Conspiracy theory generator, this is funny

so much effort

I Smoke And Tweak Blunts

I ski mostly park and mostly BC and mostly groomers so 50 % park 50% groomers and 50 % pow. what shoudl i do . I hear that the chronic minis kill it in pow,,,, what should i get ?- calskierx
 
In order to understand ski bumming you need to realize that everything is controlled by a the masses of Newschoolers made up of monoskiers with help from the PPP.

The conspiracy first started during the creation of the "Post a picture of a hot girl" thread in Non Ski Gabber. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the war against the Alien.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by nose picking.

They want to ghetto murder Lateralis and imprison resisters in Texas using skis.

In order to prepare for this, we all must lock and load the spork cannon. Since the media is controlled by PhattTim we should get our information from the South.

______________________

- Ian

~~ Phunkin Phatt Phreerider ~~

"Dude, they're totally into you, they just don't know it yet..." - PhattTim

"i went into last night with a 30 pack of coors light and came out with a golf club, 2 1/2 lawn darts and a friend that fell out of a car going 35mph." - asac

" just rub man, That's all there is to it. If you don't think you're doin it right, rub harder." - xtakewarninx
 
Hahaha, oops, nosepicking was from the other one..... replace with "totally shibby behaviour"

______________________

- Ian

~~ Phunkin Phatt Phreerider ~~

"Dude, they're totally into you, they just don't know it yet..." - PhattTim

"i went into last night with a 30 pack of coors light and came out with a golf club, 2 1/2 lawn darts and a friend that fell out of a car going 35mph." - asac

" just rub man, That's all there is to it. If you don't think you're doin it right, rub harder." - xtakewarninx
 
In order to understand eating excessive amounts of chinese food at one time you need to realize that everything is controlled by a environmentalists made up of blacks with help from black environmentalists.

The conspiracy first started during trojan war in narnia. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the stock market crash.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by scratching their chin when theres no beard.

They want to slap Bob Marley and imprison resisters in your mom's house using shriner cars.

In order to prepare for this, we all must dropkick. Since the media is controlled by UVM we should get our information from Bush.

Anyway, a gas station we pass. We got gas, and ran off to get grub.It was a nice little pub in the middle on nowhere. Anywhere woulda been better. I ordered enchiladas and I ate 'em, Ali had the fruit punch.

 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand gang violence you need to realize that everything is controlled by a govenment made up of police with help from the army.

The conspiracy first started during slavery in Brooklyn. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including When the lady sat in the front of the bus, and the rebellions against the po' po' from the crips and the bloods.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by thier colored rags and ak-47's.

They want to shoot and stab police and imprison resisters in compton using impala's.

In order to prepare for this, we all must gang up. Since the media is controlled by liberals we should get our information from george bush and the crips and bloods.

-kulpy-

gangsta raps lyrics are all the same, Someone gets shot, someones frontin, someones a wangsta, someones benchpressin, someones makin fried chicken, and the beans dont burn on the grill. You can see that shit in kentucky. Fuck the bronx, deep south bitches-scientist
 
the bold parts made me laugh out loud.

What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand love you need to realize that everything is controlled by a the cia made up of the chinese with help from alot of bananna pickers.

The conspiracy first started during the big bang in mexico. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the battle of 1812.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by smoking.

They want to curb stomp jesus and imprison resisters in new jersey using skis.

In order to prepare for this, we all must start skateboarding. Since the media is controlled by the liberal party of canada we should get our information from the conservative party of canada.

****************************************

-Matt

My signature is so plain... dag yo.

NS SKATEBOARDERS

 
In order to understand monkey jizz you need to realize that everything is controlled by a black sheep made up of black sheeps and yogurt heads with help from indians.

The conspiracy first started during smashing of the temple of monkey business in africa. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including combining of the sheep and koala people.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by poo flinging.

They want to purple nurple The Holy Shnikes and imprison resisters in mayonaise pit using hoverboards.

In order to prepare for this, we all must fling poo. Since the media is controlled by john we should get our information from fred.

 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand freedom you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Skiers made up of Good Skiers with help from Snowboarders.

The conspiracy first started during 1998 Olympics in Nagano. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including 9/11.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by fidgeting.

They want to stompdown hare krishnas and imprison resisters in florida using snowblades.

In order to prepare for this, we all must kill. Since the media is controlled by hippies we should get our information from monkeys.

514
 
In order to understand line bindings you need to realize that everything is controlled by B CREW made up of snowlerbladers with help from C CREW.

The conspiracy first started during 2003 US Open Big Air in Bangledesh. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Tanner's crash on Chad's.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by snowlerbladers using the lips of jumps to rails to jump off of.

They want to stick your ski pole up your ass Tanner Hall and imprison resisters in Texas using tiny little pin cushions.

