Am I Being Selfish?

Lemuel

Lemuel

Active member
My roommate accuses me of being selfish for these reasons:

1) He wants me to leave my skis and boots in my dorm over spring break so his friend, who doesn't have his own shit, but has the same size foot as me, can use it. I am bringing my ski stuff home because I tore my ACL and can't ski anymore. I am bringing my shit home now so I don't have to in May.

2) He always wants to use my GoPro. I let him use it once. He takes it a second time without even asking me. I let him use it a third time. Everytime, he complains about it because he doesn't know how to use it.

3) We got a shitload of snow today. His gloves are wet from snowboarding today. He want to use a pair of mine. I give him an old pair of leather ones, but no, he insists that my newer, not worn ones are going to work better and takes them. The old pair are perfectly fine.

4) He uses my printer all the time. He uses almost all my ink, almost all my paper. Do I complain? No.

I never complain when he uses my stuff. I never ask to use any of his stuff, which is his argument why he is not selfish and I am. His argument is that he lets me watch his tv. I mean really? When I tell him that I don't want his friend using my skis and ski boots, he tells me I am being selfish.

So NS, am I not the most selfish person in the world?

 
i would say you are being selfish for not letting him use your nice gloves when you obviously arent going to be using them but the other things sound like bullshit
 
yeah. if your rommate is your friend you should help them out anyway you can. unless he is someone you dont really care for and hes being a mooching douche
 
And now there is more. The gloves I gave him were just cheap homedepot gloves, but now he wants to use my $100+ actual ski gloves just to throw snowballs because "He wants to know if it is worth buying a pair for snowboarding." I may be sounding like a little bitch right now, but he is pissing me off.
 
Well the printer and ink are nothing really, just another point.

And he is more of a friend that turns into a mooching douche who has to have his own way, and of course he is NEVER wrong.

And would you let some kid you don't know use your skis, especially your ski boots? Call me selfish for that but that is my shit.
 
I wouldn't lend someone a pair of my nice gloves when they don't even appreciate it in the first place.
 
Dude. DOn't put up with it man. Seriously. Youre roomate is a bitch. Tell him that straight up. Tell him to fuck off, yell at his face and you'll dominate the room. Thats what i did to my roomate. Now I wear the pants in that room
 
i hate kids that dont understand about your ski stuff its not something like a pencil, you cant just let someone borrow that shitthats the best i can expain it but if guys know what i mean lol
 
Oh yea, this is a big one. Last Thursday night (I think) he went out to a party, I stayed in because I had a test the next morning. He comes back, wakes me up around 1, begs me to leave for 20 minutes so he could fuck this chick. Of course he would have had a fit if I said no, which I did but I didn't want to hear complaining. So I left the room. I am getting knee surgery next week (tore my ACL), and when I come back, obviously I won't be moving around too much. He tells me that I am going to have to leave if he brings a girl back. Uhm, I don't think so, especially once I can get back into my lofted bed. I'll bet you can guess what he said I was being.
 
sounds like a cock sucker to me. fuck that, did let his buddy use your shit. no way in hell. take all your ski shit home so he cant use any of it anymore. tell him to buy his own shit
 
Not trying to be mean, but how about not being a bitch and be assertive? It's honestly not hard to tell him what he can and can't do with your things.

Tell him to fuck off, you're bringing your skis back because it's convenient to you. And you've not going to inconvenience yourself for some kid you don't even know.

Tell him to buy some ink or he can't use your printer anymore.

Tell him, 'no you can't use my nice new gloves.'
 
Letting his friend use your skis is a little far. If he wanted to use your skis then maybe, but a kid you dont even know is a little much to ask. It doesnt sound like you are being selfish at all, but the other stuff is kinda reasonable. I mean, if my friend wanted to use my gloves iIF i werent using them I would lend them to them.
 
ask him to pay for ink next time, or atleast for half of it. thats what my one roommate does cause she uses my printer all the time
 
The thing is, he doesn't have any, so he sometimes resorts to eating mine. I am rooming with him next year because I like him when he is not being a douche, and he is not a douche often. But when he gets into these arguments, he always has to win. He cannot loose an argument. I have yelled in his face, and he will not give in. Then right after I stop arguing, he goes into nice mode as if nothing ever happened. I told him after the argument we just had that I am not letting anyone ever use my stuff again. Of course he then says "This is exactly what I am talking about, you are the most selfish person in the world". So I let him use my gloves (not the expensive pair) and binding tool to fix his snowboard bindings because I didn't want to hear it. I thought I was done with this shit after high school. I was always the kid who was taken advantage of. I thought it would be different in college, but I guess not.
 
you seem to have lost hold of the greatest argument tool of all time, the PIMP hand. Keep that PIMP hand strong.
also confront him before it escalates, like tonight if possible
 
nahh man you're not being selfish at all, i wouldnt let someone who doesnt have their own stuff use my skis or board because if they dont have their own stuff, its prolly cuz their a scrub. i would only let my best friends use it and it doesnt sound like you like this guy very much
 
The thing is, I have started being assertive. I said exactly everything you said. Its like he doesn't understand why I won't let him use my shit. And I did let him use the cheap gloves, but he could have used the even cheaper ones. I told him that the real cheap ones were better than no gloves. But no.

This is exactly how the conversation went about the skis and ski boots:

Him: Can you leave you skis and boots here for my friend to use? He has the same size foot as you.

