Best Text Message Ever! Don't wax your balls

H

hemlockjibber8

Active member
From [ns name] Pete. to me via text message

" 11:00PM

Mon, Jun 23

My balls hurt.

Never wax them

ever. Ever ever

ever ever. Please

ever. Never do

it."

Peter you're so gay.

You better be getting those blow jobs everyday now.

 
Why the hell would you wax your balls in the first place. Everyone know you gotta shave down there.

but it reminds me of a story and NEVER DO THIS:

I was icing my knees back when I used to train moguls about 8/10 years ago and then I decided to put some icy hot on my knees. I just wiped my hands with I dry towel thinking I had wiped off an excess. I went to bed and my knees were feeling better, and everybody has that last scratch before they get to sleep. Nontheless I woke up about 10 minutes later screaming in pain. My balls were on fire for atleast 30 minutes. I tried cold water, i tried hot water. Nothing seemed to do the trick.

So... the moral of the story is don't mess with your balls whether it be waxing it or icy hotting em.
 
I cant see the 'removal' part of waxing going well for guys...last thing i want is my bag ripped off
 
when i was younger i talked my brother into putting bengay on his coin-purse. at first he was like "hey, this is nice.." and then i have never seen him scream so hard in my life. it was hilarious, he was running around the house to all the sinks trying to dip his nuts in to wash it off, but he couldnt get close enough to the water so eventually he curled up in the fetal poistion.
 
so this one day i was eating hot sauce out of a cup... i dont really know why but i would dip my finger in and then lik my finger.(that sounds kinda dirty). then i realized i wanted to go to the bathroom so i did the usual but i didnt realize that there was still some hotsauce on my fingers and right away my dick started burning ... and i mean BURNING. this was one of the worst pains of my entire life. then next period (this all happened at school) the dreadful pain had settled down but i had a bad stomach ache type thing. i ended up throwing up. luckily the class was outside when it all went down. so the moral of the story is never i repeat NEVER drink a cup of daves insanity hotsauce then go to the bathroom.
 
i can top that. i got revenge hot sauce in my eye at school thanks to dipping my finger in it an rubbing my eye. and i wear contacts. that was painful
 
haha my friend was like "my girl friend wouldnt give me a job cause of pubs so i shaved them...it hurt like a mofo..." it was funny cause she dumped him a few days later.... he never got it
 
When i think of waxing i imagine a nipple being torn off in the fight of the removal of the wax and paper
 
Haha, ouch, eye pains hurt so bad... But I can top that. Back before we could party at houses me and a some buddies used to go to this camp we had in the middle of ass nowhere, infested with mosquitoes but aside from that it was a good time. Eventually we got fed up with the bugs and got the most hardcore bug spray imaginable: 100% deet. For perspective, Off! DEEP WOODS, the most extreme mainstream offering, contains 25% deet. This shit practically causes cancer on contact. Before I went to sleep I was putting some on by spraying it on to my hands and then rubbing it around. I was obviously loaded, so I completely forgot this when I went to take out my contacts a few minutes later. Talk about excruciating.
 
when i was younger my mom bought me these really bomb purfumes an i was so excited i breathed in through my mouth while i sprayed it straight in to my eyes, that was awesome i was coughing and crying and i smelt beautiful
 
This one fine fellow in Kicking Horse ate some of the hottest competitions wings known to man. seriously. never washed his hands. went to a club. found a lady. fingered her... you cna figure the rest out.
 
it was a friend of a friend of mines stag and my buddy took him to get a brazilian wax and they waxed his balls also... he said part of his sac got cut torn though... ouch.
 
A friend of mine from uni had a simlar experience at his rugby club initiation (british uni rugby club guys are a bit like fratboys but more brutal and a bit more gay). The initiation involved a lot of drinking, he had already vommed and carried on drinking a few times by the time they had to do some sort of naked challenge, anyhow after a bit of running around naked and being tormented he got tabasco sauce (hot sauce) put on his japs eye. His night ended with him curled in the fetal position in the bottom of his shower, simultaneosly puking and weeping whilst trying anything he could to stop his cock hurting.

To put uni rugby boys in context our team got banned from drinking on the coach after 'dentist chairing' (pouring neat spirits straight down their neck) a fresher so much that he shat himself. nice.
 
yeah, my balls arent like covered in fucking hair either, i mean theres some but its not like a yeti
 
theres this kid on my football team that is an asshole and hes a junior. so all the seniors made him cover his dick and balls in icy hot before we went out to practice. he was in sooo much pain and he had to deal with it all through practice
 
Yea so my Dad goes to this acupuncturist a lot and bought this liquid from him that was just like icy hot but a lot stronger. Same story as everyone else and same conclusion hahaha so painful
 
same story as in icing my knees after lacrosse practice, not as in rugby guys put it on my dick ha which is just fucking brutal initiation
 
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