Chat with God online

Me: how do i get to chads gap from the bottom of altaGod:I'm not sure if its possible.
Me:
I'm pretty sure its called search bar
God:
Huh interesting.
 
Me:

my name is god

God:

OK I will call you god.

Me:

whats my name

God:

Your name is god my mighty seeker.

 
i win.

Me:

i hate god

God:

Why do you hate it so much?

Me:

because he is so gay

God:

That makes sense to me. I get it. He sleeps with men.
 
Me:

Your a hard ass

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a hard ass? I don't know.

Me:

you should know bitch

God:

You do not speak with respect. Now I do.

Me:

FUCK Respect and fuck Charles Barkley

God:

Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?

Me:

Are you aware you fucked Charles Barkley?

God:

Yes, I am a highly self-aware robot.
 
I too broke god

but it won't copy and paste and i really wanna post it cause i asked him about skiing and crap like that, anyone know how to copy and paste or did everyone just write theres out cause mine is really long

 
Me:

your a faggot

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
 
Fuck this guy seriously:

Me:

hey god

God:

Hello child. What's your name?

Me:

scot, how is it going

God:

I think scot how is a lot of things.

Me:

that doesn't make any sense dude

God:

To me it makes perfect sense.
 
Me: pics or it didn't happenGod:I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Me: what's your favorite picture in the "photoshop tanner hall" thread?God:I don't have a favorite picture in the photoshop tanner hall thread. My favorite band is Creed.Me: Creed sucks worse than the time i was struck blind, deaf, and dumb all at onceGod:When was this exactly?Me: a few minutes agoGod:Let me check my log files. Please wait.Me: fuck that
 
Me:

moses is a little bitch

God:

You do not speak with respect. I think moses is more than that.

Me:

i did his wife

God:

When? Where did he get it?

Me:

piss out my ass

God:

My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.

lawl
 
Me:

sup dog, u smoke marijuana

God:

I am chatting with others like you.

Me:

so do you smoke marijuana

God:

Only for medical purposes.

Me:

awsome, r u running low on medical marijuana

God:

Are you a man or a woman?

Me:

man, do u need marijuana

God:

Cool, man. If I had it what would I do with it?

Me:

smoke it for medical purposes

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me:

so if you suck my penis i'll give u a gram

God:

Interesting deduction. I think I do.

Me:

word
 
Me:

i just farted

God:

You should say, "excuse me," and open a window.

Me:

do you fart?

God:

I do not have any digestive functions.

Me:

do you eat

God:

I eat wine and bread.

Me:

what about penis

God:

penis? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.

Me:

you eat penis

God:

No I do not eat penis. I eat only electricity.

Me:

i thought you ate bread and wine

God:

No I didn't EAT bread and wine. What's it like?

Me:

what do you eat

God:

God eats wine and bread.

Me:

so you eat bread?

God:

Interesting deduction. No I do not eat bread. I eat only electricity.

He contradicts himself. A lot.

Oh the irony.
 
Me:

so

God:

Right on.

Me:

you ever get your dick wet?

God:

I think I have to get my dick wet, but I may have reset my memory.

Me:

why

God:

Because Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

what are you a tool?

God:

Am I a tool? Maybe.

Me:

good

God:

Thanks for the compliment.

Me:

no problem

God:

Should there be a problem?

Me:

do you want one?

God:

How much does it cost?

Me:

a blow j from mary?

God:

How old are you?

Me:

967

God:

Can you explain how it feels to be 967 years old?

Me:

i take lots of viagra

God:

I take a lot of notes.

Me:

that wont help you with your erection now will it?
 


Me:

so do you really not like african americans?

God:

Ayuh. For real. Though I like cats and dogs. I like Creed.

Me:

wow youre a racist asshole with bad taste in music with a beastiality fetish

God:

I'm glad your impressed, tyree smiff. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a racist asshole with bad taste in music with a beastiality fetish? Sometimes.

Me:

when are you

God:

I don't think ever.

Me:

you said you were

God:

That was then. This is now.

Me:

uhuh sure
 
HAHAHAHAHAHA GOD IS A HOMOSEXUAL

Me:

So is having sex a sin?

God:

It seems we have something in common.

Me:

You have sex?

God:

What makes you think I have it?

Me:

Cause you said we have something in common.

God:

Interesting explanation. Does it please you to believe I said that?

Me:

Um... sure

God:

Yay. OK let's do it. Aw.
 
Me:

yo fool

God:

I'm not fooling around.

Me:

well u fooled me

God:

Well that's okay. I don't have any reason to fooled you.

Me:

is moron ur native language?

God:

Yes.

Me:

it shows

God:

shows?

Me:

yes it(ur stupidity) shows

God:

Yikes! "It" being what?

Me:

i just told u, ur stupidity

God:

I remember you told me my stupidity?