Me: No, I am bringing it all him because I am done for the season, so it won't be sitting here taking up space for the rest of the year, and because I don't want to bringing it home in May.

Him: Come on dude, do you know how much money you will save him so he doesn't have to rent?

Me: Doesn't he have his own shit?

Him: No.

Me: Well obviously he is a beginner and my bindings are set for me, an advanced skier and I'm not messing around with them.

Him: (goes on about me being selfish) But why?

And then everything I say after he asks why to and calls me selfish.

And another thing. My sister also goes to school at UVM (where I go). She has a car up here. He asks me if he can use it. Its not my car. He tells me to text her and ask her if she needs it and I say it doesn't matter because he isn't using it.
 
Man I keep thinking of things. And to whoever said in a recent post that it sounds like I don't like him much, I like him alot, but always has to have his way and is a hypocrite.

Since I am getting knee surgery, and live on the 4th floor, I am going to get an elevator key. I have not gotten it yet because I don't need it yet. I would rather get all the exercise I can now, like I am supposed to, and then be lazy like I have to after surgery. He asks me constantly to get the key so he can use the elevator.

Me: no, I don't need it yet and if I do get it now I'm not going to use it.

him: so, just get it and give the key to me

Me: No

Then he goes on saying "duuuuuude come on!" and shit like that.

Me: The more you bother me, the longer I am going to wait to get it (which I am).

that really pissed him off.
 
1. they are your skis so tell him to cry about it

2. tell him if he doesn't like it he can buy his own camera made for retards

3. tell him to stop being poor and buy better gloves

4. tell him no more printer unless he starts chipping in for ink.

5. if you're too nice to do any of this, tell him to buy you some beer or whatever instead as a thanks for you being cool about his doucheness
 
When he's not in the room just do the dirty always on his bed
wheres your college at?
 
wat the hell, who does he think he is. useing all your shit even with out asking you. make him buy new ink and paper for the printer if hes using it all up, or atleast pay for what he uses. what a dick
 
I don't even want to go there. I did confront him, calmly and everything, because I thought I was paying more for booze when we got it than he was, and he told me that I was rude for thinking that I was being ripped off.

And he's the kind of kid who will do shit to me if I stop him from doing something or if I take my shit from him if he is using it. He pissed in 4 vitamin water bottles so he can give them to someone when they are drunk b/c he thinks it is going to be funny (it may be) but he put that shit in my fridge. First off that is nasty. Second, he has his own fridge. I got that shit out of my fridge and put it in his, but he is the type of kid who will take it out of his fridge and pour it on me/ my bed/ my shit.
 
i probably wouldn't lend my nice gloves to anyone, unless it was a very good friend who seriously needed them. you paid for the stuff, it's yours. you dictate who uses it. not selfish
 
There are people who I would lend all this stuff too because they aren't cunts to me. If he would ask nicely and not call me selfish I would not have a problem. He says if I don't let him use my shit, then I have to ask to watch his TV. If he wants to play that way, then I'm going to tell him he can't touch my rug in the room, he can't sue my fridge (he has his own anyway), he can't throw garbage away in my trashcan, he can't use my tissues, he can't look at my posters, etc. But I'm not going to do that because that is called being a prick.

And of course I thought of another "selfish" act of mine. I thought I was going to get them all in one post but they keep coming to me.

He is on the downhill bike team at UVM. Back in the fall when he had all his races, he needed a bag to put his shit in. Of course he didn't have his own. I regretted to let him use my duffel bag, and for 5 weekends, he used it and brought it back with all his muddy, smelly as shit bike stuff and cloths in it. I had to wash the bag a couple times so it didn't smell, but it still did.
 
...and you like him why? Because 'sometimes' he's legit? He sounds like a giant tool who has a lot of growing up to do.

You really need to step up. Its clear by this thread how much it really bothers you. And I don't mean "hey we need to have a talk" - more of a "I'm gonna tell you why this is bullshit, and you're gonna shut it while I do".

You have to make a POINT. It has to sink in. Don't let him treat you like a four year old child. And if he decided to not understand (because really, it's not that hard), then why bother? Don't give him the benefit of your relationship. Let him room with someone else and realize what a good friendship he was destroying. Let him imagine what it would be like if he actually respected you.
 
You both sound like immature freshmen, which is natural, but just stop letting him use his shit, he's treating you like he can do whatever he want, which you are letting him do. Just tell him to fuck off and that he can't use any of your shit and if he doesn't listen tell him again and take your shit back. Worse comes to worse kick his ass.
 
Fuck me and my multiple posts.

His one argument is he WOULD let me use any of his stuff if I wanted. That is why he isn't selfish. I don't care what he WOULD do, it is what he IS doing. Too bad I have my own stuff and haven't had to ask him for basically anything over the year. The one thing I did use in the beginning of the season was his video camera. He was at the mountain everytime I used it. He told me if I broke it or lost it I would have to pay for it. I said ok. I didn't take it without asking, I didn't take it without him knowing. That is the only thing I can think of that I have borrowed from him.
 
holy shit, your friend sounds like a complete tool.Let him give someone the water bottle of piss, tell that person it is piss so that person kicks the shit out of him. second of all if he pours that shit in your bed, come up from behind him and kick him in the nuts. Its a Classic.
 
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