Best ski quote

matt sterbenz-hey man go hit that rail

me-ok

matt-wait wait, what is with those pants

me-huh, they are my pants

matt-yeah but why are they at your bellybutton

me-they arent, i guess they are kinda high but...

matt-pull them somebitches down, you arent ever gonna slide a rail with your pants all jacked up your ass, you gotta look cool man and baggy is cool.

me-(pull pants down so they are hangin off my ass)

matt-oh yeah man you are ready to go, now go slide that rail

Bob: i want Jon's autograph

me: i will see what i can do

Bob: u grab the swedish bastard by the ears and tell him bob dake wants his autograph and hand him my card
 
me- damn that girl is blown out

girl-whats that mean

me- (laughed to hard to answer)

during the same porn

girl- what's that thing

me- that would be a dildo

seriously the dumbest girl i've ever met

If you wip it out and dangle it in front of them they always come back.
 
'Skiing is all about looking good, and you can only ski as good as you look'

Loaded like a nighttrain

Flying like an aeroplane

Feeling like a spaceplane one more time tonight

 
On the lift with an odler guy talking about the old Olin skis that had a bit of turned up tail.

'Ahh you guys have twin tips eh? Well we were doing backwards backflips of clifs befor your dad was sperm in his daddys ball sack!'

Oi
 
I have had people ask me if you can ski backwards on twin tips, i wanted to slap them.

'My arm hurts, I think I had a Stroke'

-Some girl in my school

'At least my boy friend didnt finger my ass hole with strawberry shampoo'

- Words siad durring a Bitch fight

'Bagger my ass, its probley just Mill House'

- Homer Simpson
 
some guy once asked 'why would you wanna ski backwards?'

'...all fled before his face. All save one. There waiting, silent

and still in the space before the gate, sat Gandalf upon Shadowfax.'

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10, 1 to do it, and 9 to say 'I can do that.'

'Dude, we're sick. He's pretty sick, but his muscles aren't as big as mine, so you know.'-CR Johnson

 
'So did u take the front of an old pair of skis and glue them on the back of your skis?'

jigga say wha??

 
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