Crazy People where you live

G

gmack24

Active member
ya so nothings funnier than the typical weirdo/crazy person in your city/town... anyone have any stories to tell?

where i live theres this homeless guy who's always drinking listerine and alcohol and shit, he always yells to himself and points his finger like a gun and "shoots" at his apparent halucinations... another lady goes around taking pictures of you (for no reason) and says shes goign to call the fbi

 
there once was a man named charlie he liked to ride motorcycles, he had a harley. one night he was out on a ride, he hit a animal and it died. he kept on riding his bike, he rolled into town and was met by a dyke.

-PAT-
 
there once was a man named charlie he liked to ride motorcycles, he had a harley. one night he was out on a ride, he hit a animal and it died. he kept on riding his bike, he rolled into town and was met by a dyke.

-PAT-
 
the bums downtown are awesome. there was the one dude, where i rickshawed, that used to come and annoy us all the time. he was kinda old, and acted as if he was semi-retarded too, and one day he said he made a joke, unfortunately i cant remember what it was, but it was hilarious. something about young girls and liking him or something, i dunno. joel, feel free to step in and take over, heheh. there were some damn funny times rickshawing, i just cant really remember any that involved crazy guys. oh wait, except for when one of the buskers was making fun of a retarded bum woman and said 'she's the kind of girl that passes out in the field and all the other bums come and spunk her one after the other' ahhahahahaha. that guy was the man.

i love apple, lanks, skibum_, lucyford, dfresh, d-rocket, cko, nopoles, gustle, spokaneskier, plumpwonton, melvs, caden, freeskigrl24, mikee, wrightgirl, missy, jessbuff, seanpistol, doc.dre, dynstrtm, Spyderxtra789, skibrdingbitch, schweitzerski, hey_cutie, almostaskiier, katesd, lateralis, eastcoastpride, ekunz, $bhill$, *jay*, t-schill, *pinkgrinder*, J.D._May, shorty_t, jib_tech, niwanyshyn, ever_murky, nsnski240 and the rest of you are a-holes. smiles :)) :)):): )):): :):))): :) :))
 
We have a lady in our town called Honk. There is some crazy story about her parents dying in a car crash and her dad died with his head on the horn which made a Honk sound for super long. But she is nuts and loves dinosaurs and calls all the black kids niggers. She rides around in one of those bikes with the basket in front and she loads the basket with ammo (old shoes, bottles, rocks) and she uses these when people yell Honk! at her. Shes been around since our parents were little its crazy.

 
this crazy girl that lives next door from me walks her cat everyday

High north session 3
 
there is a bum that goes to my church that told me "The state wouldn't give me a teaching license because I have a beard."

he lives in a tent made out of pants and a tarp on a hill outside of town

V-TOWN Bitches!
 
we have a guy here that everyone calls speedo man. he rides his bike around in the summer wearing only a speedo. i guess hes not right in the head and he was in jail for a while but there is rumors he got money from speedo because its advertising

------------------------------------

Yeah
saran wrap and a couple of rubber bands and your set for some steamy hot, safe sex action. -Mike-O

im not crazy 'cause i take the right pills everyday
 
theres this guy backwards bob.. he just walks around with this really dirty bag.... comes into the grocery store all the time tho... im the only cashier he will go to, and he wont talk to anyone else.. kinda wierds me out...

 
you mean sponscored (hehe)

my friend told me he punches one out into his hand and throws it (load) at his chicks face and yells "yahtzee!" no lie.-couchskier

is sucking your own dick considered masturbation or self inflicted fellatio?

who else but Lat^

*NS Skateboarders*
 
i had a crack addict talk to me for an hour while i was at work. he told me all about the sicilian civil wars, cello and why newspaper paper sucks.

---------------------
-

Good Fun With A Hand Gun

Sacadelic
 
there a dude in our town, his name is Kenny. he walks down the street in a bright yellow jacket and his headphones(the only cd he listens to is the Monkees greatest hits), waving and pumping his arms in the air. every once and a while, he'll look up at the sky, point, and just fucking holler away, not saying anything discernable. and if you honk at him, he gets so stoked. he just points at you and screams. hilarious.

"You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just gonna ask them where they're going, and hook up with them later."

R.I.P. Mitch Hedberg
 
yea i know i just like using all the variations because people always get pissed off when they spell shit wrong

have a nice day :)

 
the lady who lives behind me has a mustache.

a male gynocologist is like an auto machanic who doesnt own a car
 
there is a guy who walks down my street EVERY DAY at 8 o'clock. He walks down to the drug dealers house down the street, and When he comes back at around 9 o'clock, he's doing kung foo. We call him jesus.

