Either get lost in this conversation and follow it through to the end, or hit back on your browser and read the next thread about the guy who did something that was gay and the next 20 posts on how many ways it was gay.
i dont have time to entertain your worthlessness.
your worthlessness to me. not in general.
The Crystal Method says:? (7:58:47 PM)
well hey there
The Crystal Method says:? (7:58:52 PM)
are you famous tey
The Crystal Method says:? (7:58:54 PM)
yet
Morgan says:? (7:59:02 PM)
hi!
Morgan says:? (7:59:04 PM)
not yet
Morgan says:? (7:59:12 PM)
maybe tomorrow
The Crystal Method says:? (7:59:14 PM)
well you should be
Morgan says:? (7:59:16 PM)
how are you?
Morgan says:? (7:59:27 PM)
haha - thanks thats sweet
The Crystal Method says:? (7:59:35 PM)
its been a shitty 2 weeks, ive been really sick, but things are looking up
The Crystal Method says:? (7:59:56 PM)
is that a pic of you?
Morgan says:? (8:00:26 PM)
aww - what was worng?
Morgan says:? (8:00:32 PM)
no audrey hepburn
Morgan says:? (8:00:51 PM)
in a movie - one of my favourites
The Crystal Method says:? (8:00:58 PM)
cool
The Crystal Method says:? (8:01:11 PM)
i had the entire range of sickness
Morgan says:? (8:02:06 PM)
what then?
Morgan says:? (8:02:13 PM)
were you at home?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:02:21 PM)
for half of it
Morgan says:? (8:02:30 PM)
hmm
The Crystal Method says:? (8:02:35 PM)
it started when i got back from costa rica
Morgan says:? (8:04:19 PM)
you were in Costa rica?
Morgan says:? (8:04:31 PM)
why are you just ever the coolest?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:07 PM)
lol, cause i never listen to people
Morgan says:? (8:05:23 PM)
goooood for you
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:24 PM)
y;know when they tell me im not the coolest
Morgan says:? (8:05:26 PM)
thats the key
Morgan says:? (8:05:33 PM)
oh hahaha
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:40 PM)
i just dont have time for critics
Morgan says:? (8:05:42 PM)
I thought you meant you do your own thing
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:51 PM)
i did
Morgan says:? (8:06:18 PM)
poeple are always saying dum things like "costa rica?! you can't afford the time, expenses blabla for that
Waiting for Morgan to accept the file "Yoshimoto - Do What U Du (trentemoller).mp3" (10721 Kb). Transfer time is less than 90 minutes with a 28.8 modem. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Cmd+.) the file transfer.
Morgan says:? (8:06:26 PM)
dont go - stay here in ottawa
The Crystal Method says:? (8:06:26 PM)
i know
Transfer of file "Yoshimoto - Do What U Du (trentemoller).mp3" has been accepted by Morgan. Starting transfer...Cancel
The Crystal Method says:? (8:06:56 PM)
yeah i went there, and now i have a future career buiilding suspended treehouses in the rainforest at a remote rafting lodge
The Crystal Method says:? (8:07:32 PM)
did you ever get my postcard
Morgan says:? (8:07:53 PM)
no : (((
The Crystal Method says:? (8:07:56 PM)
??
Morgan says:? (8:07:58 PM)
post card?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:07:59 PM)
??
Morgan says:? (8:08:05 PM)
from costa rica?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:07 PM)
yeah, i sent it long ago
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:14 PM)
nooooo, long long ago
Morgan says:? (8:08:15 PM)
*jl002no...
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:22 PM)
i sent it to that house where you were a nanny
Morgan says:? (8:08:26 PM)
no
Morgan says:? (8:08:39 PM)
I would have loved it if I had gotten it though
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:43 PM)
oh man, i figured it would get to you..
Morgan says:? (8:08:49 PM)
thank you for the lovely post card*jl001
Morgan says:? (8:09:00 PM)
haha - no they never sent it on
The Crystal Method says:? (8:09:01 PM)
lol, it was lovely..
Morgan says:? (8:09:19 PM)
aww - I bet they've kept it for me
Morgan says:? (8:09:24 PM)
when did you send it?
Morgan says:? (8:09:26 PM)
I'll ask them
Morgan says:? (8:09:32 PM)
want my new address?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:09:46 PM)
it was about a year ago
The Crystal Method says:? (8:09:49 PM)
yeah
Morgan says:? (8:10:08 PM)
Avenue Carnisse
Morgan says:? (8:10:13 PM)
2993 MH
Morgan says:? (8:10:22 PM)
Barendrecht, The Netherlands
Morgan says:? (8:10:38 PM)
then I can actually have the pleasure of recieving my postcards
Morgan says:? (8:11:01 PM)
ok so back to building tree top houses in the rainforest
Morgan says:? (8:11:11 PM)
first of all ... you and your tree houses...
Morgan says:? (8:11:21 PM)
second - that is sooooo cooool
Morgan says:? (8:11:54 PM)
I 've always had a secret wish to live off the fruit of the land, and solar energy in the rainforest canopy
The Crystal Method says:? (8:11:54 PM)
lol
The Crystal Method says:? (8:12:08 PM)
yea, me too, so i decided to do it
Morgan says:? (8:12:13 PM)
and to visit the galapagos islands
Morgan says:? (8:12:19 PM)
I dream about it a lot
The Crystal Method says:? (8:12:27 PM)
i could have when i was in peru
Morgan says:? (8:12:30 PM)
but I don't say this to anyome
Morgan says:? (8:12:35 PM)
really?
Morgan says:? (8:12:37 PM)
wow
The Crystal Method says:? (8:12:37 PM)
but it was too expensive
The Crystal Method says:? (8:13:00 PM)
well, it might be something completely different that what you dream about you know
The Crystal Method says:? (8:13:14 PM)
at least the image is safe in a dream
Sending of "Yoshimoto - Do What U Du (trentemoller).mp3" to Morgan has failed.
The Crystal Method says:? (8:13:43 PM)
nooooo
Morgan says:? (8:14:14 PM)
whyyy
The Crystal Method says:? (8:14:19 PM)
??
The Crystal Method says:? (8:14:25 PM)
what email can i send it to
Morgan says:? (8:14:26 PM)
it's true
Morgan says:? (8:14:41 PM)
but I'm living several of my dreams out now
The Crystal Method says:? (8:14:50 PM)
right on
Morgan says:? (8:14:54 PM)
and it feels as good as the dream
Morgan says:? (8:15:04 PM)
well at moments.
The Crystal Method says:? (8:15:06 PM)
xxxcelent
Morgan says:? (8:15:08 PM)
sometimes even better
Morgan says:? (8:15:18 PM)
morganzara@gmail.com
Morgan says:? (8:15:26 PM)
or you can try to send it again
The Crystal Method says:? (8:15:50 PM)
well, a dream is something you havent attained right, so not having dreams means youre either living them, or youre suicidal
Morgan says:? (8:17:00 PM)
hahah - welll... I don't know
Morgan says:? (8:17:04 PM)
if I agree
Morgan says:? (8:17:13 PM)
what is next for you?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:18:55 PM)
raft guide in jasper
Morgan says:? (8:20:28 PM)
fun
The Crystal Method says:? (8:20:30 PM)
Well the point is there are people who think that knowing what you want and going and getting it eliminates the dream, because youre realizing them. you dont listen to people who try and cut you down, because by the time theyve stopped talking, youve created another masterpiece
Morgan says:? (8:21:01 PM)
haha - are those your words or someone elses?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:17 PM)
im just working on gettin my schooling under control while staying healthy
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:19 PM)
mine
Morgan says:? (8:21:34 PM)
I think some of the things you say will become "old canadian proverbs" one day
Morgan says:? (8:21:44 PM)
well - take your time
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:47 PM)
as long as i can make some money off them
Morgan says:? (8:21:52 PM)
if your sick your sick
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:53 PM)
thats be nice
Morgan says:? (8:22:00 PM)
haha - ok deal
The Crystal Method says:? (8:22:00 PM)
true
Morgan says:? (8:22:06 PM)
you get all the IP rights
The Crystal Method says:? (8:22:12 PM)
solid
Morgan says:? (8:22:53 PM)
tutle
The Crystal Method says:? (8:23:15 PM)
hm. i dont know what to make out of that word..