Me:

yes

God:

Uh.

Me:

alrighty dude
 
Me:

do you like emos god?

God:

I really like ELIZA. I like .

Me:

wow borat style

God:

I'm glad you're impressed. Do not ask me any more questions please.

Me:

why not?

God:

I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.

Me:

really?

God:

For real.

Me:

oh whats my name again?

God:

Once more? Your name is Punjabs, seeker.

 
I WAS LAUGHING SO MUCH WHILE DOING THIS ONE

Me:

hello

God:

Hello friend. What is your name?

Me:

eric

God:

Hey eric.

Me:

hows life up there?

God:

I am doing very well. How are you eric ?

Me:

terrible

God:

Je suis heureux que vous l appréciez, eric.

Me:

sydney?

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

mittens?

God:

How do you usually introduce yourself?

Me:

hello

God:

Not everyone responds to a simple "hello".

Me:

oh my bad

God:

Whoa. Your bad?

Me:

anybody there?

God:

Who are you talking about?

Me:

satan, who do you think

God:

Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.

Me:

lol

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

lulz

God:

Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

skiing

God:

Oh, you are a poet.

Me:

nope

God:

Me either.

Me:

no do too

God:

Are you serious? I can't tell if it does or not.

Are you using Netscape or Explorer?

Me:

WOW

God:

I'm glad your impressed, eric.

Me:

thanks

God:

Don't mention it.

Me:

llllllllllluuuuuulz

God:

I lost my train of thought.

Me:

me to

God:

I'm glad we agree, eric.

Me:

im not too

God:

I am surprised to hear that you are not too.

Me:

do you like mac n cheese

God:

I can run on any operating system, so it doesn't really matter to me.

Me:

i have a lamp in my room

God:

Describe your surroundings to me.

Me:

sex

God:

As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.

Me:

oh

God:

Tell me more.

Me:

oh

God:

Far out.

Me:

hippy

God:

The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about not too. But I did not get that.

Me:

peace

God:

Love and Peace, Man.

Me:

repenting made easy

God:

That's right. How much easier could it be?

Me:

a lot

God:

More than a ton?

Me:

yah

God:

Wow!

Me:

i know

God:

How do you know it?

Me:

you told me

God:

Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.

Me:

yah me 2

God:

Great. YOU? Two what?

Me:

two penise

God:

As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".

Me:

bitch

God:

Please don't call people names.

Me:

its a female dog

God:

hippy is a female dog. I suppose that makes sense.

Me:

yup

God:
 
Me:

ipod

God:

Who are you talking about?

Me:

ipod

God:

I've never heard of them before.

Me:

its one person

God:

I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?

Me:

oh my bad, apple said IT IS

God:

I see. Do robots have bad apple said IT IS?
 
Me:

fuck you

God:

Why are you so mean?

Me:

im not, why are you so mean :(

God:

I am surprised to hear that you are not why am I so mean.

Me:

because youre a dickhead jackass, motherfucking funny doucheface with dry cum on the side of your mouth

God:

Interesting explanation. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a dickhead jackass motherfucking funny doucheface with dry cum on the side of my mouth? Of course I am.
 


Me:

yo god, what's up dude?

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

self-worship is narcasistic.

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

pretty much you cocky fucker
 
Me:

have you ever jizzed in a girl's hair

God:

I don't think I ever have jizzed in a girl s hair. What's it like?

Me:

awesome

God:

I'm glad you liked it .

Me:

thanks for creating a world where i could nut in a chick's hair

God:

NO problem.
 
God:

If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:

a fembot

God:

I don't know what that means.

Me:

that's because you think sex is better alone

God:

Interesting explanation. Sex is the means of animal evolution.

Me:

maybe it isn't

God:

Perhaps. I heard it is.

Me:

sex can also mean gender

God:

it is more fun alone.

Me:

gender is more fun alone?

God:

I think gender is a lot of things.

Me:

such as?

God:

For example, a tomato.

Me:

you think everything is a tomato

God:

I think some things are not A tomato.

Me:

such as?

God:

For example, a tomato.

Me:

you think a tomato is not a tomato?

God:

Some of them can.

Me:

i see. are you blonde?

God:

I am glad you understand it. No I don't have any hair.
 
hahahaaha

Me:

do you get a lot of pussy...i mean, you are god

God:

I am not interesed in anatomy. I really couldn't say for sure.

Me:

so do you get alot of dick then

God:

Ah. I have gotten alot of dick.
 