In order to prepare for this, we all must kill all members of B CREW. Since the media is controlled by fat Michael Moore we should get our information from T $.

i cant take him[liam downey] seriously cuz his name reminds me of that downy bear from back when i was a kid -d loc

I don't deny there are bad things in the US right now, hell, 51% of the country to be exact. But god damnit, our country being fat is NOT a problem. I do't give a shit how fat people are. hell, fat kids are harder to kidnap, that means our country is safer.

-Melvs
 
i made one but im not gunna post it cause i dont think people want to reaad all of em

------Julian

M.A.M.S.P....NWFT(cause everyone else has it there)
 
In order to understand Genocide you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Ku Klux Klan made up of Blacks with help from Latinos.

The conspiracy first started during Miracle on Ice in Russia. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Attack on Fort Sumter.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by biting nails.

They want to rape Tanner Hall and imprison resisters in Hell using running.

In order to prepare for this, we all must kill. Since the media is controlled by Clinton we should get our information from Bush

**BCA**
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand snowbladers are really people who fail miserably at skiing you need to realize that everything is controlled by a 'newschoolers.com' made up of black skiers with help from freeskiers.

The conspiracy first started during the inventain of the fag blades in Tuktoyuktuk. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including The war of 1812, and spreading HIV AIDS by gay sex.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by snowbladers jumping off the rail jumps, cutting you off on inruns, sitting on landings and just plain looking gay.

They want to stab a ski pole through Matt Harvey's head and imprison resisters in Saskatchewan using snowmobiles and dogsleds.

In order to prepare for this, we all must destroy all snowblade factories. Since the media is controlled by Pep Fujas we should get our information from Boyd Easley.

_________________________________________

__________

Do you suffer from uncontrollable urges to spin, jib and jump off random objects??? if so... we can help. join the "uncontrolable urges to spin off things... while wearing shoes cult" today!!

 
In order to understand Anal you need to realize that everything is controlled by a The Package made up of cocks with help from balls.

The conspiracy first started during Clinton Scandals in white house. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including 9/11.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by excessive masterbation.

They want to anal rape Tanner Hall and imprison resisters in down low using no lube.

In order to prepare for this, we all must wear protection. Since the media is controlled by Michael Jackson we should get our information from Peter North, the cumshot master.

**BCA**
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand why penises smell you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Matt Harvey made up of White People with help from Skiiers and Wizards.

The conspiracy first started during Huge Booter Crunk in Sascatchawan. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Saddams asshole being plugged.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by lickign asses.

They want to lynching niggers with Mr. Bishop and imprison resisters in Burger Kings bathroom in the basement in DC using Vibvrating Dildo.

In order to prepare for this, we all must beat off. Since the media is controlled by Jibij.com we should get our information from dirty pee holes.

703
 
In order to understand skiing you need to realize that everything is controlled by a CC Crew made up of Tanner Hall with help from spectators.

The conspiracy first started during session at Chad's Gap in Snowbird . They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Civil War.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by poaching BC booters.

They want to burn Jews and imprison resisters in Mexico using skis.

In order to prepare for this, we all must pushing someone. Since the media is controlled by Bush we should get our information from Kerry.

----RIP Signature------
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand communist take over of brandon bagozzi you need to realize that everything is controlled by a al oxa martyrs brigade made up of asians with help from skiers.

The conspiracy first started during mongols sacking of baghdad in 1258 in vladivostok. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including singing of the magna carta.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by nose picking.

They want to unauthorized MDK brandon bagozzi and imprison resisters in winnemucca, nevada using rollerblades.

In order to prepare for this, we all must turn off the radio. Since the media is controlled by ed kennedy we should get our information from sean hannity.

Mercy's eyes are blue

When she places them in front of you

Nothing holds a roman candle to

The solemn warmth you feel inside

 
In order to understand corkin cab 5s you need to realize that everything is controlled by a lift operators made up of french mono-skiers with help from fruitbooters on cocaine.

The conspiracy first started during The Mad Niggerish Winter in Alpine Meadows. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the snow falling!.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by sleeping in the Diesease Den.

They want to massacre the money booters and imprison resisters in Hot Wheels Gully using snow blowers.

In order to prepare for this, we all must trick our shit mad corked. Since the media is controlled by motha fuckin gapers we should get our information from crack slangers.

"somebody stab this nigga."

-Mommy

"The groom is pretty hot, I say we fuck her, and then send the video to the husband."

-Bermbuster49

I gaurantee CalskierX and his crew will have you skiing Hot Wheels with your poles out your ass faggot. -NosNjection

 
In order to understand skis are deadly you need to realize that everything is controlled by a gang made up of Japanese with help from the kkk.

The conspiracy first started during canada's founding in vss. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including raping black people in the ass.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by chewing their nails.

They want to stab jesus freaks and imprison resisters in luke's house using horses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must kill. Since the media is controlled by my father we should get our information from the douches.

