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Meh42

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All from http://http://objectiveministries.org/creation/

Well.

Apparantly the moon is a giant reverberating piece of iron that still echoes with God's words from when he creating the universe.

And

Apple is a bunch of dirty satanic hippies who actively plot the downfall of modern Christianity.

 
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Oh ye of little faith. Wait until you witness the writings of this fine fellow in all of their glory.
 
Oh shit sorry, I screwed up the link.

http.com//objectiveministries.org/creation/

Just copy and paste that. It's somewhere on that page
 
Why malls are instruments of the devil, broken down by stores.

  • J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus

    Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the

    penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!).
  • Sears - What the flesh of the damned does in Hell. It also sounds like "seers", Pagan mystics who engaged in occult premonitions.
  • Cinnabon - Sounds like "Sin Upon".
  • Orange Julius - Named for the Pagan Emperor of

    Rome. This company's mascot was once a devil, until they changed it to

    hide their true intentions.
  • Hot Topic - A recent store aimed at children that openly sells devil paraphernalia. Any guess as to why "hot" is in their name?

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"Darth Maul": Commercialized symbol of evil whose name sounds like "mall". Coincidence?

Aaahahahahaha. I'm sorry, I just never knew how evil the Cinnabon corporation was.

 
"Furthermore, the Darwin OS is released under an "Open Source" license, which is just another name for Communism."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously. this site is ridiculous
 
Hahahahah, it's fucking amazing. Just keep poking around, it keeps getting better. Check out the "Projects" tab on the left.

Advice on how to convert mall rats as a "Mall Missionary:"

Secularized teens usually can't read too well, so hand out colorful stickers instead of pamphlets.
 
I am christian, but some churches are just redic. I'm not sure about evolution but I really think that if evolution did happen there had to be a higher power guiding it. To me alot of things humans are able to do really serve no evolutionary purpose. Dreams for example, I don't think they serve any evolutionary purpose unless some higher power made it so that we have them.
 
They could also be a random byproduct of things that serve an actual evolutionary purpose, i.e. the brain itself. I'm not arguing against your faith though, to each his own. I personally believe in God but find a lot of organized religions and especially the Catholic Church to be ridiculous and at times disgusting.
 
They have the shutdown of the Landover Baptist site listed as one of their objectives.

It could very well be though, some of this stuff is almost too ridiculous.
 
The catholic church has done alot of stupid bullshit and tryed to pretty much take over the world, but they have also provided the world with some good scientists, like gregor mendel who studied heredity. He was a monk, many other scientists were. The big bang theory came from a catholic dude(chaplin is the word I think).

nowadays the catholic church isn't that bad. They aren't going on crusades trying to take over the world anymore.

I'm not catholic, but I think that they aren't that bad as of right now. In the past they were truly disgusting.
 
So from what I learned from this nerdy looking giraffe is that:

Dinos still roam around and the earth is less then 10,000 years old

T-rex's were herbivorous (land before time lied to me........)

Fossils are buired remains of wicked men and woman that died in the flood

Bees can shoot boiling hot toxic chemicals out of his butt to defend himself against secular evils.

I think I need to punch whoever heads this thing
 
Well put and very true.

Hahahah, and please don't go punching the Objective Mission staff. If you hurt them too badly they won't be able to keep writing such quality material.
 
HAHAHA

if you dress up lambuel in one set of clothes he says stuff..

my personal favorite is the youth rock minister

"Lets rock out for the Lord!"
 
Okay, I'm calling bullshit on the site. I think it's just a brilliant satire. I mean they've even got whole other websites made by their "members" that link up and the ads go to legitimate Christian businesses, but still. I Ggogled some things from the founder's biographies and nothing comes up.
 
dude i dont care what anyone says when people explain our world and how and change in our atmosphere in the slightest bit would disable our existence it makes me think something out here hooked us up
 
oh my god at the top of the 4 kids thing, just scroll over the lambs head, it late at night at my house, and that just came on to my speakers, and I wasnt expecting it, it just scared the hell out of me
 
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