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General_Shredgnar

General_Shredgnar

Active member
I'm not sure about you, but in my local newspaper, I have a column near the cartoon where some older woman gets letters sent to her by sexually deprived middle aged women. She then answers questions and preceeds to solve everyones problems in the best way she can. You may have something simular on your newspaper, but I'm going to go ahead and start this on NS. Post a problem you may be having in this thread, and if you are super lucky, or If Im bored, I will answer your question and give you advice to servive in this vicious world of love. Enjoy!

'Its pretty sad when your penis is longer than the amount of air these little kids are bragging about.'
 
eastcoast, your wife is so loose because ive spent a few nights with her. sorry to ruin your marriage buddy

'dont jizzz in a hot tub youll have sperm the size of salmon in a week.'

-Astomp17

My time is winding down.............just wait for it
 
My girlfriend wants to experiment with 'doggy style' because regular stance is becoming boring. The only problem is that she's really small and I think I'm too big to really give it to her. I'm 25 and she's 11 years old. What should I do??

 
Citrus that was fucking grand...

-People say marijuana ruins your life, I just say I take the scenic route-
 
^^ i fell of my chair after reading that

_______________________

and saint paul did approch the rail and the lord did say "hit it you pussy". and saint paul did hit the rail and the lord was pleased
 
yeah this kid has posted a few funny things im startin to like him, a good newb unlike most of the others

_________________________________________

_________

-Ryan

breaking up with a boyfriend in your case due to his flacid penis and your shrivled up vag is like a old couple breaking up becuase the old woman doesnt want to go to bingo on saturday night and the old man does. its simply nonsense-EastCoastAR5

 
hahaha oh god,

x-ski-x: we kill it

Northeast Cult

Table 'newschoo_media.main' doesn't exist
 
Dear Citrus, I know where your coming from. There are several answers.

1. When experimented with your girlfriend, you may want to ease her other holes for sexual use. Friendly zomping works amazingly well. Eventually when she is comftorable to take on your golden cock, she will be able to have anal sex with you. With situations like this communication is key.

2. If your girlfriend just refuses to have anal sex with you, and it would be too much time and pain, you may want to experiment with different positions that may spice up your sex life but keep within the realms of vaginal sex.

Maybe when she graduates from elementary school she may want to be a bit more open with her body. Have fun sicko!

'Its pretty sad when your penis is longer than the amount of air these little kids are bragging about.'
 
hahahahahahahah

Jeremy

There's plenty of room for all of God's creatures. Right next to the mashed potatoes.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.
 
Hey reader, I suggest scrapping your skis and hiring a whore. Thanks for reading!

'Its pretty sad when your penis is longer than the amount of air these little kids are bragging about.'
 
11 years old, Id tap that. Doggy style would be perfect for 11 year olds the girl can play with her dolls while you do what needs to be done

coz it's easy once you know how it's done

you can't stop now

it's already begun

you feel it

running through your bones

and you jerk it out

jerk it out

 
I agree this is the funniest thread ive read in a long time on any forum. You gotta train the young ones while you can, especially the ones with potential. I call them Sluts in Training.

coz it's easy once you know how it's done

you can't stop now

it's already begun

you feel it

running through your bones

and you jerk it out

jerk it out

 
Yeah, so....... I don't tell anyone about this, but.........

This one time, at band camp.......................

Ehh..........

Well, some things are just better left for Lat to fantasize about.

______________________

- Ian

Phunkin Phatt Phreerider
 
ok so i think that i might be bi, but am afriad to try it b/c im afriad i will like it more than a girl and become completly gay. what should i do?

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
wow hucker that's fucked up

~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~~~~

If it aint Gorilla, it aint Steeze

i'm not even trying to be mean...but, you look borderline retarded -freerider_klo

its not like you're stuck inside a woodchipper listening to good charlotte, things could be alot worse. - Shaggy

 
this is simple, i recall an old chinese technique where you hang from your penis for 10 min a day and it will soo be longer than your arm... this takes time so dont get fet up when it doesnt work the fist week.

---------------------------------

----

-------------------------------- Some people talk it, some people live it, some people walk it-some people give it... deal with it.

D-Loc AKA Shaky Bones... Original, Unique, and One of a Kind.
 
Dear hucker,

Bisexual tendacies can be normal. In your case, you start out straight, and venture into the other side of gayness. Usually its the other way around. If I were you, I might want to stay on the straight side, because if you start getting it on with other guys the girls you dig might not like your penis being covered in shit and you will be stuck with slightly overweight gay people, and goths.

So overall I suggest keep going with girls and if the girls you like are comftorable with, or turned on by you being gay, ease yourself in the world of gay. To do that I suggest:

1.Gain 20 pounds.

2. Dye your hair some color.

3. Buy lots of black clothes so you can get it on with goths.

4. Buy some kind of cleaning agent to make sure your parters bungalo is squeeky clean!

Be safe! To be extra safe you can buy any one of my catalogs at 1800-ASK-CRAD

'Its pretty sad when your penis is longer than the amount of air these little kids are bragging about.'
 
where do babies come from

_______________________

and saint paul did approch the rail and the lord did say "hit it you pussy". and saint paul did hit the rail and the lord was pleased
 
This is somewhat of an emergency! Please write back soon!

My girlfriend was hunkering down on my man-rod this evening, and it was good. We were working it missionary style, and she wanted me to bust out the load into her oh-so-inviting vaginal oriface.

So I did. Her contractions were so good that I really came hard. It was such a massive payload that I blew her face off.

Now there's blood and jizz all over the floor in my room, and my parents get home soon.. What should I do?

________________

I wanna walk all over you.
 
Well, my parents came home. Surprisingly they weren't that angry, but I accedentally strangled my father before he could tell me that. I had to tie up my mom and cut her to make sure she wouldn't tell anyone. She's making me a sandwich now. My girlfrien's mom called, asking for her, so I drove to her house, duct taped her to her bedpost and lit the house on fire. I'm hoping they won't figure out who did it.

________________

My Lamentable plight... ...I am calamity.
 
Oh shit, my neighbour came over becuse he heard all this screaming and shit, and I had to capture him. He's locked in my bathroom right now, and I'm trying to decide whether I should let him starve to death, or do slice him into small pieces and feed them to homeless people.

Then my neighbour's wife got worried that he hadn't come back and came over to see how he was. I said "He never came here" and that fucker was screaming and shit in the bathroom. So I had to capture the woman too. She's locked in my sister's bedroom.

I'm going to feed her to my German Shepard.

Soon I think the government is going to come because my entire block is slowing being killed off. When that happens, I'll pos pics.

________________

My Lamentable plight... ...I am calamity.
 
I know what to do. Take the neighbor's wife and cut off her legs so she can't run away. Then lace her pockets with crack and set 5 police dogs on her.

See if that works.

 
i am you dumb fuck

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
then its your opinion, w/e ask your mom shes knows how staight i can be

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
never know i get around. oh by the way to anyone that cares sorry i didnt tell everyone im straight and like to have sex with girls on this thread and made you think i was gay. well im not, problem solved

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
sry to break all your hearts, and not your asses

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
hahahahahahaa

______________________________

" im popping the collar right now, you gotta wear at least 2 polos when you do it though, im rockin 3 burberrys at the moment" ATLSKI
 
seriously its word placement and how you read the sentence thats now what i said. try it again

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
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