Catholics- most awkward thing you've ever confessed to a priest...

[LostValleyPowMan]

so the other day i told my preist i had premarital relations and he said "did she masturbate you or did you masturbate yourself"- my response "uhhh a little of both i guess"- what is the weirdest thing you've ever confessed/ said to a preist / minister???

 

[ECGove]

haha thats fucking awkward

 

[Ski_Unit_19]

i always just make shit up... then the next time i go, i confess to lying... i cant lose

 

[Tinga]

lol nice strategy

 

[t-rent]

haha ive always thought about saying i killed someone or i look at porn and masterbate

 

[C.R.420]

whaaat the fuck? what kind of priest asks you if a chick jacked you off?

haha, religion is so strange these days.

 

[skiierman]

"I have a confession..."

"What is it my son?"

"You touched me..."

 

[back_woods]

said to the preist: "sometimes when I masterbate, I think of you.

wait. hold on.

Could you just turn your head to the side a bit? and moisten your lips with your tongue?"

 

[LostValleyPowMan]

ha ha

 

[2+2=5]

the priest i went to last time was stoned. his eyes were red, he was yawning, he was talkign so quietly, and he didnt even tell me to do anything infact all he did is say that im a good kid.

 

[2+2=5]

and ive killed a man befo

 

[LostValleyPowMan]

ha ha thats funny- this guy was in tie dye vestments- sicko

 

[bryceCTS]

my priest teaches latin at my school since i go to a catholic school, we were in confession and i was like father i cheated on every one of your latin tests so far this year

 

[ECGove]

^ha how'd that work out for you

 

[skitheeast1100]

well i told my priest that i made your mom cry i fucked her so hard. but he forgave me. now i just need to get your dad to forgive as well.....

 

[r5tommy]

well i confessed that i was athiest and i was only there because i went undercover in my friends like bible camp thing because hes religious and they made us all do confession, long story

 

[Black-Bandanna]

ahahahhahahahhahaha

thats fucking hilarious.

i always get out of confession somehow

 

[anna*]

never been to confession in my life. i cant imagine what some of the priests hear though, must be damn strange at times.

 

[toominator]

haha reminds me of that johnny knoxvile movie where he enters the special olympics.. he goes to confession and tells the priest that hes rigging the special olympics and the priest throws him down the stairs.. and then goes and places a bet haha

but yea we naver had the confession box thingys we had to go face to face with the priest. you always did kinda feel better after telling them something.

 

[BusyJohnSohn]

standard porn masterbation you know

 

[TheQuailman]

I said to him once, I jacked off into the fruit punch bowl and the church picnic

 

[AtomicTweaker]

yup

 

[bryceCTS]

my teachers started to watch me take tests, i kept cheating on the DL for like 2 weeks and then they forgot about it and i still cheat on mad tests

 

[Mat.]

Man religion is so sketch hahaha

 

[skipillager]

they still teach latin? haha.. nice one though.

 

[bikerocker]

my little brother and I both don't really believe in god, but he decided to go confess his sins one day and started talking about masturbation, and being an ass hole, and then started laughing uncontrollably, And the priest got all frustrated and didn't know what to do with him.