Morgan says:? (8:23:33 PM)
what word?
Morgan says:? (8:23:46 PM)
it's a ninja turtle!
Morgan says:? (8:23:52 PM)
can't you see him?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:23:58 PM)
i cant see any of your fancy images
The Crystal Method says:? (8:24:09 PM)
no, they screwed mac messenger
The Crystal Method says:? (8:24:19 PM)
i just bought a powerbook g4
Morgan says:? (8:24:24 PM)
that's not so nice
Morgan says:? (8:24:38 PM)
you should comment about that to Mike
The Crystal Method says:? (8:24:47 PM)
mike
Morgan says:? (8:24:48 PM)
ohh nice
Morgan says:? (8:25:02 PM)
MikeApple isnt it?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:25:03 PM)
what
The Crystal Method says:? (8:25:08 PM)
i dont know
Morgan says:? (8:25:14 PM)
the owner and starter of Mac
The Crystal Method says:? (8:25:57 PM)
i dont know. is his last name really apple?
Morgan says:? (8:26:01 PM)
I was half joking - like write him a letter that his computers cant perform the simplest of tasks like displaying fun msn icons
Morgan says:? (8:26:12 PM)
ya - I think thats why its called apple
The Crystal Method says:? (8:26:14 PM)
bill gates was the co founder of apple
The Crystal Method says:? (8:26:17 PM)
but he left
The Crystal Method says:? (8:26:45 PM)
its microsoft software
The Crystal Method says:? (8:27:38 PM)
so what does your average day look like
Morgan says:? (8:28:14 PM)
nope can't find anything on it just look up who started up the company
Morgan says:? (8:28:30 PM)
co founder with who though?
Morgan says:? (8:28:41 PM)
I know but what was the name of the other guy?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:21 PM)
I dunno
Morgan says:? (8:29:22 PM)
and I'm aware that its ms software. and the computers are now faster cause of intel pentium processors or something?
Morgan says:? (8:29:25 PM)
I here
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:29 PM)
yes
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:36 PM)
youre on top of it
Morgan says:? (8:29:41 PM)
an average day any time of the year is rainy and chilly
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:57 PM)
www.freespiritspheres.com
Morgan says:? (8:29:59 PM)
is that what you mean? or what do I do on these rainy days..?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:30:34 PM)
i hope to be helping him build there for installation in select rainforest operations, ending of course, with mine on the west coast
The Crystal Method says:? (8:30:45 PM)
What do you do on those rainy days
The Crystal Method says:? (8:31:38 PM)
the computer and my trip to CR cost me 4 k.
Morgan says:? (8:31:47 PM)
let me have a look at this link...
The Crystal Method says:? (8:31:54 PM)
yes, please do
The Crystal Method says:? (8:31:58 PM)
and check your email
The Crystal Method says:? (8:32:03 PM)
and blast those tunes
Morgan says:? (8:33:02 PM)
ok - I have a new phone -i can play them on that
Morgan says:? (8:33:28 PM)
The concept (of the houses) is interesting
Morgan says:? (8:33:30 PM)
very
Morgan says:? (8:33:38 PM)
4 k!!
Morgan says:? (8:33:42 PM)
!
Morgan says:? (8:33:47 PM)
wow
The Crystal Method says:? (8:35:39 PM)
i think thats just for the plans
The Crystal Method says:? (8:35:51 PM)
wait
The Crystal Method says:? (8:35:59 PM)
yes, 4 k for my stuff
Morgan says:? (8:36:39 PM)
that's a lot
The Crystal Method says:? (8:36:44 PM)
the concept is faciniating. its represents a new sustainable symbiosis with nature. its what needs to happen, quickly
Morgan says:? (8:37:35 PM)
it's so good to hear someone say that. I feel guilty that I don't DO something about the way I feel about the situation
Morgan says:? (8:37:51 PM)
but it's a great concept
Morgan says:? (8:38:16 PM)
beautiful and practical
Morgan says:? (8:38:26 PM)
a normal day for me:
The Crystal Method says:? (8:38:36 PM)
simplicity is sacred
The Crystal Method says:? (8:38:53 PM)
are you rockin to the beats yet
Morgan says:? (8:38:56 PM)
beautifully put
Morgan says:? (8:39:09 PM)
not yet.. hold on
The Crystal Method says:? (8:39:22 PM)
im listening to fred everything right now
The Crystal Method says:? (8:39:26 PM)
its the first email
Morgan says:? (8:44:35 PM)
I'm listening to it now
The Crystal Method says:? (8:44:40 PM)
sweet
Morgan says:? (8:44:51 PM)
i know this
The Crystal Method says:? (8:44:55 PM)
do you
Morgan says:? (8:45:12 PM)
oh ya
The Crystal Method says:? (8:45:15 PM)
youre the first person ive met who does
The Crystal Method says:? (8:45:24 PM)
but then again, you are in euroupe
Morgan says:? (8:46:02 PM)
haha - no I think already for a few weeks/months its been on late on the radio
The Crystal Method says:? (8:46:18 PM)
hm. interesting
Morgan says:? (8:46:35 PM)
true true europe has very different taste in music than canada
Morgan says:? (8:47:02 PM)
I put on the other one
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:03 PM)
better in my opinion
Morgan says:? (8:47:08 PM)
mine too
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:27 PM)
is it at full volume
Morgan says:? (8:47:29 PM)
I really liek the music here / there is always somehting on the radio here
Morgan says:? (8:47:33 PM)
not in canada
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:34 PM)
no matter whose listening
Morgan says:? (8:47:42 PM)
of course!
Morgan says:? (8:47:44 PM)
its on full
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:50 PM)
the radio is a dirty word here
Morgan says:? (8:48:22 PM)
haha like `aww radio ? crap"
The Crystal Method says:? (8:49:07 PM)
yes, like "r****, turn that shit off before my ears start bleeding etracellular fluid"
The Crystal Method says:? (8:49:50 PM)
if i hear creed one more time, im going to find out where they live and burn their house down
The Crystal Method says:? (8:50:00 PM)
but you didnt hear that from me
Morgan says:? (8:50:52 PM)
haha - creed?! are you joking?
Morgan says:? (8:51:04 PM)
f*%$#ckinh crap
Morgan says:? (8:51:06 PM)
sorry
Morgan says:? (8:51:13 PM)
but really - I mean come on
Morgan says:? (8:51:23 PM)
yuck
Morgan says:? (8:51:29 PM)
I like this second song
The Crystal Method says:? (8:51:31 PM)
what, you like creed?
Morgan says:? (8:51:33 PM)
its good
Morgan says:? (8:51:53 PM)
no - I said its crap
The Crystal Method says:? (8:52:01 PM)
lol, i know
Morgan says:? (8:52:09 PM)
actually I said creed was f*$#cking crap
Morgan says:? (8:52:18 PM)
no I liek the song you sent me
The Crystal Method says:? (8:52:28 PM)
ya, i follow
Morgan says:? (8:52:31 PM)
fr Yoshimoto
The Crystal Method says:? (8:52:37 PM)
good
Morgan says:? (8:52:57 PM)
they have the coolest musick videos here too for the music
The Crystal Method says:? (8:53:02 PM)
ya?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:53:07 PM)
i dont have a tv
Morgan says:? (8:54:24 PM)
good for you
Morgan says:? (8:54:31 PM)
tv is very very very unhealthy
Morgan says:? (8:54:34 PM)
really
The Crystal Method says:? (8:54:40 PM)
yes, agreed
Morgan says:? (8:54:47 PM)
it's all brainwash
Morgan says:? (8:54:50 PM)
really it is
The Crystal Method says:? (8:54:50 PM)
i have lots of movies though
Morgan says:? (8:54:59 PM)
its amazing that people dont realize it
Morgan says:? (8:55:26 PM)
I watch it - but at least I m aware I'm being pumped full of propaganda
The Crystal Method says:? (8:56:36 PM)
you know whats been amazing me lately? is how little people change. its hitting me more and more, especially when i talk to older people, and i can see what kind of person they were when they were young, and how their beliefs havent changed. its almost as if they have an exact moment they made a decision about something and never questioned it again.
