Best nut-shots you have done to yourself

DIPED_IN_SAUCE

DIPED_IN_SAUCE

Member
NSG: what's the best/ funniest/ most embarrassing ways you have nutshotted yourself?

For me I nutted myself climbing today. I was in this position:
rock-climbing.jpg


when my right leg and arms went out and my nuts landed directly between my ass and my left foot.

I also had an exercise ball pop while I was sitting on it and that one left serious bruising.

what's the reason you aren't having kids?
 
I was working out and the belt i use for weighted dips has a chain, long story short, one ball was caught between two chain links with 25 pounds pulling down
 
I don't at all understand the scenario you are describing. Your nuts were in between your ass and your foot?

Anyway, doing tricep extensions I accidentally clapped my dick one time.

triceps-extensions-with-cable.jpg
 
Poor content, poor execution. I'm not saying my insult was worthy of a prize but this is just sloppy. Next time man.
 
I was biking around my nearby forest and I noticed a stellar rock drop. So after looking around it seemed safe enough to hit. I proceed to gather speed for the drop and go off it, I landed perfectly fine. Then just after the drop were a set of trees the width of my handlebars. I smack right the fuck into the trees causing my cock to violently launch at my headset and my handlebars. A lot of pain was to be had so naturally I took a peak and I could see my dick cut up and bruised. I had to wear bandages on my dick for a month.

tl;dr went off a drop on my bike, handlebars hit tree, cock was bleeding, no jacking for a month.
 
Friend had my poles, decided it was a good idea to throw them back at me while we were skiing. I was uphill and he was skiing switch and threw them up, I leaned forward to catch them and they pole planted just right and nailed me in ways I don't like to be nailed.
 
Mountain biking at whistler this passed summer, cased a table, dropped off the landing because too much speed, tried to bail but ended up landing with my ass on my back wheel, and my nuts got ram jammed into to seat post clamp....Wouldn't have been embarrassing if Brandon Semenuk wasnt watching me do the whole thing...
 
Back in my much younger days when I was misguided and thought unicycling was cool, I had finally become proficient at riding. I saw someone else with one doing 1-2 ft drops, jumping. Like any little wanker with a collection of pokemon cards flocking to another little wanker with a charizard, I was drawn to this kid with the unicycle. Not wanting to be outdone, I hopped on his unicycle for a try (unicyclists will always let someone try their cycle as it is usually hilarious to watch people fall instantly). I started riding and went for the drop, still sitting on the seat. My nuts impacted HARD on that hard seat. That is the day I learned that it is absolutely crucial to both hop a unicycle and jump a unicycle with straight legs, not sitting.

I really do think that unicycling is the least-manly thing one can do. Just think about the shape of the seat. They were made for clowns for a reason. No one with any kind of package down there should ever ride one. I wince thinking back on that memory, as well as that whole weird phase.
 
DIY rollercoaster(basically just a ramp down a long hill with tracks), wasn't built too smartly, was told to jump off at the end. When it came to jumping off I half pussied out as you had to jump around a wall, half pussying out resulted in my having one leg on either side of the wall, needless to say not my best experience, rather excessive amount of blood too...
 
probably the time my pole somehow got caught inbetween my legs whilst in mid-air off a cliff. the landing snaped it.

I now know the definition of pain
 
While fucking OPs mom, my balls clapped against her leg a little too hard. But in actuality I nutted myself jumping over my trampoline net, not good.
 
So here I was in a super important high school soccer game, my coach told me to guard the best player on their team (/claim). Anyway, I was running just behind him, when a pass came across the field, and he started to sprint. His foot came up inbetween my legs and striked me square in the balls. I dropped to my knees in pain. I began to convulse and passed out at the sight of all the blood. I was brought to the ER in critical condition, after being resesitated, twice. 15 reconstructive surgeries later I am back to normal.
 
Yo, I'm real happy for you, and Imma let you finish, but... Children of Poseidon had one of the best nutshots of all time. OF ALL TIME"

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one time i was in the shower and i dropped my washcloth and immediately tried to catch it as it fell but i ended up punching myself in the balls
 
Was skiing on ice started to butter and then fell and caught myself, and I accidentally did a split with skis, I heard a rip noise and took off everything to find blood all over my taint and a ball had popped out lol, I put it in my mouth for safe keeping and tried to get up but my rectum/large intestine came out and landed on the snow lol, at this point I was like "well fuck", gathered all my organs and skied down dropping them left and right. I hit a bump, and, whoopseeeez I swallowed my ball haha.
 
At the last rail jam we hosted at my local hill one kid hit our Y-rail and his legs split right before where the rail splits into 2 elbows, nutted himself then tomahawked over the Y part. We got a video
 
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