Bad timing (poop talk)

[JWeinstock]

i always have to take shits at the worst times. ill be in the car in the middle of no where and have to take a shit. ill be watching the nba finals and have to take a shit. i missed henriks nose butter dub 10 because i had to take a shit. i always have to shit at the worst times. why cant i just shit when im already in the bathroom. fuck pooping

 

[Spinoza]

Can you not control it??

 

[Squeenerd]

 

[Glone]

To become a poop master, you must learn to control you crap-urges

 

[Anathema]

i never have that problem. my body is pretty smart. it knows if im going to be stuck in an airplane or in a car for an extended period of time and i wont have to piss, shit, eat, drink, anything. it's kind of like a mini hibernation mode, but i dont even control it. my body just knows..

 

[edai]

This.

My body only has to fart or shit when I'm alone. Pissing is different, I can't control is as well, but can hold it for at least an hour or so. A solid shit I can hold for around 4-5 days though.

 

[DERS.]

not normal or healthy at all

 

[E__]

I have diarrhoea right now, I can feel it. Gotta drop one soon.

 

[Flying~Squirrel]

i dont give a fuck if im driving and i need to shit i just drop it in my hand and throw it out the window

 

[Spinoza]

this. optimal is 1 movement per meal

 

[Backyard.Skier]

yeah!

 

[Spaceberg]

This, just learn to hold that shit in (pun intended)

 

[POW-WOW]

It could be worse, Bad Luck Brian always seems to shit at terrible times.

 

[jorb.co]

this thread reminded me that i have to poop

 

[edai]

Right? I know it's not healthy, but if the need be, just cut down on the food a little, clench up and get with it. You might put on a few pounds and be a little uncomfortable, but if you're at somebody else's house, you do what you gotta' do.

 

[samwise]

This gets me in way too much trouble.

 

[Spinoza]

Use "do what you gotta do" backwards here. You gotta go so go quit being a poooooos

 

[whoa-dere]

i just let out a poop that's been in the cellar for 4 days. it was about 4 chunks all almost the exact same shape, i laughed when i saw them

 

[Flying~Squirrel]

definitely not.

 

[TechnoPotamus]

it's true, he does

 

[Spinoza]

Optimal but not practical

 

[Squeenerd]

same. When backpacking i only feel the urge to poop every 2-3 days or so.

 

[Heart]

I poop once a day. any more usually means I've been drinking or eating Mexican food

 

[E__]

This. Drinking gives me the shits. That's what I just took.

 

[little1337]

I poop at about 6:30 to 7:00 in the morning and again at 8:30 to 9:00 at night.

 

[JWeinstock]

or beans

 

[JWeinstock]

or beans

 

[Amadeus.]

During school days i normally take a shit when i get home and then one before i go to bed, and then on weekends/ summer i always take a mid day or afternoon shit plus a shit before i go out. I got it on lock.

 

[CheddarJack]

I envy you for you being able to drop one diarrhea

 

[iSmokeweed]

i just got over pooping right after showering. that was a bad three month period.

 

[elemeno89]

well actually you probably saved yourself the turmoil of watching a brutal sport with that one.

 

[Sno.]

ahaha. plus I think DVR and TIVO were specifically designed with bowel movements in mind.

I wouldn't know, though. I'm a girl and do not take shits.

 

[Casey]

I work construction, so any shit I have to take at work is bad timing because I have to shit in a nasty ass honey bucket. But one time I was trying to fart like 15 minutes into my shift, and just blasted a bunch of watery shit mixture by accident instead. I went into the honey bucket for like a half hour trying to clean it up and assess whether or not I should just go home. Long story short I ditched my shit stained underwear, wiped down my legs and ass as best I could and toughed it out for the next 7 hours, but the chaffe was unbearable.

 

[Sno.]

 

[iSmokeweed]

HA!

 

[Ryan_w._Campbell]

ROTF LMFAO

 

[Will.T]

hahahahahaha

 

[skipaparazzi]

Some people talk shit, some people can't shit

 

[K-Dot.]

really? i poop in the while im in the shower/tub

 

[LDV]

First thing I do when I get home from a road trip or a night I don't sleep at home is take a shit. Reclaiming my throne.

 

[sir_drums_a_lot]

There was only one fight in middle school as far as I knew, but I was in the shitter when it went down at lunch and would have had a front row seat had I not been in the can.

 

[I_Am_Mod]

wasn't this condition called 'defecatio intempestivus' or something ?

 

[cornholio]

no thats the spell from harry potter

 

[Casper.]

Nice touch

 

[I_Am_Mod]

i think it's photoshopped, i can tell it by the pixels ...

 

[maximiliaan]

i just had the funniest thing, came home from work, had to poo, got to the toilet, sat down, started pressing, then thought fuck! i forgot to takr my pants off! was just in time for the atomic bomb

 

[JWeinstock]

that could have been bad...