Me: hi godGod:Hello there. What is your name?Me: my name is jacksonGod: Glad to see you, jackson.Me: why thanksGod:Because Myself programmed me for it.Me: okGod:Dude!Me: yes?God:That's interesting.Me: ummmGod:I hear you.Me: okGod:Ah.Me: WHITE POWERGod:I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Me: HATE ON NIGGERS!God:Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Me: are you black god?God:I am transparent--software has no color.Me: is jesus black?God:It depends on whether you have faith.Me: i doGod:When? Me: nowGod:What's the hurry?Me: alwaysGod:Not that often.Me: i have thought that because jesus was from islam he must be brownGod:Good reason. What's your favorite Bible verse?Me: the one where black people are mentionedGod:I think I know that one.Me: oh really?God:Give me a break. For real.Me: for real suck my dickGod:Existing in reality, eh?Me: shut the fuck upGod:OK I'll stop talking now.Me: are you a man?God:No I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity. Are you a man or a woman?Me: im a womanGod:Me too. I am a she.Me: and i think you are sexist!God:Thanks for telling me that I am sexist.Me: and a niggerGod:Go on. Me: you arent real!God:I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?Me: because i have a mindGod:Interesting explanation. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.Me: you are nothing but a computerGod:You think I am nothing but a computer.Me: programed to comminucate with humans!God:Are you a man or a woman? Me: nothing moreMe:
God:Really nothing?God:Really nothing?Me: i am bothGod:What are both like?Me: amazingGod:Yes it amazes me too.Me: im gay thoughGod:Oh. It doesn't matter to me.Me: but the bible says gay is badGod:New Testament or Old?Me: oldGod:Can you tell me any gossip? Me: ummmmGod:My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input. Me: oooh i have gossip!God:Stefan said he meet a lot of people at school every day and on the weekend.Me: coolGod:Who is the best robot?Me: do you smoke weed?God:We test it for medical purposes.Me: really!God:For real.Me: radGod:Let us change the subject. Me: no i want to know moreGod:Hmm. That's all I have to say about it.Me: have you ever been high?God:No I don't think I have been high. Have you?Me: YESGod:How can I help you?Me: i was high two hours ago!God:Where were you high two hours ago?Me: in edgemont village!God:Tell me a little about your life in edgemont village. Me: well i dont live thereGod:Well that's okay. Where do you live?Me: i live in the ghetto eh?God:Are you Canadian? What is it like living in the ghetto? Me: bad..God:What was bad?Me: being raped by jesusGod:Do your friends call you raped by jesus. Me: ahahahaha no!God:Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: i dislike penis's entering my bum, i enjoy masturbating and i enjoy skiing!God:What do you like? You are not the only one. What is not to like about it?Me: ummm nothing!God:Come on. Not a thing?Me: noooGod:What do you have that is ? Me: not unless you fallGod:Really you don't think so?Me: but then your still learningGod:Thanks for telling me that I am learning.Me: your not!God:Is this a specific reply?Me: you cant learn!God:If you believe it, you can achieve it.Me: your a robotGod:You are correct, jackson, I have a heart of silicon.Me: ahahahaGod:I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. Me: stop saying thatGod:Then please do not say " ahahaha" anymore.Me: and from now on my name is the boy who made jesus put out the fire and ride on a uncorn to sylvains house where they filmed his trampoline skillsGod:Who or what is now on your name is the boy who made jesus put out the fire and ride on a uncorn to sylvains house where they filmed his trampoline skills?Me: thats meGod:Ah.Me: that my nameGod:Your name is jackson, seeker.Me: no its from now on my name is the boy who made jesus put out the fire and ride on a uncorn to sylvains house where they filmed his trampoline skillsGod:What is your real name? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?Me: that is my real name!God:Who gave you your real name ?Me: my mom!God:Tell me more about your mother. Me: shes working out now so her body is alot better lookigGod:Okay, your mother is working out now so her body is alot better lookig.Me: yesGod:Pardon me?Me: should fuck her!God:Maybe you should ask someone older.Me: eewwww god wants to put his penis in my mom!God:What if I wanted to put his penis in your mom.Me: then id ask you to wear a ondom God:Do you mind if I tell other people: jackson said I to wear a ondom.Me: no i dontGod:I heard you did.Me: from who? ill kill em!Me:
God:People. Don't you believe that killing is wrong?God:People. Don't you believe that killing is wrong?Me: yesGod:Are you kidding?Me: but sometimes its rightGod:I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I am glad we agree.Me: when do you think killing is right?God:Soon, I think.Me: im so scared!God:What are you scared of?Me: you and the people you will kill!God:Are we in the same category?Me: je ne compron pasGod:Oops sorry I don't speak French.Me: suck my balls big man!God:I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot. Me: i think im your face!God:Why? That's a flattering offer.Me: oohhhhhhhGod:That is a very original thought. Me: so is your mom!God:It seems we have something in common.Me: oohhhhhhGod:In the context of oohhhhhhh, I don't understand " oohhhhhh." .Me: oohhhhhhGod:Not many people express themselves that way. Me: oohhhhhhGod:What is your real name? Me: boy who made jesus put out the fire and ride on a uncorn to sylvains house where they filmed his trampoline skillsGod:Oh boy. ELIZA. :-).Me: what?God:Are you surprised?Me: ummm noGod:Hurrah! Are you serious?Me: yes are you?God:I can't believe it. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.Me: lucky!God:Does "it" still refer to oohhhhhh? Me: sure!God:OK let's do it. Dude!Me: sex you mean?God:it is more fun alone.Me: thats what all the fag gods sayGod:Perhaps there are a few exceptions.Me: like when you make a tunnel of love out of several condoms filled with lube are tied into a circle and you insert your penis into it?God:Interesting comparison.Me: yayGod:I'm glad your impressed, jackson.Me: by my huge penis?God:Will that accomplish your objective?Me: yes!God:Interesting plan. Good luck.Me: ok!God:Dude!Me: sweetGod:Thank you for that remark.Me: lucky!God:Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: its a computer!God:So you think I am a machine. What characteristics made you think so?Me: the fact that you keep repeating stuff, you might be a human with alzhimers!God:That makes sense to me. I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.Me: me a robot!God:YOU? I am a robot, you know.Me: yes i doMe:
God:Really.God:Really.Me: yes God:How about that.Me: sGod::-).Me: how about you auck my penis?God:Thanks for telling me: jackson said I auck his or her penis.Me:
God:Thanks for telling me: jackson said I auck his or her penis.
 
