heidi ho neighbours
Well, the last 2 weeks have been quite the stress trip. In between
finding a place to stay in calgary until I could leave for vancouver,
finding a place for my 10 bags, suitcases, bike and skis, making sure I
get a bus ticket and get to vancouver by may 12, recruiting german
tourists to smuggle my excess baggage on board, I somehow managed to
snap my 2000$ bike frame in half. Oh yeah, I amaze myself on the regular.
i'll do a little catching up:
stayed at mark, brad, and tanner's in cow town (friends from ottawa), we
smoked way too much pot, played hockey in the kitchen, and bummed
around in their tiny civic. Had to leave all my bags in the back of Robs
pickup for 2 days in a sketchy alley on 17th...Crammed all of it into
the civic to the bus station, hid my hemp plant under a wal mart (grrrrr)
bag, giving up the seat next to me to my plant, ensuring a place to
sleep in the hellishly crowded greyhond hehehe, and sneaking my bags on
with the help of michael and his gf, I pulled a 16 hr bus ride to
vancouver. i woke up steve in kelowna at 8 am on a stopover, oh yeah, he
liked it. Hey, I had an urgent mesage! (he sucks donkey cock hehe) So
in van, my uncle picked me up and then took me to his boat on the ocean.
We went for a drive and threw out the crab traps. 20 min later we had 5
keepers (6 1/4 inch shell) and we cooked them up along with a beautiful
piece of salmon he caught in the fraser. man, i was livin it up. dinner
of crab and salmon in a boat on the ocean after a hell bus ride? yes.
yes. Steve (my cuz) took me out to a club in Surrey (Slurrey) called
Ozone (Hozone), and we preceeded to get loaded on 99 cent highballs. Ive
never seen so many ho's. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't 100% true. All
the guys there were tough lookin muscle guys looking for fights and the
girls had absolutely no self respect. I tried to pick this one girl up,
and I took the respect angle...which backfired worse than I could have
imagined. as I was dancing with her (no rinding, no touching even) I
told her she looked the most interesting in the bar and was hella hot.
This other guy that was with us comes up behind her and slaps her ass.
He doesn't know her. She turns around and starts making out with him.
wtf.....screw this shit. So I focus on drinking. As we leave, we're
getting in the car, and theres a few guys and a girl in front of our
truck, the girl is wrapped around some guy. Steve goes Hold On, and
walks over to them. Steps up and gets right between them, putting his
arm around the girl. The guys is shocked, doesn't know what to do, so he
starts laughing cause it was so ridiculous....we get steve in the car,
and as we're driving away, he slaps me in the face outta nowhere. It's
on. We backseat fight all the way to mcdonalds, cause steve says he's
paying. Every time I started beating on him he would say time out.....and
then slap me in the face again when I would stop. The driver is getting
right pissed. We reach the pick up window and steve has no money. haha.
we get dropped off and proceed to have a royal rumble on the front lawn,
steve throwing wild punches and almost falling over when he misses. We
were covered in bruises the next morn. I still am.
Right now im sitting in a room in china watching bricklayers out my
window. im in suzhou, 1 hour north of shanghai.
The flight (28 hrs transit) knocked me out. here's a summary:
Got on a 747 on japan airlines (I flew them just like you told me 2
alexa!) and took off. I was in the last seat on the back of the plane. i
watched a 30 min program on how to eat sushi, and I scribbled as much
as i can:
- Girls should sit on the left (it's a superior position) and the
entertainer sits on the right.
- Never talk about other sushi restaurants
- Order what you want the 1st time, and after order chef's special
- be well dressed and clean
- Make reservations (usually same day)
- know something about sushi before you go in
- warm sake to drink
- use chopsticks (aviod the fishy hand lovin later on)
- Turn the piece of sushi 90 degrees to the left before putting in mouth
- fish skin is only available near closing time..mmmm..?
- There are 7 free items on the menu (i only got a few) which all end in
'ri':
1. ga-ri - ?
2. aga-ri - green tea
3. sha-ri - rice
4. ka-ri - ?
5. otsu-ri - ?
6. madoi-ri - Thanks for your patronage
7. ?
ok.
on with it.
im in the best seat for a crash I think. has anyone ever survived an
ocean crash? booze is free! 2 bottles of wine and 3 beers later i think
i might be drunk. Oh yeah, get the chicken, trust me. If theres no
smoking on planes, why are there ashtrays in the armrests? I gain more
respect for the japanese culture all the time. They put braille on beer
cans!!! amazing.. so considerate. As I look out my toilet bowl sized
window over the pacific ocean, listening to vivaldi four seasons, i look
down and see the vastness of the ocean. you can't grasp it's size until
you fly 9 hrs over it..or sail across it for endless months (You're
crazy octavia!!). I look up. The sky is not blue, it's black. We're that
close to space. it's surreal. I wonder if you would survive a skydive
from up here.... im as far from my planet as Ill ever be....maybe..