The Crystal Method says:? (8:57:00 PM)
being aware is almost the only thing you can do, unfortunately
Morgan says:? (8:57:11 PM)
it true what you say
Morgan says:? (8:57:19 PM)
thats true
Morgan says:? (8:57:30 PM)
my dad is so good at cathcing me on it
Morgan says:? (8:57:40 PM)
i'll go ranting about hamas or something
The Crystal Method says:? (8:58:01 PM)
ya, i only have myself to catch myself, im getting really good at it
Morgan says:? (8:58:11 PM)
and he'll catch me - but morgan - do youreally know anything about hama?
Morgan says:? (8:58:22 PM)
thats very good of you
Morgan says:? (8:58:31 PM)
self sufficient
The Crystal Method says:? (8:58:32 PM)
well, ranting is good, because it gets your thoughts out there for someone else to improve upon, or change, you just have to be open for the input
The Crystal Method says:? (8:59:09 PM)
the problematic people are the ones who broadcast, but dont register feedback
The Crystal Method says:? (8:59:26 PM)
those are a red flag for me
The Crystal Method says:? (8:59:45 PM)
so many dangerous people out there, waiting to suck you into their world
The Crystal Method says:? (9:00:42 PM)
everyone needs other people to agree with them, and they (we) cant be satisfied, we need more people to agree, more and more.... until be believe we are right and have the answer. so dangerous
Morgan says:? (9:01:05 PM)
I have a really open point of view on most things - i like to be challenged and to hear differnet view points on the same story
Morgan says:? (9:01:46 PM)
my boyfriend is pretty much the opposite about his opinions and it really gets at me sometimes.
Morgan says:? (9:01:55 PM)
not that I'm complaining about HIM
Morgan says:? (9:02:06 PM)
jsut his narrow-mindedness
Morgan says:? (9:02:19 PM)
it is very dangerous
Morgan says:? (9:02:29 PM)
it makes poeple feel self-rightious
Morgan says:? (9:03:50 PM)
anyway
The Crystal Method says:? (9:04:11 PM)
thats good. i like to think in metaphors. now, theres a bubbling coming from your unconsciousness. thoughts, emotions, random impulses for movements and actions. Now, we, as humans, have a pretty good handle on the physical (this is relative to the rest btw) impulses, for instance we dont let the impulse to pull into the opposing lane take control, we dont gram womens breasts in public. ctnd..
Morgan says:? (9:04:47 PM)
it just bothers me and I dont know how to get that point of view across to people with that type of attitude
Morgan says:? (9:05:20 PM)
nicely put
The Crystal Method says:? (9:06:04 PM)
these are all bubbles, and you have to step back from them instead of letting those bubbles envelop you. You get to look at each bubble with a critical eye, and then, if you think its appropriate, step into the bubble and feel the emotion, fufill the movement, etc. but watching and evaluating those bubbles is the most important thing we can do as humans
Morgan says:? (9:06:39 PM)
mm..
Morgan says:? (9:06:58 PM)
interesting way of putting it - and looking at it
The Crystal Method says:? (9:07:08 PM)
it creates valuable decision making, and excercises your ability to judge
Morgan says:? (9:07:15 PM)
I see
The Crystal Method says:? (9:07:30 PM)
im bummed you didnt get my postcard
Morgan says:? (9:10:01 PM)
me too shawn
Morgan says:? (9:10:13 PM)
I love postcards
Morgan says:? (9:10:23 PM)
and I would have loved one from you
The Crystal Method says:? (9:10:32 PM)
you can apply that to emotions, it works really well. emotions can bubble out of nowhere and take you by surprise, and some people go with it, get trapped in the bubbles, making them angry, sad, happy, etc. You can see the instant someone lets a bubble take them over. look for it.
Morgan says:? (9:13:56 PM)
ooh
Morgan says:? (9:14:00 PM)
I know what you mean
Morgan says:? (9:14:05 PM)
I'm like that though
Morgan says:? (9:14:22 PM)
but I usually attribute it to a chemical imbalance
Morgan says:? (9:15:16 PM)
but I dont believe in disguising or not allowing yourself to feel your own emotions
Morgan says:? (9:15:25 PM)
its part of life
Morgan says:? (9:15:33 PM)
its the most real part of being human
Morgan says:? (9:16:00 PM)
I have taught myself to hide it - best example is the feeling of "missing someone"
Morgan says:? (9:16:28 PM)
I miss so many people and it has hurt so much at times
The Crystal Method says:? (9:16:37 PM)
no, we all do. and its not bad, you just have to be aware
Morgan says:? (9:16:43 PM)
that I've just forced myself to be numb
Morgan says:? (9:16:47 PM)
and not feel it anymore
Morgan says:? (9:19:51 PM)
but that's just my own experience
Morgan says:? (9:19:55 PM)
and the way I look at it
The Crystal Method says:? (9:19:58 PM)
i understand. to gain perspective, you have to disconnect, and sometimes you disconnect at the wrong times, or become too comfortable being disconnected. Its a struggle i battle with, finding that "real" emotion
The Crystal Method says:? (9:20:27 PM)
but when you do find it, like when you miss someone, you should step into it,, feel it'
The Crystal Method says:? (9:20:53 PM)
because its love. any emotion derived from love is worth stepping into
The Crystal Method says:? (9:21:26 PM)
thats why we as humans value it so much
The Crystal Method says:? (9:21:35 PM)
it is our salvation
The Crystal Method says:? (9:22:23 PM)
i had a friend just drop by, thats why i was away for a bit
Morgan says:? (9:23:00 PM)
thats ok
Morgan says:? (9:23:08 PM)
no problem at all
Morgan says:? (9:23:51 PM)
I think that is you can allow yourself to feel or not feel something - like at will. Then the "feeling" or emotion isnt really as pure.
Morgan says:? (9:24:02 PM)
it's jsut being expeirenced - like a play
The Crystal Method says:? (9:24:53 PM)
yes, its what women like to call "emotionally unavailable"
The Crystal Method says:? (9:25:27 PM)
its tough though, were all just trying for a better grasp on the depth and complexity of emotions, without beong run around by them
The Crystal Method says:? (9:26:23 PM)
i came across our grad pictures recently
The Crystal Method says:? (9:26:36 PM)
we were pretty people
Morgan says:? (9:26:49 PM)
we were weren't we
Morgan says:? (9:26:58 PM)
still are I'm sure
The Crystal Method says:? (9:27:06 PM)
thats a lot of W's and E's
The Crystal Method says:? (9:27:15 PM)
im sure too
The Crystal Method says:? (9:27:26 PM)
maybe not this week though, im a little bit of a wreck
Morgan says:? (9:27:31 PM)
ya - thats the thing that's hard - women wont leave the house if the "feel" bad
Morgan says:? (9:27:55 PM)
men wont let themselves "feel"to that extreme, quite rightly I think
The Crystal Method says:? (9:28:11 PM)
"this week on Real TV - "When Feelings Take Over"
The Crystal Method says:? (9:28:27 PM)
the 4 part horror series
Morgan says:? (9:28:28 PM)
but then they have troulbe "feeling"maybe other emotions
Morgan says:? (9:28:40 PM)
haha - what?
The Crystal Method says:? (9:28:45 PM)
youre right, and its unfortunate
The Crystal Method says:? (9:29:19 PM)
im striving to be like David Palmer
Morgan says:? (9:29:21 PM)
but so are you
Morgan says:? (9:29:31 PM)
who is david palmer
Morgan says:? (9:29:44 PM)
sorry ia must seem like I crawled out from under
The Crystal Method says:? (9:29:49 PM)
The black president on 24
Morgan says:? (9:29:50 PM)
a rock with that question
The Crystal Method says:? (9:29:54 PM)
hes a real man
The Crystal Method says:? (9:30:03 PM)
no
Morgan says:? (9:30:04 PM)
24?
