about something, just HUCK IT!
 
hahaha ooo you guys are such bastards

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not -kurt cobain

**NWFT**
 
What's the only thing funnier than a dead baby?

-a dead baby in a clown suit.



capital city rider / dfp

...feel the rush
 
wat is red and blue and at the bottom of my pool?

a baby with his water wings cut open.

wat is red and green and at the bottom of my pool?

the same baby three weeks later.

 
how do you make a dead baby float?

one pint of root bear, vanilla ice cream, and 2 scoops of dead baby

Five-9 Media
 
whats the difference between a pile of usless shit and a pile of dead babies.-i dont have a pile of usless shit in my garage.

ski for life-Tanner Hall

 
whats worse than one dead baby stapled to a tree?

one dead baby stapled to ten trees!

If you rape a hooker, is it shoplifting?

 
What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?

you cant fuck a rock.

What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

you can't take the bowling balls out with a pitchfork.

What's another word for Thesaurus?
 
Whats the diffrence between a wattermellon and a dead baby?

Ones fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the others a wattermellon.

Whats harder than nailing a baby to a tree?

Nailing it to a puppy.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography

'I hope you get hit by a neon'
'just make sure all the Jewish kids have rides'
'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'My penis is like a hockey stick, its always got game if you know how to handle it'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
 
Whats the difference between babies and moose?

I brake for moose.

Whats red, pink, and changes lanes?

A baby tied to the back of my pickup truck.

Canada can't afford snow- Ice-is-Scary
I like it when the red water comes out.
 
whats the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead baby on the road?

theres ten feet of skid marks before the dog....

-i made that one up myself usually its a black person

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When your not sure about something, just HUCK IT!
 
What is the best way to get a dead baby out of a blender?

With tortilla chips.

_____________________________________

Andrew Franklin

Dope.
 
whats the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby

you take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline

 
How do you get a baby out of a tree?

You give someone a stick and tell him it's a penata!

 
this on is bad really bad. If you find these at all offencive, do not read this one. please and thankyou.

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?

To see the expression on its face when you turn it on.

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography

'I hope you get hit by a neon'
'just make sure all the Jewish kids have rides'
'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'My penis is like a hockey stick, its always got game if you know how to handle it'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
 
apple that one has been said like 5 times already... How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb... It depends how big the pile is...

i made that one up myself

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When your not sure about something, just HUCK IT!
 
^ive heard it before

'Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that' - Ol' Drippy
 
if you say this one with a straight face its hilarious

whats the difference between a dead baby and a brick?

now get all serious and look em in the eye

i dont fuck bricks

i dont know if that ones been said allready but heres one more

whats the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?

you cant unload bowling balls with a pitch fork

 
How do you make a baby girl cry twice?

Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear



reppin' the heartagram
capital city rider / dfp

...feel the rush
 
^ that didn't count, but I find that one hilarious. Here's some real ones:-

How do you spoil a baby?

-Leave it out in the sun.

What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?

-A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?

-Cancer.

How are babies and the elderly alike?

-Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?

-A baby tied to the back of a truck.

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?

-You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter



reppin' the heartagram
capital city rider / dfp

...feel the rush
 
really? i didnt see it...

Like a virgin on promnight!

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography

'I hope you get hit by a neon'
'just make sure all the Jewish kids have rides'
'naahhmahhnahhhahhh ... i mean ... the weekend of monday'
'My penis is like a hockey stick, its always got game if you know how to handle it'
'Go down to the bottom bunk and finish it yourself'
 
uhhh yeah i didn't see it either. why are people posting the same jokes twice?

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triple it triple it trip-le-it 1! brrrrrrr cha cha cha cha cha cha cha

ba-dum-ching!
 
Whats the difference between a dead dog in the middle of the road and a dead baby in the middle of the road?

The dog has skid marks leading up to it...

Jazz flutes are for little fairy boys
 
i just said that except mine was better and you just copied it you asshole

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When your not sure about something, just HUCK IT!
 
fuck you guys. i got all excited to share my dead baby jokes. my dreams were crushed when i found that they've all been said... crushed like a baby's head under the wheel of my pick up.

-katie
 
haha yeah that happened to me too

Its only for decoration thats it and thats all

What goes on in the gondala stays in the gondala
 
Whats Red and Screaming?

-a baby chewing on razor blades(picture that)

Whats white and red and screaming?

-A baby cut up in a garbage bag filled with salt

Whats between my car and a baby

-A rope

Why did the baby cross the road?

-So i could run it down and eat the remains for dinner

Whats the difference between a baby and a chicken?

-I dont skin a chicken before i cook it

Whats the difference between a pumpkin and a baby?

-I didnt carve a pumpkin last year for halloween

word

I Heart Skiing
 
Bahahaha, baby lanterns!

----2ond in Command of DANSA-----

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.

GW Award December 3, 2004
 
how do u get 100 babies into a telephone booth?-blender

how dou get 100 babies out of a telephone booth?-tortilla chips

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i have respect for musical artists who are MUSICAL...not people who lip synch. minus britney spears cuz her concert was the shit.-SnowKristaL
 
how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? you laik its other hand to the ground

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown costume!

What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?

Bob

 
why did marilyn masin stop throwing puppies into the crowd and start throwing babies?

because someone thought that the puppies looked cute

East Coast of the West Coast
 
if you just hit fuckin typed 'dead baby' in the search bar and took 5 seconds out of your goddamn life, you'd see a dead baby joke thread already exsists you silly assbag.

i like apple and lanks and skibum_ and lucyford and dfresh and d-rocket and cko and nopoles and gustle and caden and mikee and wrightgirl and missy and jessbuff and seanpistol and doc.dre and dynstrtm and schweitzerski and katesd and lateralis and *jay* and t-schill and *pinkgrinder* and shorty_t and jib_tech and niwanyshyn and ever_murky and nsnski240 and the rest of you are a-holes. smiles :)) :)):): ):) :)): :):):)) ):)):)
 
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