Anyone ever lost a relationship because your partner didn’t understand your lifestyle?

F

FATHERULLR

New member
This has been on my mind recently since I told my girlfriend that I plan on being out a lot during the season. My girlfriend skis and enjoys it but isn’t into it like I am.

What has everyone’s experience on this been like?

We’re you able to balance your relationship or was it too straining for the both of you?
 
topic:FATHERULLR said:
This has been on my mind recently since I told my girlfriend that I plan on being out a lot during the season. My girlfriend skis and enjoys it but isn’t into it like I am.

What has everyone’s experience on this been like?

We’re you able to balance your relationship or was it too straining for the both of you?
Click to expand...

my girlfriend gets it thankfully. but TBH unless you're unemployed and traveling for a whole season filming a video part or competing or something like that i dont see how skiing could come in between a solid relationship
 
No, but eventually you need make a compromise with both parties involved if you really value the relationship. And yeah that means skipping out on days you really want to ski and I'm sure that gets to become more apparent as you get older, start having a family, etc. Nothing wrong with it.
 
Working 40- 50 hours a week and living an hour away from each other we didn’t get to see each other a whole lot to begin with.

Ski season came and went every year, and every year I skied less and less. I went from averaging 50-60 days a year to maybe 20 if I was lucky.

Eventually I just started to dread winter because I knew it was just going to be another season of fighting every other weekend and being disappointed by how little I got to ski. This also permeated into other aspects of my life. I completely quit skateboarding after being obsessed with it more than skiing for 5 years.

I live the same week every week. I go to work. Spend the weekend with the girlfriend, and do it all over again the next week.

i am completely fucking miserable. Part of me wishes I never got into this relationship and im seriously considering ending it this winter.
 
I keep getting straight up rejected because of my lifestyle. Either they tell me they hate being outside or Im gone for too long to hold a relationship.

The ones that admire what I do are already happily married.

best to accept the situation and not having anyone hold you back
 
14471471:freestyler540 said:
I keep getting straight up rejected because of my lifestyle. Either they tell me they hate being outside or Im gone for too long to hold a relationship.

The ones that admire what I do are already happily married.

best to accept the situation and not having anyone hold you back
Click to expand...

Would you say that sacrificing having relationships to do what you want have been better in the long run for your happiness?
 
14471357:270on420out said:
Working 40- 50 hours a week and living an hour away from each other we didn’t get to see each other a whole lot to begin with.

Ski season came and went every year, and every year I skied less and less. I went from averaging 50-60 days a year to maybe 20 if I was lucky.

Eventually I just started to dread winter because I knew it was just going to be another season of fighting every other weekend and being disappointed by how little I got to ski. This also permeated into other aspects of my life. I completely quit skateboarding after being obsessed with it more than skiing for 5 years.

I live the same week every week. I go to work. Spend the weekend with the girlfriend, and do it all over again the next week.

i am completely fucking miserable. Part of me wishes I never got into this relationship and im seriously considering ending it this winter.
Click to expand...

Dump her ass you need skiing more then she needs you clearly, she would understand if she actually gave a fuck about how you felt and not just herself. Sounds like its her relationship not both of yours.
 
14471471:freestyler540 said:
I keep getting straight up rejected because of my lifestyle. Either they tell me they hate being outside or Im gone for too long to hold a relationship.

The ones that admire what I do are already happily married.

best to accept the situation and not having anyone hold you back
Click to expand...

Imagine not enjoying the outdoors. I know a girl that showers because she said she smells like outside, what a fuckin kook.
 
ok time for my serious reply

Nah, I think if you are both like... mature people you can work it out. IF somebody doesn't like when you make a certain lifestyle choice like lets say going skiing, they simply aren't worth being in a relationship with. lemme explain

I mean first of all if you are dipping out on your partner to ski that is a different story, that's just shitty ass behavior.... but like if your partner can't handle the fact that you enjoy doing a wholesome ass activity other than them, that relationship is toxic as hellll.

