Anyone know anything about cars?

DrStrangelove

DrStrangelove

Active member
I just got into my car to go take something to the post office, and the fucker won't start.

It's a 1998 Audi A4, so if any of you know anything about them, that'd be awesome. I looked all over the internet and the best I could find so far is a DIY maintenance manual for 100 bucks...fuck that, I figured NS might know something.

Anyway, it's not a power issue, there seems to be plenty of power because the radio turns on and the gauges all light up and kind've twitter around and make a loud flickering sound. So it's not like I should jump it I don't think.

You guys think it's a blown starter fuse or something? I mean, I'm pretty sure that's what's wrong, but I don't want to have to tow it into town if I can avoid it, the whole process will prob cost more than a hundred bucks.
 
ok, try this

it its automatic, put it in netural and flip the key to the max and hold it there, then hit the gas (it won't go if its in netural). if its manual push the clutch, keep it in netural flip the key and press the gas.

or, try push starting it (but i don't know if that works on automatics)
 
Try to jump because there might be enough power to run the radio but not the starter. Also check your connections on the battery because this green stuff can build up on them and cause you to have a bad connection
 
try jumping it, it cant hurt. the radio and lights and shit take up way less power than starting the engine so maybe u have enuff to power that shit but not start the car, it happened to me that way.
 
ahhhhh this is frustrating

it shouldnt be super expensive because at worst i feel like it's some line that's been broken somewhere...and fuses are universal...but fuck, this is annoying the shit out of me, ive got so much goddamn school stuff to do this week too.
 


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Ain't no tellin what the side effects could be

All these fine bitches equal sex to me

plus I got this bad bitch layin next to me

No doubt, sit back on the couch

Pants down, rubber on, set to turn that ass out

Laid the bitch out, then I put it in her mouth

Pulled out, nutted on a towel and passed out
 
Dude first of all check all fuses. Fuses in the car usually under dash on driver or passenger side. Next check engine fuses, usually in a plastic covered square box somewhere right on top of engine when you pop your hood.

When you turn the key to start it does ANYTHING happen??? like turns over but won't start or is there just no noise from the engine at all.

If its a bad starter sometimes with the car off and in nuetral roll the car a little and then put it in gear like a pop start but not as hard or if automatic put it in drive and get out and push on the back or front like your trying to roll the car, this should move your starter to a slightly different spot(possible bad spot if the starter is just starting to go bad) once you've rocked the car back and forth a little then try and start it.

Are your lights that come on at key on dim or do they look full strength??

Check all fuses first though.
 
the lights all look full strength, which is why i think it's a fundamental electrical/fuse/starter problem, and not the battery. ive had to jump cars before, i know what that's all about, if it was just a burned out battery it wouldnt be a problem.

to answer your question, the engine doesnt do shit. something behind the gauge panel just makes this flickering sound.

anyway, is there any way to check my fuses to see if one is blown? does a blown fuse even look any different from a functioning one?
 
what engine do you have? if you have a 1.8t it might be the coil packs because they often go bad on the 1.8t's

if you want some more possibly better help then NS, come over to Audiforums.com or Audizine.com or Audiworld.com and post your problem.

No offense to NS but I don't think there as large of a base of car guys who know Audi's here.
 
yah it was just a shot in the dark, that's actually the best advice so far, i havent had any luck finding an audi forum where i can get troubleshooting advice

it's a 2.8 btw
 
hahahaa yeah i remember that, and i remember the actual story it was based on when that one louisiana idiot got shot in the nut when his bootleg fuse/bullet went off as they were crossing a bridge
 
did you get a new key or something? on my audi i got a spare key made and the engine would start for like half a second then shut off.
 
nah it's not the key, ive been using the same one for like 2 years now

i think the lesson here is that i need to just buy a new fucking car as soon as i graduate...this used car shit is sooooooo last year

i mean, i know cars are always gonna have problems, but i wish this thing wasnt so old and foreign, my school is in the middle of NOWHERE and if this ends up being a more complicated problem im willing to bet there isnt an Audi mechanic within 2 hours of here
 
one guy said it before but look in the fuse box under the hood prolly to the top right... Look at all the fuses they are like red, yellow, or green chips... don't pull um all out to look at um if you don't have to but look at them from the top their should be a straight metal line across the top if one of them is blown it won't be connected metal it will be messed up or "blown".... check that first before you rush into fixing the starter or anything...
 
dont buy an A4. they have so many electrical problems. but it sounds like you need to jump it. my battery was dead this morning, but i could still listin to music and my panel lit up. when i turned the key it just started clicking. then i jumped it and boom! it runs
 
starter maybe, if its manual try pop starting it. Also possibly alternator your battery might be able to run your gauges and radio and what not but if the alternator is bad or w\e it will not charge the battery and it might not have enough juice to crank the motor
 
ive dealed with this prob, check both the in car fuses and the under hood fuses/relays. If all of those are good, then you either have a stater issuse, or most likley your battery cables are corroded, and need replaced.
 
No offense but you shouldn't be driving an audi if you can't check a fuse.

As said above there is a small piece of metal inside the plastic usually shaped like a U or S, it should be all one piece and shiny like new, if that shits split or corroded or burnt looking pull the fuse and replace. Most cars have spares already in the car. Look at the diagram on the lid to the fuse box for a space that says spare. Did you even find the fuses yet??

By any chance were you installing any new audio equipment lately??
 
the flicking sound might be your cellinoid not engaging the fly wheel. i would also jump your battery because the sound could be your stater not having enough power to get shit started in your engine.
 
ya I've had that happen too, when you first turn your key to key on and it makes those beeping sounds be real quiet(turn off radio) and listen near your back seat you should hear a soft like 4-5 second wirrr that is your fuel pump priming some fuel for the start. Dead givaway if you don't hear the pump make any noise it could be that too.

Oddly enough both starter and fuel pump can be jump started if they are just starting to go. I wouldn't advise thread creator to try this as he can't check a fuse, but if you know someone who can actually locate these parts hit them really hard with something.(not too hard) I have seen bad starters and bad fuel pumps both start working again just by giving them a generous tap with the butt of a hammer or baseball bat. I mean it is electronics, did ya ever bang on a t.v. or something to get it to work and it did? Same principle.
 
Audis are great cars. I wouldn't ditch one ina billion years. Some food for thought, all the accessories like radios and gages in your car probably draw 1-5 amps. The starter draws ~500, so it could still easily be the battery.

If not, my audi had problems with its clutch switch, if its a manual it could be that.
 
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