I see the giant permanent cloud of pollution that is sitting over most
of asia and india. it starts miles off the coast...it's a sickly
coloured haze.....gross...
So I arrive in shangai, on the sinking airport that china has built at a
cost of billions..
the air here is gross, it stinks, and makes you nauseous. It's midnight
here, and for me it's 8 am. we wander the street trying to find a way to
get to suzhou (2 hrs away). the train station is closed, and people are
sleeping on the ground waiting for it to open. Theres piss all over the
street and I don't feel like walking around aimlessly. we do anyway. my
dad and brother are trying to talk to someone to drive us back. They've
been here since sept, and can't even figure out how to get home. my bro
knows about 3 sentences. 'no, go away' 'Lower price' and 'no, leave me
alone'. We find a guy do drive us for 350$ (60$ can) and we're off. The
entire drive the raunchiest sewer smell invades my body. Sick... what am
I doing here.... But not to worry, we arrive, and we're staying in a
nice area of town, near the university.
This morning I wake up, and the first place my parents take me...wiat
for it..... the barbershop. get a haircut hippie! ....i get a massage
and then out come the scissors......30 minutes of cutting, and they have
slaughterted my style. i feel like im in grade 2 again with a mushroom
cut. i might wait on sending pics out...
I walk home and stop for a snack in a restaurant called lonley Planet (it
had nothing to do with lonley plnet, and wasn't even in lonley planet).
I look at their aquariums...filled with live prawns, tiny crabs, giant
bullfrogs, long necked turtles, sea snakes, goldfish, and some other
fish that look like carp. probably from the 'river' behing the
restaurant..really a giant open sewer.
i get wonton soup, rice and a beer.
Thats it.
Until next time
love, peace, and chaos
Shawn
“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit�
Activism without chaos? or Chaos without activism?
'The problem with today's youth is not that our fathers don't believe in us, but that we do not believe in our fathers.' - Me.
Well, the last 2 weeks have been quite the stress trip. In between
finding a place to stay in calgary until I could leave for vancouver,
finding a place for my 10 bags, suitcases, bike and skis, making sure I
get a bus ticket and get to vancouver by may 12, recruiting german
tourists to smuggle my excess baggage on board, I somehow managed to
snap my 2000$ bike frame in half. Oh yeah, I amaze myself on the regular.
i'll do a little catching up:
stayed at mark, brad, and tanner's in cow town (friends from ottawa), we
smoked way too much pot, played hockey in the kitchen, and bummed
around in their tiny civic. Had to leave all my bags in the back of Robs
pickup for 2 days in a sketchy alley on 17th...Crammed all of it into
the civic to the bus station, hid my hemp plant under a wal mart (grrrrr)
bag, giving up the seat next to me to my plant, ensuring a place to
sleep in the hellishly crowded greyhond hehehe, and sneaking my bags on
with the help of michael and his gf, I pulled a 16 hr bus ride to
vancouver. i woke up steve in kelowna at 8 am on a stopover, oh yeah, he
liked it. Hey, I had an urgent mesage! (he sucks donkey cock hehe) So
in van, my uncle picked me up and then took me to his boat on the ocean.
We went for a drive and threw out the crab traps. 20 min later we had 5
keepers (6 1/4 inch shell) and we cooked them up along with a beautiful
piece of salmon he caught in the fraser. man, i was livin it up. dinner
of crab and salmon in a boat on the ocean after a hell bus ride? yes.
yes. Steve (my cuz) took me out to a club in Surrey (Slurrey) called
Ozone (Hozone), and we preceeded to get loaded on 99 cent highballs. Ive
never seen so many ho's. I wouldn't say it if it wasn't 100% true. All
the guys there were tough lookin muscle guys looking for fights and the
girls had absolutely no self respect. I tried to pick this one girl up,
and I took the respect angle...which backfired worse than I could have
imagined. as I was dancing with her (no rinding, no touching even) I
told her she looked the most interesting in the bar and was hella hot.
This other guy that was with us comes up behind her and slaps her ass.