Like for example, my partner and I have pretty different interests besides our common stuff. She's an artist and finds her happiness in her work, where I get 100 days a year on my pass easy and find may happiness in skiing, she is not rly a skier, she wants to but because of some injuries/health stuff the past couple years she can't. but like. she likes that I do what I do and respects the drip cuz we have respect for eachother and communicate when we are and aren't available.

Also, your partner shouldn't be your only source of happiness cuz that aint healthy either. find what you love and do it but also create space in your life for others that you love

If you want a relationship where you can do what you love without judgement all you gotta do is communicate. like if you're out for long hours just do your best to check in when you can, its okay to sacrifice a little bit of your time for somebody you love cuz they are doing the same for you. If you got a "its skiing or me" partner trust me they aren't worth it, you deserve a relationship where you both can mutually be yourselves together
 
14471529:CrunnchyPissFart said:
ok time for my serious reply

Nah, I think if you are both like... mature people you can work it out. IF somebody doesn't like when you make a certain lifestyle choice like lets say going skiing, they simply aren't worth being in a relationship with. lemme explain

I mean first of all if you are dipping out on your partner to ski that is a different story, that's just shitty ass behavior.... but like if your partner can't handle the fact that you enjoy doing a wholesome ass activity other than them, that relationship is toxic as hellll.

Like for example, my partner and I have pretty different interests besides our common stuff. She's an artist and finds her happiness in her work, where I get 100 days a year on my pass easy and find may happiness in skiing, she is not rly a skier, she wants to but because of some injuries/health stuff the past couple years she can't. but like. she likes that I do what I do and respects the drip cuz we have respect for eachother and communicate when we are and aren't available.

Also, your partner shouldn't be your only source of happiness cuz that aint healthy either. find what you love and do it but also create space in your life for others that you love

If you want a relationship where you can do what you love without judgement all you gotta do is communicate. like if you're out for long hours just do your best to check in when you can, its okay to sacrifice a little bit of your time for somebody you love cuz they are doing the same for you. If you got a "its skiing or me" partner trust me they aren't worth it, you deserve a relationship where you both can mutually be yourselves together
Click to expand...

Maturity has a whole lot to do with it. I think some people though and I’m definitely one of them want to share in what I love to do with the person I’m interested in which goes both ways. It doesn’t have to be to the same degree but I find loads of value in it. I just find when I can’t share that I lack at building connection or become disinterested.
 
14471357:270on420out said:
Working 40- 50 hours a week and living an hour away from each other we didn’t get to see each other a whole lot to begin with.

Ski season came and went every year, and every year I skied less and less. I went from averaging 50-60 days a year to maybe 20 if I was lucky.

Eventually I just started to dread winter because I knew it was just going to be another season of fighting every other weekend and being disappointed by how little I got to ski. This also permeated into other aspects of my life. I completely quit skateboarding after being obsessed with it more than skiing for 5 years.

I live the same week every week. I go to work. Spend the weekend with the girlfriend, and do it all over again the next week.

i am completely fucking miserable. Part of me wishes I never got into this relationship and im seriously considering ending it this winter.
Click to expand...

End it.
 
idk about your situation, maybe smoke a spliff and play some video games, get your mind off of that stuff, just let everything go, be the best person you can be
 
14471357:270on420out said:
i am completely fucking miserable.
Click to expand...

life isn’t supposed to suck and relationships are supposed to feel nice at least most of the time so my advice is do what makes you happy. go skiing, you’ll find someone else.
 
Kind of yeah. Dated a girl in college for a bit who came from a very well to do family. Her family never said anything to me but appartley they were very concerned about my earning potential lol. We broke up pretty quickly. Best story there is getting my dusty Dodge Neon with no power steering valet parked the day I met her family.

Otherwise I find my lifestyle to be limiting my willingness to persue relationships or I find myself in situationship with someone who lives a long way away and I don't think I could do the distance game we'll.
 