The Crystal Method says:? (9:30:19 PM)
lol, its a huge tv show here, i have all the seasons on dvd
The Crystal Method says:? (9:30:24 PM)
my parents got them in china
The Crystal Method says:? (9:32:10 PM)
i have trouble feeling emotions when i know i should be, just because im so used to analyzing situations in order to take the correct course of action.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:33:08 PM)
its probably because i dont have someone in my life who 1. i really care about, and 2 is physically close to me. I dont often have 1 and 2. its either one or the other.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:34:29 PM)
but 2 (which loosely translates into meaningless relations) i have been trying to eliminate from my life. focusing on people i care about who are far away
Morgan says:? (9:34:33 PM)
you know - my boyfirned was very cold and closed until we were together for several months
Morgan says:? (9:34:46 PM)
I almost broke up with him cause of it
Morgan says:? (9:35:11 PM)
but I think he became more emotional naturally
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:20 PM)
right
Morgan says:? (9:35:28 PM)
I dont know how to explain it but it remind me so much of what you're saying
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:33 PM)
as a result of having 1 and 2 at the same time
Morgan says:? (9:35:40 PM)
you need one and 2 to really feel
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:46 PM)
yes
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:49 PM)
you got it
Morgan says:? (9:36:19 PM)
I think 1 &2 make yyou "care" and when you care
The Crystal Method says:? (9:36:58 PM)
it plugs you back in
Morgan says:? (9:37:51 PM)
but its in you - I mean it's just that you dont have a situation to express it that you think its not there
Morgan says:? (9:38:32 PM)
but if someone gave you emotionally and physically exactly what you needed - like in one moment - you'd probalby cry
Morgan says:? (9:38:36 PM)
or laugh
Morgan says:? (9:38:38 PM)
or shout
Morgan says:? (9:38:41 PM)
your choice
Morgan says:? (9:38:55 PM)
but Ive had that experience before - its startling
Morgan says:? (9:39:04 PM)
but fascinating
Morgan says:? (9:39:07 PM)
and lovely
The Crystal Method says:? (9:39:11 PM)
right. i guess it just scares me once and a while, wondering. i dont have a lot oppertunities to reassure myself. I keep the trips to home to a minimum for some strange reason i cant fathom,
Morgan says:? (9:41:19 PM)
really?
The Crystal Method says:? (9:41:38 PM)
yeah. im actually kind of ashamed of it
Morgan says:? (9:42:13 PM)
but thats the thing - it is scary cause its scary to lose something you liek so much. An emotion or someone can become like your favourite stuffed animal when you were a kid
Morgan says:? (9:42:27 PM)
why are you ashamed of it though?
Morgan says:? (9:42:32 PM)
you feel it for a reason
The Crystal Method says:? (9:42:38 PM)
i think its because for people who im supposed to love so much, i cant open up who i really am to them, ive been growing away from them for so long.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:43:39 PM)
and i cant communicate myself properly becuase they cant fathom it, theyre still based in the past
The Crystal Method says:? (9:43:50 PM)
while im blazing into the future
Morgan says:? (9:44:15 PM)
Jesse has the same situation with a lot of people
The Crystal Method says:? (9:44:23 PM)
i think theyre getting it though..its just taking time. seem the farther in life i want to go, the further from my parents i need to get...i know how backwards that sounds
Morgan says:? (9:44:30 PM)
i can realate
Morgan says:? (9:44:51 PM)
i mean - I dont have it with my parents but my brother does
The Crystal Method says:? (9:45:08 PM)
i think its a guy thing
Morgan says:? (9:45:14 PM)
it hurst them and it hurts him to hurt them but you cant cover up how you feel
Morgan says:? (9:45:24 PM)
a lot of guys have that. really A lot
Morgan says:? (9:45:32 PM)
I hear this often
The Crystal Method says:? (9:45:33 PM)
i know.
Morgan says:? (9:45:51 PM)
so maybe it s not nice - but its a shared
Morgan says:? (9:45:54 PM)
feeling
The Crystal Method says:? (9:45:55 PM)
it is a guy thing, not that there arent exceptions
Morgan says:? (9:46:01 PM)
but what makes you feel that way?
Morgan says:? (9:47:04 PM)
no - no exceptions
The Crystal Method says:? (9:48:07 PM)
i think that ive attained a certain intelligence by now, and ive spent a lot of time researching where i stand relatively in the intelligence spectrum of humankind, and now that im confident in my findings, i want my parents to see. but they have such a hard time believing that i could be as 'smart' as i am claiming. mostly because any type of discussing deteriorates into a shouting match within
The Crystal Method says:? (9:48:13 PM)
seconds, or minutes
Morgan says:? (9:48:43 PM)
ooo - I know how that can be
Morgan says:? (9:49:01 PM)
now - your intelligence is quite evident
Morgan says:? (9:49:12 PM)
maybe you jsut intimidate your parents
The Crystal Method says:? (9:49:17 PM)
soo frustruating. from there its a reverting into roles
Morgan says:? (9:49:35 PM)
they have to throw their wieght around to make themselves feel not so small
Morgan says:? (9:49:46 PM)
ya - I know
Morgan says:? (9:49:50 PM)
we all have that
The Crystal Method says:? (9:50:15 PM)
maybe, but i barely get a chance to drop the hammer on them... i never write them emails... ive been avoiding them so long, the backlog is so huge i dont know how to catch up. thats why i started writing a book.
Morgan says:? (9:50:34 PM)
but they shouldn't be so insecure - they should believe in you and respect you
Morgan says:? (9:50:46 PM)
a book?
Morgan says:? (9:50:51 PM)
for them?
Morgan says:? (9:50:55 PM)
thats beautiful
The Crystal Method says:? (9:51:16 PM)
i didnt think it was, but them i realized i was doing it so they could catch up.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:51:25 PM)
so we could be on common ground again
Morgan says:? (9:53:14 PM)
well - you've had such amazing expeirenced, and they havent had the same. its easier to get along with people if you go through something or experience something together. it brings you closer
Morgan says:? (9:53:24 PM)
but what have you expeirenced togheter recently?
Morgan says:? (9:54:00 PM)
I think its good what your dooing . the can learn about your experiences, and about you through the experiences
The Crystal Method says:? (9:54:29 PM)
quite a bit. that trip to south america and china.....its not a huge problem, its not eating at me so much, its just that emotion we were looking for earlier.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:54:54 PM)
yeah, i think if i can do it right, it will be great
The Crystal Method says:? (9:55:53 PM)
im looking at our display pictures and i cant help but think "Can we take on the world with this body? with this image?" it seems as im we display the image for the world to see, to watch out for, cause we're comin
Morgan says:? (9:58:24 PM)
maybe that is whats happening
The Crystal Method says:? (10:00:09 PM)
maybe.
The Crystal Method says:? (10:00:28 PM)
k morgan im gonna sign off. nice tslking with you
The Crystal Method says:? (10:00:42 PM)
tslking and talking
The Crystal Method says:? (10:02:28 PM)
i hope i helped ¥ou in some way.
Morgan says:? (10:02:48 PM)
I have to go to bed
Morgan says:? (10:03:28 PM)
it's 4 in the morning here and i still have some school work
Morgan says:? (10:03:28 PM)
thats why I'm a bit absent, especially at your last comment
Morgan says:? (10:03:36 PM)
it was a treat talking with you
The Crystal Method says:? (10:03:54 PM)
i was sayong im signing off and it was nice talking with you.
Morgan says:? (10:03:55 PM)
i hope I helped you in someway
Morgan says:? (10:04:04 PM)
I know - and I am agreeing
Morgan says:? (10:04:16 PM)
like - yes and I have to go too so its ok
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:19 PM)
im sure you did. have a good sleep.
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:20 PM)
ok
Morgan says:? (10:04:22 PM)
have a good evening
Morgan says:? (10:04:26 PM)
thank you
Morgan says:? (10:04:28 PM)
you also
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:28 PM)
will do
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:32 PM)
ciao
Morgan says:? (10:04:35 PM)
hope you feel better soon
Morgan says:? (10:04:37 PM)
ciao
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:38 PM)
thx
i dont have time to entertain your worthlessness.
your worthlessness to me. not in general.
