we had to do this for english class in 15 minutes as an in class activity. the goal was to take the poem and use some of the lines but modify it in a very lame and witty way
here's what i came up with
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
A man with multi-racial adopted children confronted his spouse.
Ten stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that whichever holiday figure would soon be there.
The man had been good to the world and his kin,
Adopting all of these children was certainly not a sin,
But some divine creature punished him this Eve,
By giving him eight children who all needed to believe.
Two were Jewish and demanded eight gifts
Yet two were so poor they did not understand thrift
Two of them believed in jolly Saint Nicholas
While two worshipped some weird creature—it was getting ridiculous
But then, in a twinkling, he heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of what he thought were hooves
“It’s a miracle, it’s wonderful” to his kids he exclaimed
And he ran upstairs only to become rather ashamed
For in his struggle over the adopted believers
He realized he had become an over achiever
And amidst the confusion by which rules to abide
He let his biological daughter go by the wayside.
She stomped on the roof with a carefully lit match
One that the father attempted to snatch.
“God dammit dad you did it again,
you forgot I existed all because of them”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
Due to a lack of moisture easily ignite and glow in the sky,
For she had carefully planned her intricate revenge
And for her neglect on Christmas she needed to avenge.
