Slightly off topic, I flew business class (first class in europe) for the first time a couple weeks ago. In the first boarding group. As soon as they open in up everyone crowds around there like ass holes when not a single person can board yet. FIRST TIME EVER I just walked through all the people and boarded. People give the worst stares ever and it felt super boss. So yeah, fuck them. I also put my headphones in and passed out as soon as I hit my seat but I could feel their stares as they cruised on by.
First time I honestly considered the fact that on future flight which I know are gonna blow/be long I might go up to the desk, see if anything is open in first class and drop a few more dollars for the leg room. Sometimes worth it because the crew always tries to not even let those ass holes talk to you. Food for thought if you have some more change.
Other tips I've noted from too much Euro travel, some only pertain to Europe...
-Sometimes business class is relatively cheap but if it leaves you with a long layover at a larger airport, spring for the better tickets cause the lounge has free food, beers and chairs with outlets for computer and what not.
-People always crowd around the end of luggage where it comes out. Go to the opposite end, where it goes back in. That way you can dick around on your phone and casually look for your luggage while it makes the trip all the way around and then you don't have to knock people out of the way or ask them to move to get your luggage. View is more important than getting close.
-Always attempt to hit the pre-check/crew line for security and pretend like you have no idea what you're doing, you'll make it into that line more times than you think.
-Don't be a dick at boarder check (especially if you're US because it pisses me off and I will shit on you in public) and if you don't have shades/a hat/hood and are courteous you get through 1,000x faster. (This might be a given for NS folk, but I just see SO MANY PEOPLE get defensive/argumentative as an instinct and it never goes over well)
-If you're flying with ski gear, always take boots as a carry on, 99% of the time even if the airline are dicks (Cough, Delta, Cough) you can argue your way on with them and it saves so much weight and space with luggae
-Another tid bit on that, most euro airlines are super helpful when flying with skis and a checked bag, look into it before you get there.
-If you have a shitty seat ask at the counter if they can switch you, it's no skin off their nuts if someone from a connection doesn't have a seat yet and they can switch you before the other person even gets there.
-ALWAYS BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR LOOSE CARTS if you have a shit ton of luggae (ATL,NYC LaGuardia I think?, Newark). Nothing is worse than dropping 5 bones and seeing some dumb chick just leave hers somewhere.
-Be alert to people around you that don't have seats next to their kids when you board, 99% of the time they will give up a window or aisle to sit next to their kids... Bingo.
-Ryan Air.... if you are traveling to Europe and you don't know what it is... look into it. You get A SEAT, random, everything extra you have to pay for but I can do budget vacations with my wife and we never pay more than 500 euro for both of us, round trip, anywhere in Europe
-At baggage check in always ask for a priority tag (usually what looks like an orange concert wrist band) which they put on your bag strap. Even if it's for no reason, once you get hung up with a delay your baggage makes it to the destination before you and that avoids a ton of bullshit.
-IDK why this is a thing but for flights across oceans or continents, brush your teeth when you land no matter what and I swear you'll feel MUCH better.
-Find the perfect carry on bag, I'm all about backpacks and use a Mystery Ranch 3-Day assault. Fits perfectly under every airline seat. If it's too stuffed with clothes for a weekend trip I usually pack most of them in a bivy bag or dry sack and when I get on the plane stash that and my shell jacket in one of the overheads because they always fit but since every ass hole is cramming the luggage carryons up top you can always use the jacket as a faux blanket and the bivy as a pillow.
-Know the trains around an airport (Europe) because if you take one two or three stops away from the airport before you get a van/cab/shuttle it's always cheaper... that's fuckin' word right there.
-Lufthansa has airline food so good, I actually eat it, every time.
-You can skip the customs is more than half the airports in the world, i swear, no one says shit (unless coming into the US) and I'm talking about the customs where you claim goods and shit... NOT the border checkpoints.
-Always keep plastic bags in the carry on for liquids or the shit that needs to go in there because in places like Heathrow you need to go through security again (regardless of your point of origin) and people stop like idiots and start taking their plastic bags and opening bags and rifling through shit. That way you can just keep on rolling. Clutch in a huge shit show of an airport like that.
-Don't get too wasted on planes in the US if the dude next to you looks like an air marshall. Clean cut dudes late 20s to early 50s. I've seen this shit happened. They will boot you just watching you drink.
-Flight attendants can be ass holes, ignore it and kill them with kindness, the second you are rude to them they can make your life a living hell.
-Don't give any armrests to super fat people. I SWEAR by this because they are fat, too cheap to get two seats when they should, and they don't deserve it.
-Buy something to protect your goggles in luggage, it's never a problem until your sick gogg's finally get fucked up. If you can fit them (instead of socks) into your boots when carrying them on, more power to ya.
Feel free to add to this list, I know I'm leaving a bunch of super awesome airport shortcuts out of this but it's a way to do something constructive with this thread. People suck, people suck worse in airports. If we band together we can defeat them and make flying a better experience for all of us.
Heathrow, LaGuardia, and ATL around Christmas are the fucking devil. That is all.