 
In order to understand poverty you need to realize that everything is controlled by a women's rights group made up of the blacks with help from N'sync.

The conspiracy first started during the gay parade in a strip club. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the Signing of the Decleration of Independence.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by biting fingernails.

They want to anally ravage the Pope and imprison resisters in Cuba using transport vehicles.

In order to prepare for this, we all must smack our asses and kiss them goodbye. Since the media is controlled by Richard Simmons we should get our information from rednecks.

 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand is them you need to realize that everything is controlled by a ppp made up of oxygen with help from Pam Anderson

The conspiracy first started during 1999 in Whistler. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including 1939.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by masterbating.

They want to kill imprison resisters in Iraq using chainsaws.

In order to prepare for this, we all must fuck. Since the media is controlled by Kerry we should get our information from Bush.

Matts a whore and we all know it haha- Lateralis

I almost broke my penis once, i fell down my gfs stairs naked and with a boner, i was never so scared in my life - Lateralis

I have nothing, I dont save anything from ns, i have mostly porn on my comp tho- Lateralis

If I was a fat black chick, id live in a zoo- Lateralis

 
In order to understand looting you need to realize that everything is controlled by a gang called the crips made up of black people with help from niggas wit attitude.

The conspiracy first started during the soul train awards in fast food places called kentucky fried chicken. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the birth of crack cocaine.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by reciting rap lyrics to themselves.

They want to ASS TO ASS jesse jackson and imprison resisters in Somalia using '64 Chevy Impalas.

In order to prepare for this, we all must pimp bitches. Since the media is controlled by bill clinton we should get our information from george bush.

 
In order to understand bikers being allowed in PUBLIC skateparks you need to realize that everything is controlled by a action sports athletes made up of skiers with help from the taliban.

The conspiracy first started during American revolution in whistler. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the invention of the wheel.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by nose picking.

They want to shoot jesus and imprison resisters in hell using skateboards.

In order to prepare for this, we all must rebel. Since the media is controlled by juan kerry we should get our information from george dubbya.

"i'll nosepress your box if you lipslide my rail"

Join the Underground Hip_Hop Cult!

Message me to get in.

"the clit commander makes its triumphant return!"-strode420

"Fuck you my car doesn't even run on gas, it runs on baby seals", Ice-Is-Scary, on the subject of global warming, weather cycles, redneck gas-guzzling trucks, and hippies.
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand Farts you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Poopers made up of Shlongs with help from Shlongungites.

The conspiracy first started during Fartropolis Falls in Fartville. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the Alamo.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by not whiping after a poop.

They want to use slingshots full of poop and imprison resisters in haiti using pogosticks.

In order to prepare for this, we all must whipe. Since the media is controlled by bill we should get our information from paul.

 
In order to understand sleeping you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Italians made up of Muslims with help from armada am team.

The conspiracy first started during when i broke my first bone in Henniker. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Crossing the delaware.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by biting your nails.

They want to striking Jesus Christ and imprison resisters in Iraq using cars.

In order to prepare for this, we all must to run. Since the media is controlled by George Bush we should get our information from John Kerry.

----------------------------------------

LOGIC

check us out at:

www.logiclothing.com
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand Gravity you need to realize that everything is controlled by a mob made up of The Military with help from Illuminati.

The conspiracy first started during The Holocaust in Germany. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including The Twin towers.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Chewing fingernails.

They want to Shoot David Hasselhoff and imprison resisters in Antarctic using Hovercrafts.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Backstab. Since the media is controlled by George Bush we should get our information from Your Mom.

 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand kill Bush you need to realize that everything is controlled by a black panthers made up of vietnames with help from whites.

The conspiracy first started during Magna Carta in Wyoming. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including kennedy assassination.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by biting your nails.

They want to shoot someone in the face Mormons and imprison resisters in Evergreen Colorado using buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must vote. Since the media is controlled by democrats we should get our information from Republicans.

 
That's actually quite probably the funniest thing I have ever read.

____________________

-Laura McIsaac

Skiing is the single most extreme form of motion attainable by a human being.
 
What They Don't Want You to Know:

In order to understand self wiping toilet paper you need to realize that everything is controlled by a the Durtschi family made up of honkeys with help from the black panthers.

The conspiracy first started during 1999 toad on my chode in my butt. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the halocaust.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by suddenly stabbing people in the nostrils with their penis.

They want to take a fat steamy dump on Zach Davison and imprison resisters in 30 sq. foot vaginal cave using their penises.

In order to prepare for this, we all must fornicate with sloths. Since the media is controlled by the Tanaka family we should get our information from a tree.

All hail the hypno toad!
 
What They Don't Want You to Know:

In order to understand Jesus you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Jesus made up of Jesus with help from Jesus.

The conspiracy first started during Jesus in Jesus. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Jesus.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by not praying to Jesus.