I know it’s none of my business but man. From what you just said, you need to move on. Life is too short

14471357:270on420out said:
Working 40- 50 hours a week and living an hour away from each other we didn’t get to see each other a whole lot to begin with.

Ski season came and went every year, and every year I skied less and less. I went from averaging 50-60 days a year to maybe 20 if I was lucky.

Eventually I just started to dread winter because I knew it was just going to be another season of fighting every other weekend and being disappointed by how little I got to ski. This also permeated into other aspects of my life. I completely quit skateboarding after being obsessed with it more than skiing for 5 years.

I live the same week every week. I go to work. Spend the weekend with the girlfriend, and do it all over again the next week.

i am completely fucking miserable. Part of me wishes I never got into this relationship and im seriously considering ending it this winter.
Click to expand...
 
14471633:r00kie said:
Otherwise I find my lifestyle to be limiting my willingness to persue relationships
Click to expand...

Definitely in the same boat ^^

Skiing is like my one thing that I can have to myself and nobody can fuck with. Its also a way to relieve work stress. And after a long week working outside in the rain, I’m not gonna bail on skiing just to sit around on a couch, watch netflix,drink beer with some dude that’s too lazy to go skiing

It’s important to maintain separate lives and enjoy the things you love. Why would you want to see that person 24/7 when you’re together literally all the time anyways
 
14471977:Kushdrugsweed said:
My girl didn’t like that I enjoy sucking dick on the side…..some chicks just don’t understand
Click to expand...

Idk who disliked this. This is the funniest response on this thread
 
14471983:twinkle_toes said:
Definitely in the same boat ^^

Skiing is like my one thing that I can have to myself and nobody can fuck with. Its also a way to relieve work stress. And after a long week working outside in the rain, I’m not gonna bail on skiing just to sit around on a couch, watch netflix,drink beer with some dude that’s too lazy to go skiing

It’s important to maintain separate lives and enjoy the things you love. Why would you want to see that person 24/7 when you’re together literally all the time anyways
Click to expand...

My girl is super wonderful but she’s waaaaay too into just sitting on the couch to where if I’m not going skiing, the couch is all I really have waiting for me. I can only watch so many tv shows before I lose my mind.
 
You do you man. Compromises go both ways however don't change yourself if you don't want to. There's millions other people out there. Far too often it seems people stay in relationships longer because they're afraid they'll never find that special someone again. That's some bs destiny shit. Sit down and have a discussion about your wants, her wants/needs, and things that are deal breakers. You may be surprised at her response or you both may discover that it isn't going to work- and saved each other years of wasted time and misery. I was pretty close to this point and saying fuck it, I'm done. We sat down and figured out ways to make it work for both of us, and now there's no fighting or questioning about stupid shit like weekend plans, vacations, skiing, etc. Another big contention point is where to live; unlikely his and her dream spots will align, so this is another place to compromise on.

Skiing is something really stupid to fight about so if y'all can't compromise then might wanna reevaluate things. Consider all aspects and what's most important to you.
 
This is great advice. My wife actually wasn’t into skiing when I met her but I slowly got her back into it without forcing her (she had skied when she was younger). It was just a matter of exposure, seeing how much I love it, and my encouragement regarding her skills. Now she loves skiing and says we have to be in a city next to the mountains. People can surprise you.

14472013:Word_of_the_Lord said:
You do you man. Compromises go both ways however don't change yourself if you don't want to. There's millions other people out there. Far too often it seems people stay in relationships longer because they're afraid they'll never find that special someone again. That's some bs destiny shit. Sit down and have a discussion about your wants, her wants/needs, and things that are deal breakers. You may be surprised at her response or you both may discover that it isn't going to work- and saved each other years of wasted time and misery. I was pretty close to this point and saying fuck it, I'm done. We sat down and figured out ways to make it work for both of us, and now there's no fighting or questioning about stupid shit like weekend plans, vacations, skiing, etc. Another big contention point is where to live; unlikely his and her dream spots will align, so this is another place to compromise on.

