Best/Funniest/Most uncommon ways to avoid a confrontation

Velocirooster

Velocirooster

Member
What are some things you've done/said to avoid a pointless confrontation with someone. Ill start with my most recent that worked. If anyone knows about Bloomsburg's block party you know its just a day where everyone gets hammered and walks from place to place. So it was like 1:30 AM and these kids were walking by me and my friends and we were all fucked up and sayin some shit and it came to the point where the other group of kids were just like come at me and go fuck yourself and what not and we were yelling stuff back and i thought that a fight was going to break out and i yelled, "My dick is made of gravy and my mother is a waffle". There was no response and the crisis was averted.

IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THE WHOLE BULLSHIT STORY

To avoid a drunk scuffle i yelled my dick is made of gravy and my mother is a waffle. The enemy fled
 
Who are your parents? Honestly, I want to meet the people who thought it was a good idea to conceive you.
 
Then I say he looks like Randy from Trailer Park Boys and walk away laughing

Randy.jpg
 
Everyone knows you shoot for the center of mass.

This is why everyone always try to shoot me in the dick.
 
This. Even when I'm hammered walking around downtown, I've never started a real confrontation with anybody
 
The problem is that when other people are drunk they try and start confrontations with me because they can't hold their own alcohol.
 
Then they're douchebags, and by extension my rule still works: don't hang out with douchebags. Turn around and walk away. Its better than getting in a fight.
 
When a bunch of kids say shit while walking by i wouldnt consider that hanging out with them. And furthermore my friends and I are not douchebags were very friendly in fact, we are just quite stupid.
 
Why would a random kid try to start shit with you unless you provoked him in some way? Not saying you necessarily did anything wrong, but I can't see a guy just singling you out in the middle of a block party for no reason.
 
Its not a block party its just called block party haha, and i see where your coming from but block party is literally just a day where everyone gets hammered and walks around from place to place. The mayor last year made it a law that you need a permit specifically for block party to have more than 150 people on your property. And if you think it sounds weird that a group of drunk people would try to start something with another group of people for no reason than you havent been to college or havent been drunk. They started talking shit because my friend was wearing a red wings snap back and they were flyers fans lol. Not something im willing to fight over.
 
I finished college two years ago, kiddo. I've been to plenty of block parties, and had plenty of people try to start shit with me. I'm just saying there's usually a reason. Unless you're a huge d-bag, people don't usually go out of their way to get drunk and fight people. Fucking freshman.
 
My parents are pretty normal people, so are my brother and sister, something must have just gone wrong somewhere along the way because i am not normal. And my mom has told me numerous times that i should not have a child because it would be bad for the human race and irresponsible of me. Dont think my mom hates me or anything though shes just honest and i agree lol i suck and will probably die from eating too much spaghetti on june 24th 2015
 
Theres certain things about people that unintentionally provoke fights, and certain people who go around trying to fight anybody they think they could beat for no reason. I know people that fall into both these categories, some people are just jonesin for the adrenaline rush and a little alcohol is all they need.

OP may not have been doing anything it could have just been those kids lookin for a fight walking by trying to get a reason to fight
 
No offense to any of you, cause all of these are pretty funny. But if I was in a confrontation and yelling/whatever and someone yelled "my dick is made of gravy.." or "take off your pants" id think you were either a fag or a pussy.

So I'm gonna stick to dont be a douchebag and dont get into confrontations to begin with.
 
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