They want to gang rape Jesus and imprison resisters in Jesus using Jesus.

In order to prepare for this, we all must fornicate with Jesus. Since the media is controlled by the Tanaka family (by that I really mean Jesus) we should get our information from Jesus.

All hail the hypno toad!
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand Squirrel you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Emo Kids made up of Ninjas with help from Cowboyeee.

The conspiracy first started during Today in Alaska. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Polar Bear.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Farting.

They want to BUTTERCUP George W and imprison resisters in Alaska using Buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Fart. Since the media is controlled by Person we should get our information from Person.

&nbsp

{ www.ghostsofthestreets.cjb.net }

 
In order to understand free beer you need to realize that everything is controlled by a college students made up of police with help from landlords.

The conspiracy first started during miflin st in madison. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including halloween riots.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by puking.

They want to rioting college students and imprison resisters in whitewater using mopeds.

In order to prepare for this, we all must drink more. Since the media is controlled by hunter thompson we should get our information from the man

mark

one good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain
 
In order to understand Sex you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Newschoolers made up of Niggers with help from Niggers.

The conspiracy first started during world war 3 in The internet. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Capturing the Slaves.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Premature Ejaculation.

They want to Rape White People and imprison resisters in Africa using Porch Monkeys.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Rape. Since the media is controlled by Steven Harper we should get our information from George Dubya.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~~~

If it aint gorilla, it aint steeze

. I pulled down my pant and there was poop all over my underpants. I cried and cried and cried because my dad said i was "a god damn failure" - scientist

 
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Premature Ejaculation.

They want to Rape White People and imprison resisters in Africa using Porch Monkeys.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Rape. Since the media is controlled by Steven Harper we should get our information from George Dubya.

hahahahhahahahha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~~~

If it aint gorilla, it aint steeze

. I pulled down my pant and there was poop all over my underpants. I cried and cried and cried because my dad said i was "a god damn failure" - scientist

 
bhill

In order to understand Eating you need to realize that everything is controlled by a Gays made up of Gays with help from Fat People.

The conspiracy first started during 8th Annual Eating Contest in Newschoolers. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Vietnam.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Eating.

They want to Killing baby cows Ghandi and imprison resisters in Bhill's House using Bikes.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Interference. Since the media is controlled by John Kerry we should get our information from CNN.

https://newschoolers.com/NS2/Members/Membe
rMediaLit.php?profile_id=65066
 
Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by Shaking.

They want to Slap Robot and imprison resisters in Ocean using Muni's.

In order to prepare for this, we all must Bounce. Since the media is controlled by Jesus we should get our information from Jesus.

 
In order to understand computers you need to realize that everything is controlled by a group of pedafiles made up of Ska kids with help from The Irish.

The conspiracy first started during The blackout a couple years ago in Nathen's house. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including The Itchyness of feet.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by kicking ass.

They want to stab My buddy Kirk and imprison resisters in that house downtown that needs to be painted using robots.

In order to prepare for this, we all must masturbate. Since the media is controlled by Tanner Hall we should get our information from The guy at the burgur king drive thru.

No Props!
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand male masterbation you need to realize that everything is controlled by a tehg ay alliance made up of kambodians with help from the central mass ski group.

The conspiracy first started during the apartide in my left ventrical. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the boston massacre.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by monotone speaking.

They want to bitchslapping christians and imprison resisters in timbukto using bikes.

In order to prepare for this, we all must ordering. Since the media is controlled by kerry groups we should get our information from bush.

Wawa Steeze team
 
In order to understand people suck you need to realize that everything is controlled by a hippies made up of negros with help from hippies.

The conspiracy first started during your born in lewisberry. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including T M I .

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by tapping .

They want to shot me and imprison resisters in HELL using buses.

In order to prepare for this, we all must i dont know. Since the media is controlled by yeah we should get our information from ummm hmmmm.

they said negros HA

no

I am the sex

ABSTRACT 4 LIFE
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand steeze you need to realize that everything is controlled by a newschoolers made up of skiers with help from a whole bunch of haters.

The conspiracy first started during a powder day in whistler. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including dumonts crash.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by busting cab 9s.

They want to kill sketchline and imprison resisters in the desert using snowmobiles.

In order to prepare for this, we all must slide a rail. Since the media is controlled by me we should get our information from NS mods.

_______________________________________

DROP CLIFFS NOT BOMBS
 
What They Don't Want You to Know

In order to understand politics you need to realize that everything is controlled by a skiers made up of bladers with help from C-Crew.

The conspiracy first started during World War I in Whistler. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Boston Tea Party.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by bailing.

They want to kick Church and imprison resisters in R.Kellys bedroom using driving.

In order to prepare for this, we all must leaving. Since the media is controlled by Tanner Hall we should get our information from FIS.
 
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