Best Rap Punchlines

Jacob.

Jacob.

Member
Just post the funniest rap punchlines you know
"y'all niggas like 14 days, too weak for me" -.40 Cal"For celebration's sake, I'm poppin this clown's neck, like college, niggas fail cuz they droppin from CAL-Tech" -.40 cal"I tattooed F-U-N on my dick, for Fuck U Niggas while I poke fun at your bitch" -Valkil
 
"What did Fifty Cent say to his Grandmother when she made him a sweater?"

"GEE, YOU KNIT!?!?" (G-UNIT) - Sage Francis

and

"Fuck, I know your in the building, Rapper. Studios aren't out side." - i forget
 
"I'd love to give my chest hairs a perm"- Method Man

"Real rappers is hard to find, like a remote"- Common

"Girls pee pee when they see me" -B.I.G.

 
Big L raps are pretty much all punch lines. And they're great!

From Da Graveyard, this is probably one of my favorite ones:

A tech nine is my utensil

Fillin niggas with so much lead they can use they dick for a pencil
 
"C4 to your door, no beef no more nigga" BIG

"im shooting babys no if and or maybes" BIG
 
"Let me hit it from the back, girl I wont catch a hernia

Bust off on your couch, now you got semens furniture" Tribe

Get's me every time.
 
Now I have to play the part of the advisor/ Because the bud is just a tasty tantalizer/ The bud, not the beer, cause the bud makes me wiser-- The Pharcyde ( not sure but I think its fatlip)
 
Big L's 98 freestyle is classic too...
"fuckin punk you aint a leader, nobody ever followed you, you was never shit, your mother should've sallowed you"
and
"before i buck lead, and make a lot of blood shed, and turn your tux red, your all broke i got enough bread, and mad hoes ask Beavis i get nothing BUTT HEAD
 
i'll make you famous, turn around and make you nameless cause you never understood how vital to me this rap game is. gang starr.
 
slap my cock between your eyes now you're cockeyed, cocksucker you can't fuck with the nuts, ask you girl cause she's sucking the nuts - Beatnuts
 
haha he dishes it out and in a hilarious way. i ranted about fergie for a whole song at his concert in minneapolis two years ago.
 
"Oh my God, I'm droppin shit like a pigeon
I hope you're listenin, smackin babies at they christening"

 
my metaphors are dirty like herpes but harder to catch

i'll bust off on her face and right after this segment, she'll probly rub it in her pussy tryin to get herself pregnant

both are immortal technique
 
"Fuck off kid let me tell you what happened, you should be dead sperm wrapped in a napkin" -All Star (the dude from the Salomon Freeski TV episode!)
 
"I sell ice in the winter, I sell fire in hell, I am a hustla, baby, I'll sell wata to a well" - Jayz
 
its the beat, he hears it in his sleep some times, then he blares it in his jeep so the people can stare at the rhymes. -MF doom
ill shoot ya mom in the back and fuck the bullethole till she dies. - Immortal Technique
 
"And from the sound of it, you on a stage

Is like a square in a triangle hole: it don't fit

I mean, the whole way you tryin to hold the mic

I ain't tryin to be a smart aleck, but you sound like a dick"

J Live
 
With skills unused like fallopian tubes on a dyke-immortal technique

'Cause AIDS infested child molesters aren't sicker than me-immortal technique

this guy has soooooo many punchline its crazy
 
Have you ever went over a friends house to eat

And the food just ain't no good?

The macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed,

And the chicken tastes like wood

So you try to play it off like you think you can

By saying that you're full

And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite

He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!"

So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie

And you say that you already ate

And your friend says "Man, there's plenty of food"

So you pile some more on your plate

While the stinky food's steamin', your mind starts to dreamin'

Of the moment that it's time to leave

And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin'

Into something that looks like cheese

Oh so you say "That's it, I gotta leave this place

I don't care what these people think,

I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous

With this ugly food that stinks"

So you bust out the door while it's still closed

Still sick from the food you ate

And then you run to the store for quick relief

From a bottle of Kaopectate

 


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New Page..

There yar ma friends
 
From Sounds of Science by Beastie Boys:

Time and money for girls covered with honey

You lie and aspire to be as cunning

Reeling and rockin' and rollin' B size D cup

Order the quarter deluxe why don't you wake up

My mind is kinda flowin like an oil projector

Had to get up to get the Jimmy protector

Went berserk and worked and exploded

She woke up in the morning and her face was coated
 
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