Best one line insults

[tuna.]

i find that a short and simple response to idiocracy does the trick.

during school last year the girl sitting next to me obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

coincidentally, i said, what did you have for breakfast, carnation instant bitch?

it worked, she shut up.

what are your best insults

 

[iluvBread]

fuck off...idk i usually just ignore ppl. if they're being annoying or talkin shit....just fuckin wakl away

 

[tuna.]

i.dont.love.bread.

you hurt my feelings

 

[reverendwrong]

i use my knowledge of ppl (small ass school) to attack them on a subject most dear to them...for example....

this one kid who is a total douche is a patriots fan.....well more than fan he would suck tom brady's dick if he got the chance. So whenever hes being a tool i just attack him on that. heres a few instances...his name is nick by the way...

nick: hell yeah 93%

me: hey Mr.D go check nicks paper i think he cheated

Mr.D: ok ryan whats your basis for that calim

me: hes a patriots fan, nuff said

Mr.D: laughs, walks over and takes and grabs nicks paper.

nick: hey whoa i didnt cheat i studied for this test

Mr.D: like how the patriots "studied" the other teams defense?

whole class dies laughing

i also just respond 17-1 everytime he gets annoying, that usually shuts him up

 

[heFF]

just gotta be sarcastic

 

[SteevJee]

Ill just mumble something unintelligible so it leaves them wondering what i said.

 

[Malcolm]

yea me too. but its just because i suck at comebacks

 

[iluvBread]

how the fuck did i hurt your feelings? i didn't even say ne thing to ya

 

[KellyK]

ya, you completely stole the "carnation instant bitch" line from "That 70's Show". Do not claim credit for that. I'm sorry, but ur not that clever.

 

[KellyK]

and idiocracy doesn't mean what you think it does

you mean idiocy

i bet i sound like a complete asshole, but i'm in a bad mood

 

[MatRich]

you cock wrangling ass monger!

 

[comeatmebro]

i just go for the personal attacks that leave them devastated. like this girl who was anorexic for a summer, started talking shit on me. just a short but sweet, so do you enjoy sticking your arm down your throat? that shit works wonders.

 

[Gnarshred]

^I dont get it... why would she do that if she was aneorexic?

 

[Mike34113]

your mom

 

[hart62]

my two favorites are shit-faced cock master and donkey raping shit eater.

 

[artfullydodged]

looks like you just got back from a cock rodeo

 

[VT_FLO]

i usually just beat kids up that are smaller then me.

IS he kidding? he must be! or is he?

the world may never know.

just like the location of Carmen Sandiego

 

[NaturalRotater]

"i'm rubber your glue what you say bounces off me and sticks to you"
"Your a Phone Jack"

 

[Lemuel]

jogg on

from hot fuzz

 

[DangerToes]

i hate... I HATE CHRISTMAS

theres really no rebuttal for it

 

[bradcoffey]

eat my shit -usually works

 

[Shpadoinkle]

Oh my God! That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard! Can I hear it again? Do you have time?

 

[Celone]

i tell them i peed in their butts

 

[ECGove]

it was 18-1, get your facts straight you jive turkey

 

[MatRich]

oh did you realy call him a jive turkey!!

no he called you a cock sucker

yah a cock sucker

thats right you cock sucker!

 

[fourhundred]

haha nice

 

[Sufferboy]

i use that one on this kid richtard that no one likes

and because of me a NS he is also known as hansel

 

[KarmaSkiier]

i know you are but what am i? ohhhh shit!

 

[Campeador]

stolen from immortal technique but it works beatifully

I was at this party and I was talking to my friend, this girl dana is drunk as fuck

me: yea dude, dana is a fucking slut, you should get some (didn't realize she heard me)

dana: what the fuck did you say!!! i'll break this bottle on your head!

me: calm down bitch, if you can take a dick you can take a fucking joke

a bunch of people burst out laughing and she just said "fuck you!" and walked off.

 

[Ahmets_Brother]

usually if people are insecure or about that ripe age of 15, adding faggot to the end after about 2-3 seconds after saying something sarcastic can work wonders...

 

[KarmaSkiier]

epic.

 

[g.muelheims]

hah thats so freaking good

 

[Alex_G]

Just call somebody a child molester. (Driveby insults)

 

[oiECSoi]

usualy just think of something off the top of my head. "Nice jacket ya ball tickling dundee" or something so stupid or imature they just dont know how to respond

 

[comeatmebro]

well idk bulimic it might be? the one where they make themselves puke. whichever that is.

 

[shrEddie]

haha i have a friend who says that alot. he gets me with it usually

 

[Malcolm]

you my friend, are not my friend

 

[charmander]

cross country coach: your not running fast enough
me: your old and confused.

it was sweet haha hes just like patcheso hulahan from dodgeball, but with only one arm and likes to wear short shorts.

 

[goonsquad]

she can read minds?

 

[oiECSoi]

cool story hansel

 

[smuggsVT]

your mom should have swallowed you

 

[AntifreezeSteeze]

suck on my dick...sometimes they completely change their attitudes and are like OMG really?!?! ahaha