Skiing is something really stupid to fight about so if y'all can't compromise then might wanna reevaluate things. Consider all aspects and what's most important to you.
Click to expand...
 
14471633:r00kie said:
Otherwise I find my lifestyle to be limiting my willingness to persue relationships
Click to expand...
14471983:twinkle_toes said:
Definitely in the same boat ^^

Skiing is like my one thing that I can have to myself and nobody can fuck with.

I’m not gonna bail on skiing just to sit around on a couch, watch netflix,drink beer with some dude that’s too lazy to go skiing
Click to expand...

Same here too. Its easier in general for me to just not have a relationship. Less stress.

I get looked at like I have two heads when I say I don't have any streaming accounts or cable/dish tv.
 
y’all need to find someone who is as hyped to ski as you are. Get a truck camper or van and send it. Ain’t gonna work living the compromise life- it will sour eventually
 
I can answer yes to this question but it was not due to my skiing, it was my motorcycle life. I dated a girl for a few years, she knew my lifestyle at the time and said she fell in love with it. I taught her how to ride, got married, bought her own motorcycle and I figured we were set. She ended up getting a higher up job and started to look down on the whole biker life we were living. She changed and I dont blame her, just bettering her life, I supported it but she kept looking down to mine. Needless to say, we didnt last much longer after this and we divorced. Motorcycles are still a huge part of my life and always will be and I have found the lady of my dreams now that supports me in every way. My skiing, my hot rods, my motorcycles, my love for travel, you name it she is supportive of it and it has truly changed my outlook towards relationships. Relationships can be tough but shouldnt require lots and lots of work, they should be pretty natural. Best of luck to all those out there, love is out there.
 
topic:FATHERULLR said:
This has been on my mind recently since I told my girlfriend that I plan on being out a lot during the season. My girlfriend skis and enjoys it but isn’t into it like I am.

What has everyone’s experience on this been like?

We’re you able to balance your relationship or was it too straining for the both of you?
Click to expand...

If she starts complaining that you are skiing too much just lie and say you are out with another girl instead.

All of a sudden skiing won’t seem so bad.
 
I straight up don't understand this. The first and MAJOR thing I look for in a girl is if they enjoy to ski. Advice from my parents that have been happily married for 31 years and have skied 3+ days a week that entire time. If they don't ski they aren't worth it.
 
14473789:Michigan_Sucks said:
I straight up don't understand this. The first and MAJOR thing I look for in a girl is if they enjoy to ski. Advice from my parents that have been happily married for 31 years and have skied 3+ days a week that entire time. If they don't ski they aren't worth it.
Click to expand...

i unadd girls on snap if they dont ski lmao
 
To put it simply, and as someone whose been in similar situations…

You genuinely need to assess what you need more.

Do you really need to ski everyday of the week? No. Is she a special person that might not come around again / makes skiing less actually worth it? Sweet, you can ski a few times a week and still live a happy life. Most happy people in the world haven’t even been skiing.

- The other end.

Are you an absolute ski fiend and get down in the dumps regardless of your situation if you can’t ski?

1. ski a bit less and pick up another fun hobby your girl likes (because you most likely need the exercise for your mental health)

or

2. Realize skiing is an essential part of your lifestyle that you need for your own personal happiness, express this to her and if she doesn’t understand then look for a ski babe
 
14472023:BradFiAusNzCoCa said:
This is great advice. My wife actually wasn’t into skiing when I met her but I slowly got her back into it without forcing her (she had skied when she was younger). It was just a matter of exposure, seeing how much I love it, and my encouragement regarding her skills. Now she loves skiing and says we have to be in a city next to the mountains. People can surprise you.
Click to expand...

This is very true. If you genuinely love skiing and you come back from the mountain a better person because of it, a good partner will see that and respect it. 7 years in to my current relationship and my partner went from being whatever about snowboarding to demanding mountain life ad infinitum. People can definitely surprise you, I'd say finding a person who is engaged with life is more important than someone who compulsively goes to the mountain every weekend but doesn't really enjoy it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top