Best family guy line

hurrisun

hurrisun

Active member
heres my fav peter is on dating game show and the girl asks f i wre an icecream how would eat me contestant 1: i would cover u in choco sauce and lick it off

contestant2:i would invite my friend ovr and we would give u a double dip

peter: i would eat you really fast before i become flacid
 
Chris: I'm so hungry I could ride a horse. I don't get it. Well, I could ride it

to the store, I guess.

thats it
 
oh god. or

(Asian reporter) I'm here to see what type of person would have sex with a total stranger.

(Quagmire) I've never had a Spanish Chick before! All Right!
 
vacuum cleaner repair man- Your hose was clogged with a giant block of melted cheese.

Peter- did you keep it?

repair man- um... no

Peter- you bastard
 
thay do u women have boobs

so u got soemthign to look at when u talk to thehehehehhahahehehhahihihhihi

so u got soemthign to look at when u talk to thehehehehhahahehehhahihihhihi

so u got soemthign to look at when u talk to thehehehehhahahehehhahihihhihi
 
(priest) please spek now if there is any reason for this couple not to mary

-silence-

(peter)oh ok, your all gonna make me say it, GENITLE HERPES
 
Sir you cant park your van on the diving board, oh wait it is just a fat guy

Chris: Dad you cant run away from your problems at home by coming to south america, Peter: What are you talking about Meg's right here

Stewie: That girl needs to get laid, big time

there are so many more i cant name
 
teacher:in french, when u want to say yes, u say oi oi

peter:u gotta be kiddin me!!oh my god, that is hysterical..hahaha..oh man, and what do u say for no?doo doo?haha.. hay ill be right back i gotta go take a wicked yes
 
hey you! american! you like movies? i have "dude i seem to have misplaced my car and do not know where to find it but praise allah we are safe"
 
>peter hits his shin, falls to the ground holing it<

"oooow, ahhh, -inhale through teeth-, owwww, -inhale thru teeth-" ahhh repeat 8 times.
 
for some reason, when the bear and chris's teacher are in the hotel and the bear was like "loooovvvee youuuuu" that always cracks me right up.
 
Brian...

"ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLLY TIMMMME!" etc...etc....etc....etc.....etc.....etc....

epic.
 
(peter talking to meg)

HEY! WASSAT? WASSAT HUH? WAS THAT A BALL? HUH? GO FETCH! GO FETCH

IM NOT A DOG YOU DUMB BASTARD

and the infamous

hey can i interest you in a martini and rooficolata?
 
Stewie to Quagmire w/ a hooker: i think i'll go pump the chemical toilet, apperantly your about to do the same

(Family Guy movie)
 
also that time when the new hotel opened and mel gibson got the top floor and the asian reported wasnt allowed inside because shes asian
 
Brian: Isn't there an O in Country

Quagmire: Nope

The can't touch me song

So um listen, I just found out im retarded and um i am just calling to let you know you might want to get yourselve test
 
peter-NO, dont tell me you my rainbow socks with the individual toes!!!

lois- i forget her line...buts its along the lines of "youve lost something more important...my trust"

peter- oh.....cuz i need those socks...
 
stewy-"some people say life is like a box of chocolates...but yours is more like a box of...LIVE HAND GRENADES!"
 
I think this is it. No question.

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The black news reported has the best lines
 
Peter comes in drunk...

Lois: aww Peter your drunk again

Peter: No im just exhausted because ive been up drinking all night
 
o yea and

Peter: This is more awkward than having sex with a rhinoceraus that doesnt love you anymore...(flashback)

Peter:Drury why wont you look at me? followed by peter crying
 
lois: fine peter you win!

Peter pulls rope and banner "Peter Wins" and confetti comes down

Peter: finally after 5 years(or somethinglike that)..Wheres the clown?

dead clown falls to the ground
 
blak weather man: IT'S GONNA RAIN!

and the part when meg is with the nudist boy at the mall and the old dude is like "it must be my birthday!" any part with the old guy is funny
 
Quagmire at the prison: 'you know thursday is congical visit night, and i sure love doing a lady in the can'
 
opie: BLOAAUHH BLUUH BLEEH BLUUAAAH BLUAAHHH

it makes me laugh everytime, and it reminds me of all the times i get high and my friend says "im gonna make lasanga" and starts going "BLUAAAHH BLUUHHA BLUHH BLA BLAAHHH"
 
Tom: Is she chinese or Japanese

Diane: I believe she is japanese

Tom: Wow i know a japanese woman

Tom: Thank you Trisha for setting your people back a thousand years

Tom: Griffin

Peter: Diane

(while at the gilded truffle)
 
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