Dads are the original hipsters

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Your dad was into shooting shit before you were and he has the gunpowder residue on his hands to prove it. Nothing says “I’m going to tear some shit up” like a pistol fully loaded with anarchy and aimed at the heart of fun. But, that was back when a man could eat a bag of shrooms and wander off into the mountains for a night of rage fist terror tripping. The gun was a necessity for him, because without it, he couldn’t kill the illusions that chased him through the hills.

So hipsters, next time you’re eye fucking an iron sight at the shooting range, acting like your whiskey steel tough, remember this…

Your dad’s trip induced adventures in the wilderness are why the seven day waiting period was established.
 
Dude I'm guessing by the decor, eight track/record player, and whole premise of the website, that this picture isn't current. That dude in the pic is easily 50 or 60 by now, so if you know someone 30 it's probably not this guy.

Also, nobody cool ever owned an energy drink company.
 
do not believe that. If he was in his early 30's he would be a teenager in the 90's. That photo was taken in the 80's at the very latest.
 
80's my ass, look at those pull tab beer cans, the rack of legit vinyl, and and do I spy a twelve string guitar.......no way is that pic any fresher than 1973 I'm guessing.

Kids still a moron though so good catch there.

energy drink company.....go play outside junior.
 
Cause you are obviously semi retarted. The whole website is devoted to OLD pictures.

Anywho, I'm just fucking with you, no I don't have sand in my vagina, and I'm not honestly picking on you, just having a little fun at you mistake to realize something that obvious.

Also I'm pretty sure that TV has rabbit ears.

Settle down kids

But really you should go play outside and learn some problem solving skills or something cause life can be a bitch and you seem ill prepared.
 
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Your dad didn’t give a fuck before you did. He smoked, drank, fucked, fought, and pissed into the wind of life. Then one night, while jacked on mescaline, he screwed your mom. It was just supposed to be one night. But, that tryst became bastardized when you were conceived from it. Your dad had to settle down. So hipsters, next time you’re out drinking on a Tuesday night or biking without a helmet, remember you’re the bastard love baby of your dad’s not giving a fuck attitude.
 
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