The Crystal Method says:? (7:58:47 PM)
well hey there
The Crystal Method says:? (7:58:52 PM)
are you famous tey
The Crystal Method says:? (7:58:54 PM)
yet
Morgan says:? (7:59:02 PM)
hi!
Morgan says:? (7:59:04 PM)
not yet
Morgan says:? (7:59:12 PM)
maybe tomorrow
The Crystal Method says:? (7:59:14 PM)
well you should be
Morgan says:? (7:59:16 PM)
how are you?
Morgan says:? (7:59:27 PM)
haha - thanks thats sweet
The Crystal Method says:? (7:59:35 PM)
its been a shitty 2 weeks, ive been really sick, but things are looking up
The Crystal Method says:? (7:59:56 PM)
is that a pic of you?
Morgan says:? (8:00:26 PM)
aww - what was worng?
Morgan says:? (8:00:32 PM)
no audrey hepburn
Morgan says:? (8:00:51 PM)
in a movie - one of my favourites
The Crystal Method says:? (8:00:58 PM)
cool
The Crystal Method says:? (8:01:11 PM)
i had the entire range of sickness
Morgan says:? (8:02:06 PM)
what then?
Morgan says:? (8:02:13 PM)
were you at home?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:02:21 PM)
for half of it
Morgan says:? (8:02:30 PM)
hmm
The Crystal Method says:? (8:02:35 PM)
it started when i got back from costa rica
Morgan says:? (8:04:19 PM)
you were in Costa rica?
Morgan says:? (8:04:31 PM)
why are you just ever the coolest?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:07 PM)
lol, cause i never listen to people
Morgan says:? (8:05:23 PM)
goooood for you
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:24 PM)
y;know when they tell me im not the coolest
Morgan says:? (8:05:26 PM)
thats the key
Morgan says:? (8:05:33 PM)
oh hahaha
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:40 PM)
i just dont have time for critics
Morgan says:? (8:05:42 PM)
I thought you meant you do your own thing
The Crystal Method says:? (8:05:51 PM)
i did
Morgan says:? (8:06:18 PM)
poeple are always saying dum things like "costa rica?! you can't afford the time, expenses blabla for that
Waiting for Morgan to accept the file "Yoshimoto - Do What U Du (trentemoller).mp3" (10721 Kb). Transfer time is less than 90 minutes with a 28.8 modem. Please wait for a response or Cancel (Cmd+.) the file transfer.
Morgan says:? (8:06:26 PM)
dont go - stay here in ottawa
The Crystal Method says:? (8:06:26 PM)
i know
Transfer of file "Yoshimoto - Do What U Du (trentemoller).mp3" has been accepted by Morgan. Starting transfer...Cancel
The Crystal Method says:? (8:06:56 PM)
yeah i went there, and now i have a future career buiilding suspended treehouses in the rainforest at a remote rafting lodge
The Crystal Method says:? (8:07:32 PM)
did you ever get my postcard
Morgan says:? (8:07:53 PM)
no : (((
The Crystal Method says:? (8:07:56 PM)
??
Morgan says:? (8:07:58 PM)
post card?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:07:59 PM)
??
Morgan says:? (8:08:05 PM)
from costa rica?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:07 PM)
yeah, i sent it long ago
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:14 PM)
nooooo, long long ago
Morgan says:? (8:08:15 PM)
*jl002no...
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:22 PM)
i sent it to that house where you were a nanny
Morgan says:? (8:08:26 PM)
no
Morgan says:? (8:08:39 PM)
I would have loved it if I had gotten it though
The Crystal Method says:? (8:08:43 PM)
oh man, i figured it would get to you..
Morgan says:? (8:08:49 PM)
thank you for the lovely post card*jl001
Morgan says:? (8:09:00 PM)
haha - no they never sent it on
The Crystal Method says:? (8:09:01 PM)
lol, it was lovely..
Morgan says:? (8:09:19 PM)
aww - I bet they've kept it for me
Morgan says:? (8:09:24 PM)
when did you send it?
Morgan says:? (8:09:26 PM)
I'll ask them
Morgan says:? (8:09:32 PM)
want my new address?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:09:46 PM)
it was about a year ago
The Crystal Method says:? (8:09:49 PM)
yeah
Morgan says:? (8:10:08 PM)
Avenue Carnisse
Morgan says:? (8:10:13 PM)
2993 MH
Morgan says:? (8:10:22 PM)
Barendrecht, The Netherlands
Morgan says:? (8:10:38 PM)
then I can actually have the pleasure of recieving my postcards
Morgan says:? (8:11:01 PM)
ok so back to building tree top houses in the rainforest
Morgan says:? (8:11:11 PM)
first of all ... you and your tree houses...
Morgan says:? (8:11:21 PM)
second - that is sooooo cooool
Morgan says:? (8:11:54 PM)
I 've always had a secret wish to live off the fruit of the land, and solar energy in the rainforest canopy
The Crystal Method says:? (8:11:54 PM)
lol
The Crystal Method says:? (8:12:08 PM)
yea, me too, so i decided to do it
Morgan says:? (8:12:13 PM)
and to visit the galapagos islands
Morgan says:? (8:12:19 PM)
I dream about it a lot
The Crystal Method says:? (8:12:27 PM)
i could have when i was in peru
Morgan says:? (8:12:30 PM)
but I don't say this to anyome
Morgan says:? (8:12:35 PM)
really?
Morgan says:? (8:12:37 PM)
wow
The Crystal Method says:? (8:12:37 PM)
but it was too expensive
The Crystal Method says:? (8:13:00 PM)
well, it might be something completely different that what you dream about you know
The Crystal Method says:? (8:13:14 PM)
at least the image is safe in a dream
Sending of "Yoshimoto - Do What U Du (trentemoller).mp3" to Morgan has failed.
The Crystal Method says:? (8:13:43 PM)
nooooo
Morgan says:? (8:14:14 PM)
whyyy
The Crystal Method says:? (8:14:19 PM)
??
The Crystal Method says:? (8:14:25 PM)
what email can i send it to
Morgan says:? (8:14:26 PM)
it's true
Morgan says:? (8:14:41 PM)
but I'm living several of my dreams out now
The Crystal Method says:? (8:14:50 PM)
right on
Morgan says:? (8:14:54 PM)
and it feels as good as the dream
Morgan says:? (8:15:04 PM)
well at moments.
The Crystal Method says:? (8:15:06 PM)
xxxcelent
Morgan says:? (8:15:08 PM)
sometimes even better
Morgan says:? (8:15:18 PM)
morganzara@gmail.com
Morgan says:? (8:15:26 PM)
or you can try to send it again
The Crystal Method says:? (8:15:50 PM)
well, a dream is something you havent attained right, so not having dreams means youre either living them, or youre suicidal
Morgan says:? (8:17:00 PM)
hahah - welll... I don't know
Morgan says:? (8:17:04 PM)
if I agree
Morgan says:? (8:17:13 PM)
what is next for you?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:18:55 PM)
raft guide in jasper
Morgan says:? (8:20:28 PM)
fun
The Crystal Method says:? (8:20:30 PM)
Well the point is there are people who think that knowing what you want and going and getting it eliminates the dream, because youre realizing them. you dont listen to people who try and cut you down, because by the time theyve stopped talking, youve created another masterpiece
Morgan says:? (8:21:01 PM)
haha - are those your words or someone elses?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:17 PM)
im just working on gettin my schooling under control while staying healthy
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:19 PM)
mine
Morgan says:? (8:21:34 PM)
I think some of the things you say will become "old canadian proverbs" one day
Morgan says:? (8:21:44 PM)
well - take your time
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:47 PM)
as long as i can make some money off them
Morgan says:? (8:21:52 PM)
if your sick your sick
The Crystal Method says:? (8:21:53 PM)
thats be nice
Morgan says:? (8:22:00 PM)
haha - ok deal
The Crystal Method says:? (8:22:00 PM)
true
Morgan says:? (8:22:06 PM)
you get all the IP rights
The Crystal Method says:? (8:22:12 PM)
solid
Morgan says:? (8:22:53 PM)
tutle
The Crystal Method says:? (8:23:15 PM)
hm. i dont know what to make out of that word..
