Biggest lie you have ever told?

A few years ago a couple of friends and I went to Canada to party for the weekend. Right around the time one of the Jackass movies was coming out and everyone was all psyched on it. I told these two chicks that I did a few stunts in the movie and that I was flying out to L.A. in a few weeks for the premier and that I already signed a 400,000 dollar contract for the next movie.

yada yada yada... threesome.
 
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told my gf i had been with 2 girls.. a few weeks later she found a list i had drunkenly made and forgot about with the names of 25 other chicks.
 
referring to when I got caught by the cops smoking weed

"I've only smoked like three times, I swear"

and

"Of course I'm a virgin, dad"

I mean if I really thought about it I could probably find some good ones, but I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking. Anyways, they may look like they are badass claims but thats really what I got.
 
i told some guy on yahoo chat i would be the blonde with green eyes, perfect measurements, waiting for him in a red dress in central park, with a sun hat on.
 
to my ex gf at a random gas station / burger king off the interstate... "can you order us something while i fill up the car? ill be right back"
 
"It smells weird down here"

"yeah chris took a gnarly dump so we sprayed air freshener all over the place"

a few weeks after that

"I've only smoked twice, I'll never do it again."

whenever kids make me out to be a stoner to teachers:

"no, straightedge for life. I don't need that poison in my body."

In all honesty weed is the only thing I lie about or at least the only one that comes to mind.
 
I read this probably 10 times, before moving on in your post, thinking you were talking about going down on a girl, wondering why you would lie about it smelling weird, and then moved on on in your post to the second line, which made me even more confused for a minute.
 
the other day my friends and i were walking on a path deciding where to smoke a doom and this house looked like no one was living in it so we decided to smoke it behind the back porch. Right as my friend is about to light it the person living there walks out and ask us what we were doing as my friends had empty looks on their faces i quickly told the person living there that we were taking pictures for a school project as i was holding my friends iPhone aiming it at a tree. fucking clutch
 
when school year ends: hey lets do something someday in the summer . finally we never see each other... happens often
 
"it's allergies" which was about 60% true, cause I do have really crazy allergies and my eyes are red all the time
 
So that's the biggest lie you've ever told? Or, are you once again trying to make yourself sound cool by talking about all the weed you smoke?
 
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