V-TOWN Bitches!
 
there was this bum named Ben who came to my school the other day. He was riding a tricycle, it was a specializedbike and it had a front suspension and stuff too. he went looking through all the trash cans outside looking for bottles and cans, then hed put them in his box on the back of the trike. we were like "have u taken that off any sweet jumps?" he said "no, the biggest ive jumped off is the curb, but then i rolled my bike on the road". then we told him that he should get some music for his bike, like the ice cream man. he said then he wouldnt be able to pedal slow enough, and that he might not be able to stay on the ground! then he got all serious and started talking bout how he wishes that he was 15 again, and to enjoy the beutufil day cuz well never live it again. it was graet

-------------------------------------
What good are snowblades anyways???
'Well, you could wear them in the parking lot to protect your boots'-Veteran
 
^ you shouldn't be mean to bums... I heard a story about a kid who made fun of a bum once... the bum touched him and he got aids and died.

V-TOWN Bitches!
 
well there is Dr. Mask...he is an actual medical doctor. but in his spare time he puts on his surgical mask, and a pair of red cowboy boots, and he rides his bike around the market in ottawa with no hands making loud whistling noises and crazy hand gestures. he was interviewed by a local paper, and he said that some people like to spend their spare time watching sports or movies...well he does what he does for the same reason. wierd.

and justin, that dude youre talking about, he told us to start a band called jumpin jimmy and the rickshaw band. haha, what a nut. and the sexual joke he cracked was that he always liked to be on top. on top of what...only he knows.

-Joel

~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~
Capital City Rider, DFP
Silent Army

'Everybody calls me a zero. But I'm an internet hero.'
 
a guy walks along the highway all day picking up bottles and trash, and hes always at all of my schools spoting events. He doesnt shower, or change clothes, but he has a car and doesnt drive it and lives in an apartment

A hand jobs a mans job, yo jobs a blow job
 
i used to lifeguard at the city beach where i live and every year around the 4th of july, there would be this carnival that would come to town. they just happened to set up across the street where we'd park our cars. anyway, they would come and bathe themselves in the beach area and we'd hafta kick em out. so they went to the boat landing farther down the coastline...thye'd also try to catch dinner, if you know what i mean....

"Hey guys, Chad fell down."
 
some of these are great, i saw some real messed up people wen i went to canada, some lady was like yellin at my dad it was hilarious n she was liek recitin the bible or somthin it was so weird n under a bridge there were homeless epople that wanted money n they asked my dad n he told em hed give em $5000

 
My uncle with no right foot held up a pizza delivery man with a shotgun, does that count?

----RIP Signature------
 
According to lanks, there is also a dude in Ottawa on Rideau street that gives you mushrooms in exchange for warm cooked bacon!

I should clarify that the mushrooms are the one's that make you trip - in case anyone goes, "Mushrooms for bacon? Why don't you just go to the grocery store and get the mushrooms yourself?"

'I like long walks on the beach...sipping champagne by the fire...gutting dear... (Tweaks_Rock_me)

"Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks." (Skierman)
 
ya, a couple years ago i was down here on the comp and my mom told me to get off the internet cus the cops are calling...i asked why and shes like theres a crazy guy running around the house, so i shut off the comp and went upstairs... I go to where my dad is by the door, and all of a sudden this guy is knocking on the door fucking yelling that his mother poisoned him and was gonna kill his brother, it was the first snow of the year also, and he was in socks. He then began rolling around in the snow and tackled a snowmon my brother had made earlier in the door..it was a little freaky.. A couple minutes later we had a state cop, game warder and town cop in my drive...It was nuts......The guy was nuts as well

'Ever been hit in the head with a golf ball?'

-JF Cusson, making the argument that golf is an extreme sport

 
we have this little place across the street called AMHI. that's short foe Augusta Mental Health Institution

Enough said

--------

Ski. Eat. Sex. Sleep. Ski. What else is there?
 
i got that info from skipimp_.

-Joel

~Phunkin Phatt Phreerider~
Capital City Rider, DFP
Silent Army

'Everybody calls me a zero. But I'm an internet hero.'
 
we have this 2 old women who goes with their hounds in my area, at the same time each day. We started calling them stuff like "butter womens", just meaningless things. we started yelling it to them, and they start swearing back to us, then sending their dogs after us, so fun but scary :p

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top