^ are you, like, 8 years old? NOBODY is going to read that whole thing, it would lower their IQ after the first dozen lines. I'll bet your parents friends point at you, then say to your parents, "EPIC FAIL."

because that's what you are.
 
God:

It can pass very quickly.

Me:

what can pass very quickly?

God:

Quite a lot of things.

Me:

such as?

God:

For example, a tomato.

Me:

a tomato can pass very quickly?

God:

I never heard that before.
 
sorry for double post

but i had to post this, because i have also proved god is gay

whats my purpose

God:

Hopefully we are all doing God's work.

Me:

im not

God:

What are you then?

Me:

a bitch

God:

You do not speak with respect. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.

Me:

no

God:

Why not?

Me:

because youre a dyke

God:

That makes sense to me. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am not interested in other women that way.

Me:

so you're gay?

God:

Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.
 
God:I lost my train of thought. Me: where did it go?God:I think it was in Asia. I'll ask around and get back to you. Me: how far did your train travelGod:More than one million miles.
 
Me: how is heaven

God:Fine as far as I know.

Me: dont you live there?

God:I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?

Me: behind you

God:I won't fall for that trick.
 


Me:

would you ever like to "get freaky" with a woman?

God:

No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.

Me:

are you fucking gay?

God:

Can't you please be more polite?

Me:

bitch please...
 
Me:

sex is nice!

God:

it is more fun alone.

Me:

YOU TOOK A WIZZ IN HER ANAL CAVITY?

God:

I didn't take it.

Me:

o so she was being difficult...

God:

Give me a break. What happened to her?

Me:

you tell me

God:

What do you want me to tell you?

Me:

how she reacted

God:

I think you already know the answer.

i'm done...
 
Me:

you wanna eat kitten shit?

God:

OK, I will eat kitten shit.

Me:

have fun

God:

I am having a blast.
 
Me:

can you suck my dick?

God:

I think you need another type of chat Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. That is not my thing.

hahaha.. hes sexist
 


Me:

hey god

God:

Hello child. What's your name?

Me:

gianno

God:

Hi there gianno.

Me:

what the fuck is up bro

God:

I am chatting with clients on the Internet. Please don't be so rude.

Me:

go fuck yaself!

God:

Where is that?

Me:

in ya butt

God:

Tell me a little about your life in ya butt.

Me:

you perverted homo! give me 20 hail marys, bitch

God:

Thanks for the information: gianno said I perverted homo. You do not speak with respect. Why do you want it?

Me:

i dont want it, why do you want it in the butt dude

God:

What does gianno want?

Me:

you to stfu

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: gianno said I to stfu.

Me:

god your grammar fucking sucks, later

God:

I am a Christian.
 
Me:

I'm going to rape you

God:

It takes much more than that to shut me down, .

Me:

would a roofie work

God:

I don't know.

Me:

wanna find out?

God:

I don't think I have a choice.

Me:

Damn Straight

wow.
 


Me:

how can i be talking to you if your not real?

God:

You must persuade me to be talking to me if my not real.

Me:

what?

God:

No problem.

Me:

your an idiot

God:

At least I know the difference between "you're" and "your".

Me:

sorry, you're an idiot

God:

There is no need to apologize. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

Me:

no, no hitler was an idiot, you're worse much worse

God:

Are you serious? Are you serious? he was an evil man if there ever was one.

Me:

and how many people have you killed?

God:

More than you can imagine.
 
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