Best Threats

shred-sesh

Member
I'm not a violent person but I do like to make threats.

I'll pour a full jar of maple syrup all over your underwear drawer, so you'll have sticky buns for the next month.
 
I'm gonna put mayo in your snowboard boots and laugh at you walking funny. HA skier revenge.
 
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
 
Ill do absolutely nothing to you and wish you a great rest of your day.

Suck on that bitches
 
13438741:cornholio said:
method man.intro

Good call

I'll fucking tie you to a fucking bedpost

with your ass cheeks spread out and shit

Right?

Put a hanger on a fucking stove and let that shit sit there

for like a half hour

Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like

Tssssssss

Yeah, I'll fucking

Yeah I'll fucking lay your nuts on a fucking dresser

Just your nuts laying on a fucking dresser

And bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat

Oh

What's up? BLOW!

I'll fucking

I'll fucking pull your fucking tongue out your fucking mouth

and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLOW!

I'll fucking

I'll fucking

I'll fucking hang you by your fucking dick

off a fucking twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker

I'll fucking

I'll fucking

sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you

and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you
 
There was this quiet kid in my class and he got picked on by this one really annoying kid. And the one day this kid like went to go flick the quiet kid's ear or something like that. The quiet kid grabbed his hand, looked into his soul, and said "If you flick my ear again, I will poop on your butthole". He's hailed as a king now.
 
topic:shred-sesh said:
I'll pour a full jar of maple syrup all over your underwear drawer, so you'll have sticky buns for the next month.

Worth noting she has done this to me before. Don't mess with shred-sesh. She's an animal.
 
You have 10 seconds to get off my property before I pump your guts full of lead.... 1 .... 2.... TEN! Gratatatatatatattata
 
"You have three seconds, exactly three fucking seconds, to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face, or I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you!!!

-R. Lee Ermey
 
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