Craigslist...Women are a depreciating asset.

is he the first one to ever negate his golden wheelchair status with a sweet post, thus regaining his dignity?
 
wow that was funny, all the things ive wanted to say to girls for so long sumed up into one statement haha
 


To the gentleman who called me a depreciating asset

Date: 2007-10-11, 8:23AM EDT

Dear Sir,

I must confess that I was somewhat taken aback upon reading your email.

Indeed, it has taken some time for me to sufficiently recuperate from

my surprise. Lest your confidence quickly inflate for little reason (as

we know is the predisposition for Wall St. types), allow me to hasten

to reassure you that the source of my surprise was neither your candor

nor the accuracy of your perception. Indeed, it is your "claimed"

success in light of your poor grasp of economics which has me baffled.

If the standards required to meet with financial success on Wall St.

have sunk so low, perhaps I should indeed "make my own money", except

for the fact that the effort/reward ratio is far too high for my liking

- especially when so many of your ilk have displayed a far more cogent

grasp of market realities than you have.

By now you are likely scratching your ever-vanishing hairline in

confusion, so allow me to elaborate, dear man. To build some

credibility I will tell you a bit more about yourself. Though you did

not mention the details of your occupation, it is clear that you are an

investment banker and not a trader, as any good trader would understand

that human courtships are based upon a semi-efficient open market, and

not an investment banking cartel. However, your inability to grasp the

realities of the dating market is not surprising, given that you have

successfully employed the tools of collusion and market manipulation

rather that true acumen in your supposed wealth generation.

If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego,

you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating

"assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount

rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your

concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s,

advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation.

Thus, with some additional capital expenditure, the overall lifetime of

"outflows" generated by these assets is greatly increased. Sad that

Ashton Kutcher has demonstrated understanding of the female asset class

which you, in all of your financial "wisdom", have not.

You, on the other hand, are, given the uncertainty of the Wall St.

job market, more of an inflation-indexed junk bond with an underwater

nested call option. Though you may argue that you are more of an equity

investment, my monetary minimums required from you do not change, and

if you are unable to pay them, I will liquidate you without the benefit

of a chapter 11, just as you would me.

Because your outflows are so much more uncertain with respect to mine,

I require additional compensation in the form of a underwater nested

call option on your future assets. I say underwater because, even

taking into account the value of your junk bond coupon payment to me,

the value of my "outflow" is in excess of the market price of your

equity (which is quite low due to its riskiness associated with your

poor grasp of finance and my existing claim upon your junk bond

coupon).

I must thank you though for raising the question, despite the

reputation cost of subjecting your weak logic to such widespread

scrutiny. This took either considerable courage or ignorance on your

part- and we'll give you the benefit of doubt, just this once. My

current boyfriend (a trader who lives in Central Park West, of course)

and I thoroughly enjoyed discussing your response and we wish you the

best of luck in your unhappy pursuit of that elusive market

inefficiency.
 
Shes still a bitch and that guy pwned her real bad, maybe she got someone else to write that up for her who knows.
 
oh my goodness hahahahahahahahaha. the best part is that he was classy about it because she said hold the insults. this is so much better. props for sure
 
this is true. my dads partner in office space had a girlfriend that was around 25. he is about 50. i think they broke up though because she couldn't get a long with the guys 18 year old daughter, haha.
 
haha, i love this response, puts that girl in her place and hopefully shows all gold digging girls they need to get a life.

The best part is I interviewed for an Investment Banking position on Wall Street a few weeks ago and the guys who interviewed me were total assholes just like the guy who wrote this.
 
Could she have made it anymore obvious she didn't write that? Also all of that writing basically sums up to I feel your wrong because I can get plastic surgery.
 
despite her response, she still isn't making the kind of money she thinks she should be.....so basically she sucks.

totally pwned.
 
^that...or it can be interpreted as i admit im a huge cunt and you pwned me im a gigantic noob and i will suck your penis if youd like....thats what we all know she was thinking but she obviously got someone to write that
 
I agree she got pwned badly, but she could have written that. I mean it doesn't take much to hammer out an intelligent letter or essay, or another piece of writing. not very hard for someone fairly well read, and with a bit of basic writing experience
 
ok, if she has a boyfriend who lives off Park Ave... why the fuck is she still gold-digging and wouldn't it bother her bf to read her initial post? whatever, bitches like that need to be choked.
 
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