I was super drunk a few months ago and fucking a girl I had met in a bar earlier that night. I was watching myself screw her doggy style in the strategically positioned mirror on the wall adjacent to my bed when I noticed something hanging down between her legs, coming in and out of view as her breasts moved.
It was a super long dangly belly button piercing.
But I didn't recognize it as that and after a few minutes of intense contemplation in the mirror, my drunken brain falsely identified it as a vestigial penis. When this realization hit me, I screamed and jumped backwards. In doing so, I accidentally fell of the bed and slammed my head on my cabinet. I hit my head so hard that all the nights alcohol came rushing to the front and I puked all over the floor. Of course, with me spewing puke everywhere, the girl started to scream too, asking me what the fuck was wrong with me. Not having realized my mistake I screamed back, "WTF YOU HAVE A PENIS". And well, I never saw her again. She did not give me her number.
So yes, I HATE belly button piercings.