Morgan says:? (8:23:33 PM)
what word?
Morgan says:? (8:23:46 PM)
it's a ninja turtle!
Morgan says:? (8:23:52 PM)
can't you see him?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:23:58 PM)
i cant see any of your fancy images
The Crystal Method says:? (8:24:09 PM)
no, they screwed mac messenger
The Crystal Method says:? (8:24:19 PM)
i just bought a powerbook g4
Morgan says:? (8:24:24 PM)
that's not so nice
Morgan says:? (8:24:38 PM)
you should comment about that to Mike
The Crystal Method says:? (8:24:47 PM)
mike
Morgan says:? (8:24:48 PM)
ohh nice
Morgan says:? (8:25:02 PM)
MikeApple isnt it?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:25:03 PM)
what
The Crystal Method says:? (8:25:08 PM)
i dont know
Morgan says:? (8:25:14 PM)
the owner and starter of Mac
The Crystal Method says:? (8:25:57 PM)
i dont know. is his last name really apple?
Morgan says:? (8:26:01 PM)
I was half joking - like write him a letter that his computers cant perform the simplest of tasks like displaying fun msn icons
Morgan says:? (8:26:12 PM)
ya - I think thats why its called apple
The Crystal Method says:? (8:26:14 PM)
bill gates was the co founder of apple
The Crystal Method says:? (8:26:17 PM)
but he left
The Crystal Method says:? (8:26:45 PM)
its microsoft software
The Crystal Method says:? (8:27:38 PM)
so what does your average day look like
Morgan says:? (8:28:14 PM)
nope can't find anything on it just look up who started up the company
Morgan says:? (8:28:30 PM)
co founder with who though?
Morgan says:? (8:28:41 PM)
I know but what was the name of the other guy?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:21 PM)
I dunno
Morgan says:? (8:29:22 PM)
and I'm aware that its ms software. and the computers are now faster cause of intel pentium processors or something?
Morgan says:? (8:29:25 PM)
I here
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:29 PM)
yes
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:36 PM)
youre on top of it
Morgan says:? (8:29:41 PM)
an average day any time of the year is rainy and chilly
The Crystal Method says:? (8:29:57 PM)
www.freespiritspheres.com
Morgan says:? (8:29:59 PM)
is that what you mean? or what do I do on these rainy days..?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:30:34 PM)
i hope to be helping him build there for installation in select rainforest operations, ending of course, with mine on the west coast
The Crystal Method says:? (8:30:45 PM)
What do you do on those rainy days
The Crystal Method says:? (8:31:38 PM)
the computer and my trip to CR cost me 4 k.
Morgan says:? (8:31:47 PM)
let me have a look at this link...
The Crystal Method says:? (8:31:54 PM)
yes, please do
The Crystal Method says:? (8:31:58 PM)
and check your email
The Crystal Method says:? (8:32:03 PM)
and blast those tunes
Morgan says:? (8:33:02 PM)
ok - I have a new phone -i can play them on that
Morgan says:? (8:33:28 PM)
The concept (of the houses) is interesting
Morgan says:? (8:33:30 PM)
very
Morgan says:? (8:33:38 PM)
4 k!!
Morgan says:? (8:33:42 PM)
!
Morgan says:? (8:33:47 PM)
wow
The Crystal Method says:? (8:35:39 PM)
i think thats just for the plans
The Crystal Method says:? (8:35:51 PM)
wait
The Crystal Method says:? (8:35:59 PM)
yes, 4 k for my stuff
Morgan says:? (8:36:39 PM)
that's a lot
The Crystal Method says:? (8:36:44 PM)
the concept is faciniating. its represents a new sustainable symbiosis with nature. its what needs to happen, quickly
Morgan says:? (8:37:35 PM)
it's so good to hear someone say that. I feel guilty that I don't DO something about the way I feel about the situation
Morgan says:? (8:37:51 PM)
but it's a great concept
Morgan says:? (8:38:16 PM)
beautiful and practical
Morgan says:? (8:38:26 PM)
a normal day for me:
The Crystal Method says:? (8:38:36 PM)
simplicity is sacred
The Crystal Method says:? (8:38:53 PM)
are you rockin to the beats yet
Morgan says:? (8:38:56 PM)
beautifully put
Morgan says:? (8:39:09 PM)
not yet.. hold on
The Crystal Method says:? (8:39:22 PM)
im listening to fred everything right now
The Crystal Method says:? (8:39:26 PM)
its the first email
Morgan says:? (8:44:35 PM)
I'm listening to it now
The Crystal Method says:? (8:44:40 PM)
sweet
Morgan says:? (8:44:51 PM)
i know this
The Crystal Method says:? (8:44:55 PM)
do you
Morgan says:? (8:45:12 PM)
oh ya
The Crystal Method says:? (8:45:15 PM)
youre the first person ive met who does
The Crystal Method says:? (8:45:24 PM)
but then again, you are in euroupe
Morgan says:? (8:46:02 PM)
haha - no I think already for a few weeks/months its been on late on the radio
The Crystal Method says:? (8:46:18 PM)
hm. interesting
Morgan says:? (8:46:35 PM)
true true europe has very different taste in music than canada
Morgan says:? (8:47:02 PM)
I put on the other one
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:03 PM)
better in my opinion
Morgan says:? (8:47:08 PM)
mine too
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:27 PM)
is it at full volume
Morgan says:? (8:47:29 PM)
I really liek the music here / there is always somehting on the radio here
Morgan says:? (8:47:33 PM)
not in canada
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:34 PM)
no matter whose listening
Morgan says:? (8:47:42 PM)
of course!
Morgan says:? (8:47:44 PM)
its on full
The Crystal Method says:? (8:47:50 PM)
the radio is a dirty word here
Morgan says:? (8:48:22 PM)
haha like `aww radio ? crap"
The Crystal Method says:? (8:49:07 PM)
yes, like "r****, turn that shit off before my ears start bleeding etracellular fluid"
The Crystal Method says:? (8:49:50 PM)
if i hear creed one more time, im going to find out where they live and burn their house down
The Crystal Method says:? (8:50:00 PM)
but you didnt hear that from me
Morgan says:? (8:50:52 PM)
haha - creed?! are you joking?
Morgan says:? (8:51:04 PM)
f*%$#ckinh crap
Morgan says:? (8:51:06 PM)
sorry
Morgan says:? (8:51:13 PM)
but really - I mean come on
Morgan says:? (8:51:23 PM)
yuck
Morgan says:? (8:51:29 PM)
I like this second song
The Crystal Method says:? (8:51:31 PM)
what, you like creed?
Morgan says:? (8:51:33 PM)
its good
Morgan says:? (8:51:53 PM)
no - I said its crap
The Crystal Method says:? (8:52:01 PM)
lol, i know
Morgan says:? (8:52:09 PM)
actually I said creed was f*$#cking crap
Morgan says:? (8:52:18 PM)
no I liek the song you sent me
The Crystal Method says:? (8:52:28 PM)
ya, i follow
Morgan says:? (8:52:31 PM)
fr Yoshimoto
The Crystal Method says:? (8:52:37 PM)
good
Morgan says:? (8:52:57 PM)
they have the coolest musick videos here too for the music
The Crystal Method says:? (8:53:02 PM)
ya?
The Crystal Method says:? (8:53:07 PM)
i dont have a tv
Morgan says:? (8:54:24 PM)
good for you
Morgan says:? (8:54:31 PM)
tv is very very very unhealthy
Morgan says:? (8:54:34 PM)
really
The Crystal Method says:? (8:54:40 PM)
yes, agreed
Morgan says:? (8:54:47 PM)
it's all brainwash
Morgan says:? (8:54:50 PM)
really it is
The Crystal Method says:? (8:54:50 PM)
i have lots of movies though
Morgan says:? (8:54:59 PM)
its amazing that people dont realize it
Morgan says:? (8:55:26 PM)
I watch it - but at least I m aware I'm being pumped full of propaganda
The Crystal Method says:? (8:56:36 PM)
you know whats been amazing me lately? is how little people change. its hitting me more and more, especially when i talk to older people, and i can see what kind of person they were when they were young, and how their beliefs havent changed. its almost as if they have an exact moment they made a decision about something and never questioned it again.
