Craziest lie you have ever pulled off

one time i convinced this random kid at my pool that i was a well known professional skier
 
Wasn't me, but a couple kids on a race team were heading back home after a camp in the states. It was about a 5hr drive back to the border from the mountain, and somewhere there one of the guys lost his passport. Given how it would be impossible to find the passport on 5 hours of highway and the entire team had to be home that night, options were limited. The coach decided to get creative. The van, as per racer norm, had all the skis stored in ski bags on the top. The passportless guy removed the skis from one, climbed in to a ski bag, and the van started towards the border. After a 30min that must of been terrifying, the van made it though singlehandedly defeating american border security with nothing but a body shaped bag.

No wonder you have problems with Mexicans.
 
So me and my friend are in the back seat of a 4runner and this kid and his dad is in the front (dad driving obviously). We were on our way back from a small church trip to the boundary waters canoe area. We stop at the gas station, I go in and get some Orbit gum. The kid in the front seat (who I don't like very much) asks me for a piece of gum. I convinced both the kid and the dad, that I cant give them a piece of my precious Orbit gum because one day it will be worth a lot of money, and that I was saving it until that time. While I was explaining all this to the dad and the kid, I am throwing a wrapper in my pocket and a piece of gum in my mouth and handing one to my friend sitting next to me. I haven't seen the kid or his dad since that trip.
 
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pretty lame, apart from the obvious and mandatory acting like this thread about crazy lies was legit, i havent really done too much. for REAL lies, i am way too honest and not badass enough.

"best" one was probably telling a pretty ugly girl at a bar that was all over us like a dozen lies, starting from how old we are, our names, our occupation and every smaller one lead to another, bigger one and so on. everything made up on the spot, was fun as shit, although definitely not spectactular in the meaning of this thread.

 
It's illegal to count cards period. Some dumbasses try to use things to count cards for them (smartphone apps and such) and they get caught. But if you're counting in your head, no one can really prove that you're counting, can they.
 
there is a difference between things being "illegal" and "not accepted" by a private institution especially. i am pretty sure that its the second thing for card counting.

they can kick you out if they see by your actions/betting that youre most likely counting cards. i bet that they have some systems that detect that automatically and then someone goes to check it out in person.

a casino as a private company can deny you the right to participate in their games when you dont play according to the rules. so as long as they are concerned, counting cards is not allowed and they kick you out, but its more like a private decision (like a supermarket doesnt have to sell you stuff), like they wont let you play without a suit/tuxedo. pretty much the same thing.
 
Yes they can happened to my dad about 25 years ago here's how you bet when you count. 5$ 5$ 5$ 5$ 120$ 5$ 5$ 5$ 5$ 5$ 200$ they told him to cash his money and leave. But now adays try put 10 decks together you have to be there for 14 hours to get a count.
 
I've never understood why they don't just use say 100 decks, completely eliminate card counting, it's not like they're expensive.
 
oooohh where to start.......no mom im not stoned

no mom there was no drinking

told a bunch of friends that i was moving to nova scotia. they got pretty upset

im a good driver

a favorite of mine: "no im not going to drink at the party" really have to start enforcing that one

not really crazy tho/ im kinda lame

 
Me and two friends were long boarding along lake Superior in Duluth and we stopped for a group of old ladies on the path that we ended up talking to for about 30 minutes in British accents. They were totally sold on us being from Great Brittan, they even tried finding us on Facebook.
 
I told the guy at the bowling alley that my name was Dick so it was up on the big screen and it was lolz;)
 
As was said, they catch you by watching how you vary your bets, which is why the MIT system was relatively successful. There are various methods to it, all with various pros and cons (accuracy, difficulty, etc.). Also, counting cards is NOT illegal in the US. You may be kicked out, but the days of dragging people into the back are gone. In fact, in Atlantic City, you can't be kicked out even if they know you are counting cards. They can make it difficult for you by shuffling after every hand, but they can't even kick you out. As far as the smartphone app, I have used one to practice, but I've never seen anyone try to use one, and it is illegal/considered cheating to use a device. Counting to yourself is a form of strategy. If you think about it, if there are a lot more low cards than high cards at the start of a shoe, then you know there have to be more high cards towards the end, so it is more likely that you will get a blackjack. Counting cards simply involves paying more attention to this.
 
i have so many that i cant tell. however, when i was in 8th grade me and some friends were drinking at the park. some dude walking his dog walked over and was like watch ya got there we were like apple juices and orange juice he was like nicccceeeeee. u just got trolld
 
Back in America I went to a party where I only knew 1 friend and I posed as his Italian cousin cuz I'm fluent in Italian. Got mad bitches it was super funny
 
Had 3 types of camo paint.Told my friend how it worked.

He believed that the paint came out camouflage.

 
i had nothing to hide and cops love it when you are an 18 year old saying "no you cannot search my car" they will totally think you are clean
 
Im sponsered by atomic, it was funny because everyone had seen mwe ski and im not that good

 
no, but they could (idk how its in the US, but around here totally possible) check all these safety things a little more thorough than normal. and obviously they will find something
 
That was the perfect part, it was a replica of my austrian visa, aka I actually lived there for a year and can speak fluent german, plus the city on my visa I could tell them whatever they needed to know about it. It was win win situation!
 
I got sent on a boring 2 week course from work and after 2 days I knew I wasn't going to go back but I needed an excuse to get out of it. I knew that I couldn't just call in sick so the next day, I bought some plaster of paris and put my own arm in a cast. I called work and said I'd broken my wrist the previous evening whilst playing football. Then I went to the Dr's and told him I'd broken my wrist and the hospital had put it in a cast. He gave me a Dr's note signing me off work for 4 weeks.

I sent the note in to work, removed the cast and then spent 4 weeks travelling around Europe whilst all my friends and family thought I was working and my work colleagues thought I was sat at home on the sofa.

Still can't believe I pulled it off. And to this day, there are still some places I have to pretend I haven't been to because I visited them during my secret tour of Europe. Thankfully, this all happened in the days before Facebook so I didn't have to worry about getting caught out 'checking in' anywhere!
 
I delivered a 15 minute speech on leadership to a group of 120 high school seniors because I followed the pizza guy into the conference room.

Happened as a senior in college. I just wanted a slice so I followed him in and they confused me with the speaker so I went out there and killed it.

Then I stole five whole pizzas and went home
 
generally most of the encounters i have with people in real life are based on lies, i like to tell the barber crazy stories, its really good for your creativity and public speaking skills.
 
once when i was in 6th grade and i was getting a haircut the lady thought i had an older sister and asked where she was, and i was too flustered to correct her so i just went along with it and eventually ended up telling her about my older sister who was 16 and named martina and was at a party at marthas house...things got pretty awkward when it was my brothers turn next and she asked "hows martina?"
 
i didn't do it..my friend after a girl got pregnant...(she was a slut it coulda been anyone) said he was sterile when she told him about her being prego

i wouldn't do that..but damn i hope that wasn't his kid
 
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