Best and hilarious claims

[Beaansss]

Post your or your friends claims that are hilarious.

 

[*TURBONERD*]

I'm the best skier on the mountain.

 

[zzzzzzzzzzzz]

I posted in this thread

 

[987321654hgfd]

I fucked your mom and sister at the same time.

 

[coolflash8]

I have poison ivy on my penis. 100% serious

 

[SSteezle]

anal with a pinkname and asked her if I could pee in her butt

 

[ignantchief]

Im too drunk to chew!....last night

 

[Beaansss]

I butt chugged a 26 and got super drunk

 

[*ninja*]

Danm got it b4 me

 

[90053]

i'm gonna be pro one day - steve stepp

 

[De-Clan]

I have large feet.

 

[Shredsterr]

I made a NS account.

 

[cbj]

I killed a bear by cockslapping his anus

 

[SFB]

me and my friend once kidnapped 14 kids from a park in 20 minutes. /claim.

 

[Beaansss]

Lol

 

[Horsefacekillah]

sw nined chads gap. didn't break ankles /claim

 

[DrewPeacock]

I did the anal.... with myself

 

[JeremyClarkson]

Bill Cosby used to live in my house before he got famous. /claim

 

[Relish_man]

I bashed on a shitty skier snaking the park face-to-face at my local hill only to discover later on in the day that he was the bass player for Simple Plan. /claim

 

[Beaansss]

Have sex with a girl doggystyle, pull her arms back and push her around the floor.

 

[introvert]

i like turtles

 

[Rafiki]

"i'll expose the boston bombings" - glenn beck

 

[JahFeels]

I shared a chair with Eric Pollard

...Ok it was just an EP fanboy with all the Eric Pollard swag (skis, poles, backpack, goggles)

 

[bnewbs6]

Does posting in this thread count?

 

[JzD.]

How do you itch it? Or do you just beat off and get a two for one deal

 

[c_roll]

"I'm going to NYC to record in Defjams studio so I can't chill Friday"

 

[SPUTnik.]

i am guitar hero

 

[deepfriedtwinkie]

I did a switch 7 - ChabsMross

 

[Beaansss]

I don't have a sister

 

[*TURBONERD*]

He clearly fucked her out of existence and is the only one to remember she ever existed because of it.

/conspiracy

 

[Beaansss]

So he fucked my sister in my previous life, that I just dont remember

 

[gotti]

I am the guy in the high meme /calim

 

[Granby_killdozer]

you use cortizone as lube