The Crystal Method says:? (8:57:00 PM)
being aware is almost the only thing you can do, unfortunately
Morgan says:? (8:57:11 PM)
it true what you say
Morgan says:? (8:57:19 PM)
thats true
Morgan says:? (8:57:30 PM)
my dad is so good at cathcing me on it
Morgan says:? (8:57:40 PM)
i'll go ranting about hamas or something
The Crystal Method says:? (8:58:01 PM)
ya, i only have myself to catch myself, im getting really good at it
Morgan says:? (8:58:11 PM)
and he'll catch me - but morgan - do youreally know anything about hama?
Morgan says:? (8:58:22 PM)
thats very good of you
Morgan says:? (8:58:31 PM)
self sufficient
The Crystal Method says:? (8:58:32 PM)
well, ranting is good, because it gets your thoughts out there for someone else to improve upon, or change, you just have to be open for the input
The Crystal Method says:? (8:59:09 PM)
the problematic people are the ones who broadcast, but dont register feedback
The Crystal Method says:? (8:59:26 PM)
those are a red flag for me
The Crystal Method says:? (8:59:45 PM)
so many dangerous people out there, waiting to suck you into their world
The Crystal Method says:? (9:00:42 PM)
everyone needs other people to agree with them, and they (we) cant be satisfied, we need more people to agree, more and more.... until be believe we are right and have the answer. so dangerous
Morgan says:? (9:01:05 PM)
I have a really open point of view on most things - i like to be challenged and to hear differnet view points on the same story
Morgan says:? (9:01:46 PM)
my boyfriend is pretty much the opposite about his opinions and it really gets at me sometimes.
Morgan says:? (9:01:55 PM)
not that I'm complaining about HIM
Morgan says:? (9:02:06 PM)
jsut his narrow-mindedness
Morgan says:? (9:02:19 PM)
it is very dangerous
Morgan says:? (9:02:29 PM)
it makes poeple feel self-rightious
Morgan says:? (9:03:50 PM)
anyway
The Crystal Method says:? (9:04:11 PM)
thats good. i like to think in metaphors. now, theres a bubbling coming from your unconsciousness. thoughts, emotions, random impulses for movements and actions. Now, we, as humans, have a pretty good handle on the physical (this is relative to the rest btw) impulses, for instance we dont let the impulse to pull into the opposing lane take control, we dont gram womens breasts in public. ctnd..
Morgan says:? (9:04:47 PM)
it just bothers me and I dont know how to get that point of view across to people with that type of attitude
Morgan says:? (9:05:20 PM)
nicely put
The Crystal Method says:? (9:06:04 PM)
these are all bubbles, and you have to step back from them instead of letting those bubbles envelop you. You get to look at each bubble with a critical eye, and then, if you think its appropriate, step into the bubble and feel the emotion, fufill the movement, etc. but watching and evaluating those bubbles is the most important thing we can do as humans
Morgan says:? (9:06:39 PM)
mm..
Morgan says:? (9:06:58 PM)
interesting way of putting it - and looking at it
The Crystal Method says:? (9:07:08 PM)
it creates valuable decision making, and excercises your ability to judge
Morgan says:? (9:07:15 PM)
I see
The Crystal Method says:? (9:07:30 PM)
im bummed you didnt get my postcard
Morgan says:? (9:10:01 PM)
me too shawn
Morgan says:? (9:10:13 PM)
I love postcards
Morgan says:? (9:10:23 PM)
and I would have loved one from you
The Crystal Method says:? (9:10:32 PM)
you can apply that to emotions, it works really well. emotions can bubble out of nowhere and take you by surprise, and some people go with it, get trapped in the bubbles, making them angry, sad, happy, etc. You can see the instant someone lets a bubble take them over. look for it.
Morgan says:? (9:13:56 PM)
ooh
Morgan says:? (9:14:00 PM)
I know what you mean
Morgan says:? (9:14:05 PM)
I'm like that though
Morgan says:? (9:14:22 PM)
but I usually attribute it to a chemical imbalance
Morgan says:? (9:15:16 PM)
but I dont believe in disguising or not allowing yourself to feel your own emotions
Morgan says:? (9:15:25 PM)
its part of life
Morgan says:? (9:15:33 PM)
its the most real part of being human
Morgan says:? (9:16:00 PM)
I have taught myself to hide it - best example is the feeling of "missing someone"
Morgan says:? (9:16:28 PM)
I miss so many people and it has hurt so much at times
The Crystal Method says:? (9:16:37 PM)
no, we all do. and its not bad, you just have to be aware
Morgan says:? (9:16:43 PM)
that I've just forced myself to be numb
Morgan says:? (9:16:47 PM)
and not feel it anymore
Morgan says:? (9:19:51 PM)
but that's just my own experience
Morgan says:? (9:19:55 PM)
and the way I look at it
The Crystal Method says:? (9:19:58 PM)
i understand. to gain perspective, you have to disconnect, and sometimes you disconnect at the wrong times, or become too comfortable being disconnected. Its a struggle i battle with, finding that "real" emotion
The Crystal Method says:? (9:20:27 PM)
but when you do find it, like when you miss someone, you should step into it,, feel it'
The Crystal Method says:? (9:20:53 PM)
because its love. any emotion derived from love is worth stepping into
The Crystal Method says:? (9:21:26 PM)
thats why we as humans value it so much
The Crystal Method says:? (9:21:35 PM)
it is our salvation
The Crystal Method says:? (9:22:23 PM)
i had a friend just drop by, thats why i was away for a bit
Morgan says:? (9:23:00 PM)
thats ok
Morgan says:? (9:23:08 PM)
no problem at all
Morgan says:? (9:23:51 PM)
I think that is you can allow yourself to feel or not feel something - like at will. Then the "feeling" or emotion isnt really as pure.
Morgan says:? (9:24:02 PM)
it's jsut being expeirenced - like a play
The Crystal Method says:? (9:24:53 PM)
yes, its what women like to call "emotionally unavailable"
The Crystal Method says:? (9:25:27 PM)
its tough though, were all just trying for a better grasp on the depth and complexity of emotions, without beong run around by them
The Crystal Method says:? (9:26:23 PM)
i came across our grad pictures recently
The Crystal Method says:? (9:26:36 PM)
we were pretty people
Morgan says:? (9:26:49 PM)
we were weren't we
Morgan says:? (9:26:58 PM)
still are I'm sure
The Crystal Method says:? (9:27:06 PM)
thats a lot of W's and E's
The Crystal Method says:? (9:27:15 PM)
im sure too
The Crystal Method says:? (9:27:26 PM)
maybe not this week though, im a little bit of a wreck
Morgan says:? (9:27:31 PM)
ya - thats the thing that's hard - women wont leave the house if the "feel" bad
Morgan says:? (9:27:55 PM)
men wont let themselves "feel"to that extreme, quite rightly I think
The Crystal Method says:? (9:28:11 PM)
"this week on Real TV - "When Feelings Take Over"
The Crystal Method says:? (9:28:27 PM)
the 4 part horror series
Morgan says:? (9:28:28 PM)
but then they have troulbe "feeling"maybe other emotions
Morgan says:? (9:28:40 PM)
haha - what?
The Crystal Method says:? (9:28:45 PM)
youre right, and its unfortunate
The Crystal Method says:? (9:29:19 PM)
im striving to be like David Palmer
Morgan says:? (9:29:21 PM)
but so are you
Morgan says:? (9:29:31 PM)
who is david palmer
Morgan says:? (9:29:44 PM)
sorry ia must seem like I crawled out from under
The Crystal Method says:? (9:29:49 PM)
The black president on 24
Morgan says:? (9:29:50 PM)
a rock with that question
The Crystal Method says:? (9:29:54 PM)
hes a real man
The Crystal Method says:? (9:30:03 PM)
no
Morgan says:? (9:30:04 PM)
24?
