>blacktext

>you fucking kidding me

>someones gonna backtrace it

>I'll arrested by the cyber police

>consequences will never be the same
 
>Making dinner

>Start up the garlic bread

>Roll a few meatballs

>Can’t find the pasta

>Rip apart the closet and cupboards

>Collapse on the floor crying

>All the spaghetti falls out of my pocket

>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
 
03a.jpg

 
>Be 2

>Be breastfed

>Suck on nips all day erryday

>Bros don't even lift

> Immediately cum and start farting/crying

>Sex over

>Im pregnant

>mfw when Im a boy

:(
 
tumblr_m8rkv6qegw1r0rfm3.gif


>just another day derping around on newschoolers

>i just got back from a run, so I'm really sweaty

>(kidding, i'm just fat)

>see thread about sports bras

>le clicky

>proceed to drool all over

>it's fap o'clock

>lean back in chair to unzip pants

>chair almost tips over completely and i jerk forward to try and balance myself

>spaghetti falls out of my shirt pocket and onto the keyboard

>mfw the faunt got bigger
 
CryingEagle.jpg


>Be sophomore at university

>Sitting in lecture

>250 kids

>Music 133, music of the world

>Professor looks like small troll woman

>"Today we will be learning about Islamic music"

>ohgodwhy.jpg

>Playing music samples that sound like theyre out of COD or Black Hawk Down

>Displays lyrics on projector screen

>Makes class sing along with the music

>249 kids chanting in arabic

> Professor eyeballs me

> "Phil6x since youre not joining us you can do the next verse yourself"

>MFW I am expected to say "Allahu Akbar"
 
>Girl approaches

>start cumming and farting while spaghetti falls out pockets

>burst into treats

>Guy with cellphone films it and puts on youtube

>Beat rebecka friday

>I'm 15 years old

>at school on a regular day

>stay late after science class to discuss quantum physics with teacher

>realise I am late for my next class

>start to run but I am not terribly fit so I start to sweat really bad

>get to class and the teacher makes me stand infront of everyone

>realise it's penis inspection day

>teacher makes me show my penis to the class and they are all laughing

>realise there is still spaghetti on my penis from last night

>try to wipe it off as fast as possible

>start to get hard and my penis starts to hurt

>suddenly realise I am not at school and my penis is inside a wasps nest
 
>be today

>joking around at work talking like a pirate

>go store on lunch break

>see insanely hot girl who works there

>buy my shit walk to one set of automatic doors

>she catches up to tell me these doors don't work

> say "GYAR TIS BE RIGHT LANDLUBBER"

>leave before even checking for spaghetti

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Be last week

>Be at work

>Cute new girl working on second shift together since she started

>Has a boyfriend, but kept telling me it would probably end soon and drops hints she likes me

>She makes a small mistake with a customer

>"haha, I'm such a klutz!"

>"Haha, yeah, you should probably just kill yourself"

>"um, what?"

>Shift ends

>Never speaks to me again

>Had to clean up dropped spaghetti after work

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Be talking to girl I sort of like

> "hey anon i gotta questionnnnnn (:"

> "yeah? "

> "jw, would you theoretically date me?"

> hmmmmmmmmm

> D:

> Im just messing with you, sure

>oh okay thanks (:

> "yeah why do you ask?" spaghetti is boiling

> " I just feel that no one really likes me"

> shes really beautiful but no one thinks they should ask her out

> oh that sucks, well i don't see who wouldn't

>thanks

> I mean I like you and all

> oh really now? (:

> yeah, I do

>oh ok (:

> yup

> cool (:

> at this point I panicked for the dumbest reason and it continues like this for a few more minutes before "I have to go see what my dog is doing" and then i go invisible on skype

>sphaggeti propels me away from computer and into the next room

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>be 2

>be at pool with mom

>giant black man in pool

>"mommy, there is a gorilla in the pool."

>man laughs

>alpha as fuck even at 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top