He doesn't know her. She turns around and starts making out with him.
wtf.....screw this shit. So I focus on drinking. As we leave, we're
getting in the car, and theres a few guys and a girl in front of our
truck, the girl is wrapped around some guy. Steve goes Hold On, and
walks over to them. Steps up and gets right between them, putting his
arm around the girl. The guys is shocked, doesn't know what to do, so he
starts laughing cause it was so ridiculous....we get steve in the car,
and as we're driving away, he slaps me in the face outta nowhere. It's
on. We backseat fight all the way to mcdonalds, cause steve says he's
paying. Every time I started beating on him he would say time out.....and
then slap me in the face again when I would stop. The driver is getting
right pissed. We reach the pick up window and steve has no money. haha.
we get dropped off and proceed to have a royal rumble on the front lawn,
steve throwing wild punches and almost falling over when he misses. We
were covered in bruises the next morn. I still am.
Right now im sitting in a room in china watching bricklayers out my
window. im in suzhou, 1 hour north of shanghai.
The flight (28 hrs transit) knocked me out. here's a summary:
Got on a 747 on japan airlines (I flew them just like you told me 2
alexa!) and took off. I was in the last seat on the back of the plane. i
watched a 30 min program on how to eat sushi, and I scribbled as much
as i can:
- Girls should sit on the left (it's a superior position) and the
entertainer sits on the right.
- Never talk about other sushi restaurants
- Order what you want the 1st time, and after order chef's special
- be well dressed and clean
- Make reservations (usually same day)
- know something about sushi before you go in
- warm sake to drink
- use chopsticks (aviod the fishy hand lovin later on)
- Turn the piece of sushi 90 degrees to the left before putting in mouth
- fish skin is only available near closing time..mmmm..?
- There are 7 free items on the menu (i only got a few) which all end in
'ri':
1. ga-ri - ?
2. aga-ri - green tea
3. sha-ri - rice
4. ka-ri - ?
5. otsu-ri - ?
6. madoi-ri - Thanks for your patronage
7. ?
ok.
on with it.
im in the best seat for a crash I think. has anyone ever survived an
ocean crash? booze is free! 2 bottles of wine and 3 beers later i think
i might be drunk. Oh yeah, get the chicken, trust me. If theres no
smoking on planes, why are there ashtrays in the armrests? I gain more
respect for the japanese culture all the time. They put braille on beer
cans!!! amazing.. so considerate. As I look out my toilet bowl sized
window over the pacific ocean, listening to vivaldi four seasons, i look
down and see the vastness of the ocean. you can't grasp it's size until
you fly 9 hrs over it..or sail across it for endless months (You're
crazy octavia!!). I look up. The sky is not blue, it's black. We're that
close to space. it's surreal. I wonder if you would survive a skydive
from up here.... im as far from my planet as Ill ever be....maybe..
I see the giant permanent cloud of pollution that is sitting over most
of asia and india. it starts miles off the coast...it's a sickly
coloured haze.....gross...
So I arrive in shangai, on the sinking airport that china has built at a
cost of billions..
the air here is gross, it stinks, and makes you nauseous. It's midnight
here, and for me it's 8 am. we wander the street trying to find a way to
get to suzhou (2 hrs away). the train station is closed, and people are
sleeping on the ground waiting for it to open. Theres piss all over the
street and I don't feel like walking around aimlessly. we do anyway. my
dad and brother are trying to talk to someone to drive us back. They've
been here since sept, and can't even figure out how to get home. my bro
knows about 3 sentences. 'no, go away' 'Lower price' and 'no, leave me
alone'. We find a guy do drive us for 350$ (60$ can) and we're off. The
entire drive the raunchiest sewer smell invades my body. Sick... what am
I doing here.... But not to worry, we arrive, and we're staying in a
nice area of town, near the university.
This morning I wake up, and the first place my parents take me...wiat
for it..... the barbershop. get a haircut hippie! ....i get a massage
and then out come the scissors......30 minutes of cutting, and they have
slaughterted my style. i feel like im in grade 2 again with a mushroom
cut. i might wait on sending pics out...
I walk home and stop for a snack in a restaurant called lonley Planet (it
had nothing to do with lonley plnet, and wasn't even in lonley planet).
I look at their aquariums...filled with live prawns, tiny crabs, giant
bullfrogs, long necked turtles, sea snakes, goldfish, and some other
fish that look like carp. probably from the 'river' behing the
restaurant..really a giant open sewer.
i get wonton soup, rice and a beer.
Thats it.
Until next time
love, peace, and chaos
Shawn
“Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit�
Activism without chaos? or Chaos without activism?
'The problem with today's youth is not that our fathers don't believe in us, but that we do not believe in our fathers.' - Me.
ABLO:.