The Crystal Method says:? (9:30:19 PM)
lol, its a huge tv show here, i have all the seasons on dvd
The Crystal Method says:? (9:30:24 PM)
my parents got them in china
The Crystal Method says:? (9:32:10 PM)
i have trouble feeling emotions when i know i should be, just because im so used to analyzing situations in order to take the correct course of action.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:33:08 PM)
its probably because i dont have someone in my life who 1. i really care about, and 2 is physically close to me. I dont often have 1 and 2. its either one or the other.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:34:29 PM)
but 2 (which loosely translates into meaningless relations) i have been trying to eliminate from my life. focusing on people i care about who are far away
Morgan says:? (9:34:33 PM)
you know - my boyfirned was very cold and closed until we were together for several months
Morgan says:? (9:34:46 PM)
I almost broke up with him cause of it
Morgan says:? (9:35:11 PM)
but I think he became more emotional naturally
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:20 PM)
right
Morgan says:? (9:35:28 PM)
I dont know how to explain it but it remind me so much of what you're saying
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:33 PM)
as a result of having 1 and 2 at the same time
Morgan says:? (9:35:40 PM)
you need one and 2 to really feel
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:46 PM)
yes
The Crystal Method says:? (9:35:49 PM)
you got it
Morgan says:? (9:36:19 PM)
I think 1 &2 make yyou "care" and when you care
The Crystal Method says:? (9:36:58 PM)
it plugs you back in
Morgan says:? (9:37:51 PM)
but its in you - I mean it's just that you dont have a situation to express it that you think its not there
Morgan says:? (9:38:32 PM)
but if someone gave you emotionally and physically exactly what you needed - like in one moment - you'd probalby cry
Morgan says:? (9:38:36 PM)
or laugh
Morgan says:? (9:38:38 PM)
or shout
Morgan says:? (9:38:41 PM)
your choice
Morgan says:? (9:38:55 PM)
but Ive had that experience before - its startling
Morgan says:? (9:39:04 PM)
but fascinating
Morgan says:? (9:39:07 PM)
and lovely
The Crystal Method says:? (9:39:11 PM)
right. i guess it just scares me once and a while, wondering. i dont have a lot oppertunities to reassure myself. I keep the trips to home to a minimum for some strange reason i cant fathom,
Morgan says:? (9:41:19 PM)
really?
The Crystal Method says:? (9:41:38 PM)
yeah. im actually kind of ashamed of it
Morgan says:? (9:42:13 PM)
but thats the thing - it is scary cause its scary to lose something you liek so much. An emotion or someone can become like your favourite stuffed animal when you were a kid
Morgan says:? (9:42:27 PM)
why are you ashamed of it though?
Morgan says:? (9:42:32 PM)
you feel it for a reason
The Crystal Method says:? (9:42:38 PM)
i think its because for people who im supposed to love so much, i cant open up who i really am to them, ive been growing away from them for so long.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:43:39 PM)
and i cant communicate myself properly becuase they cant fathom it, theyre still based in the past
The Crystal Method says:? (9:43:50 PM)
while im blazing into the future
Morgan says:? (9:44:15 PM)
Jesse has the same situation with a lot of people
The Crystal Method says:? (9:44:23 PM)
i think theyre getting it though..its just taking time. seem the farther in life i want to go, the further from my parents i need to get...i know how backwards that sounds
Morgan says:? (9:44:30 PM)
i can realate
Morgan says:? (9:44:51 PM)
i mean - I dont have it with my parents but my brother does
The Crystal Method says:? (9:45:08 PM)
i think its a guy thing
Morgan says:? (9:45:14 PM)
it hurst them and it hurts him to hurt them but you cant cover up how you feel
Morgan says:? (9:45:24 PM)
a lot of guys have that. really A lot
Morgan says:? (9:45:32 PM)
I hear this often
The Crystal Method says:? (9:45:33 PM)
i know.
Morgan says:? (9:45:51 PM)
so maybe it s not nice - but its a shared
Morgan says:? (9:45:54 PM)
feeling
The Crystal Method says:? (9:45:55 PM)
it is a guy thing, not that there arent exceptions
Morgan says:? (9:46:01 PM)
but what makes you feel that way?
Morgan says:? (9:47:04 PM)
no - no exceptions
The Crystal Method says:? (9:48:07 PM)
i think that ive attained a certain intelligence by now, and ive spent a lot of time researching where i stand relatively in the intelligence spectrum of humankind, and now that im confident in my findings, i want my parents to see. but they have such a hard time believing that i could be as 'smart' as i am claiming. mostly because any type of discussing deteriorates into a shouting match within
The Crystal Method says:? (9:48:13 PM)
seconds, or minutes
Morgan says:? (9:48:43 PM)
ooo - I know how that can be
Morgan says:? (9:49:01 PM)
now - your intelligence is quite evident
Morgan says:? (9:49:12 PM)
maybe you jsut intimidate your parents
The Crystal Method says:? (9:49:17 PM)
soo frustruating. from there its a reverting into roles
Morgan says:? (9:49:35 PM)
they have to throw their wieght around to make themselves feel not so small
Morgan says:? (9:49:46 PM)
ya - I know
Morgan says:? (9:49:50 PM)
we all have that
The Crystal Method says:? (9:50:15 PM)
maybe, but i barely get a chance to drop the hammer on them... i never write them emails... ive been avoiding them so long, the backlog is so huge i dont know how to catch up. thats why i started writing a book.
Morgan says:? (9:50:34 PM)
but they shouldn't be so insecure - they should believe in you and respect you
Morgan says:? (9:50:46 PM)
a book?
Morgan says:? (9:50:51 PM)
for them?
Morgan says:? (9:50:55 PM)
thats beautiful
The Crystal Method says:? (9:51:16 PM)
i didnt think it was, but them i realized i was doing it so they could catch up.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:51:25 PM)
so we could be on common ground again
Morgan says:? (9:53:14 PM)
well - you've had such amazing expeirenced, and they havent had the same. its easier to get along with people if you go through something or experience something together. it brings you closer
Morgan says:? (9:53:24 PM)
but what have you expeirenced togheter recently?
Morgan says:? (9:54:00 PM)
I think its good what your dooing . the can learn about your experiences, and about you through the experiences
The Crystal Method says:? (9:54:29 PM)
quite a bit. that trip to south america and china.....its not a huge problem, its not eating at me so much, its just that emotion we were looking for earlier.
The Crystal Method says:? (9:54:54 PM)
yeah, i think if i can do it right, it will be great
The Crystal Method says:? (9:55:53 PM)
im looking at our display pictures and i cant help but think "Can we take on the world with this body? with this image?" it seems as im we display the image for the world to see, to watch out for, cause we're comin
Morgan says:? (9:58:24 PM)
maybe that is whats happening
The Crystal Method says:? (10:00:09 PM)
maybe.
The Crystal Method says:? (10:00:28 PM)
k morgan im gonna sign off. nice tslking with you
The Crystal Method says:? (10:00:42 PM)
tslking and talking
The Crystal Method says:? (10:02:28 PM)
i hope i helped ¥ou in some way.
Morgan says:? (10:02:48 PM)
I have to go to bed
Morgan says:? (10:03:28 PM)
it's 4 in the morning here and i still have some school work
Morgan says:? (10:03:28 PM)
thats why I'm a bit absent, especially at your last comment
Morgan says:? (10:03:36 PM)
it was a treat talking with you
The Crystal Method says:? (10:03:54 PM)
i was sayong im signing off and it was nice talking with you.
Morgan says:? (10:03:55 PM)
i hope I helped you in someway
Morgan says:? (10:04:04 PM)
I know - and I am agreeing
Morgan says:? (10:04:16 PM)
like - yes and I have to go too so its ok
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:19 PM)
im sure you did. have a good sleep.
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:20 PM)
ok
Morgan says:? (10:04:22 PM)
have a good evening
Morgan says:? (10:04:26 PM)
thank you
Morgan says:? (10:04:28 PM)
you also
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:28 PM)
will do
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:32 PM)
ciao
Morgan says:? (10:04:35 PM)
hope you feel better soon
Morgan says:? (10:04:37 PM)
ciao
The Crystal Method says:? (10:04:38 PM)
thx
