A GOOD JOKE...

J

je_te_baise

Member
lets do a joke contest in here so at least we have some fun instead of talking about who is the cuttest male in the industry, thread done by a male anyway ...GAY

so lets start the jokes here

what does have for legs and a arm..?

a pitbull in a kindergarten

mahahahha
 
why is there no mexicans at the olympics game?

All mexicans who can run fast or jump high allready ran away from the country
 
a white & a black men are taking a piss in a lake

the white men says the breeze is pretty cold

the black men answers yeah the water too
 
So a guy walks into a bar and sees a jar full of 100$ bills. he walks up to the bartender and asks what its for. The bartender says you have to put 100$ in to find out. He says ok so puts 100$ in the jar and the guy says "there is a dog outside with a bad tooth and a old lady upstairs who hasnt been sexually satisfied in years. If you pull the dogs tooth and satisfy the old lady you can have all the money." the guy says "Forget that." after a couple hours of drinking he thinks w.e i guess ill try it. so he walks outside. all of a sudden you here barking and grunting. The guy walks into the bar with scratchs all over him, his cloaths are ripped and he is a mess. he walks up to the bar and says "ok now wheres that lady with the bad tooth."
 
from a advice column......

"Dear Rick,

I know many people have found your advice to be helpful in thier relationships, so here it goes....for the past month my husband has been acting funny and different. He always goes to work late, and never talks to me much, I didnt think much of it until the other day. I was driving to work when all of a sudden my car shuddered to a screeching halt. Luckily i got a ride from a friend back to my house, and what did i find? My husband making passionate love to aanother women!! i cant believe this is happening, please help me save my marriage....

-Jessica

Dear Jessica

A car stalling unexpectedly can happen for a number of reasons. Check for debris in your fuel line, and make sure your cyclinders have full compression. If the problem persists, there could be a problem with your injectors, in which case i advise you to see a certified mechanic. Good Luck!

-Rick"
 
What is green and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

- A Golf Course.

Why did the baby fall off the swing?

- It had no arms and no legs

 
A Canadian walks into a bar in New Zealand and orders a drink. The kiwis at the bar size him up and glare at him a bit, expecting him to be another aussie backpacker. The bartender asks what he does for a living, and the canadian replies "I'm a taxidermist." "A tixidermist? what the hick is a tixidermist?" said the bartender. "I mount animals" said the canadian. "Ohhhhhh," said the bartender, "It's alright everyone, he's one of us!"
 
A guy is walking down the beach when he sees a girl with no arms and now legs crying, so he goes up to her and says "whats wrong?". and she says that she has never been hugged before. So he says "alright" and gives her a hug. but she keeps crying. So he says "whats wrong now?" and she says "ive never been kissed before", so he says "ok" and kisses her. but she keeps on crying, so he says "Now whats wrong" and she says "ive never been fucked before" so he says "ok", then picks her up and throws her into the ocean and says "Now your fucked"

 
what do a fat girl and a moped have in common?

there both fun to ride but u dont want ur friends to see u on one

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when ur wife comes in from the kitchen and starts bitching you out in the living room what have u done wrong?

made the chain to long
 
thats great^ ok mines lame but here we go

a burger and a hot dog wlak into a bar. They sit down and order a couple of beers. The bartender refuses to serve them and says, "sorry we dont serve food."

I'll think of better ones later.
 
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i get it, his right hand was being used to make friction with his wooden penis, and he jacked it off so fast it caught on fire, thats a good one. You are very creative.
 
yep yep we talking now...lol

here i go with some more lame ones...lol

a horse gets into a bar and orders a rhum

the barmaid serves him, then he goes...

what's with the long face...??

think about it and then laugh...lol

wink

 
a bear walks into a bar, the bartender goe s what can i get ya?

the bear says ill take a.....................beer.

the bartender says, why the big paws?

the bear goes, caus e im a bear!!!!!!11 one eleven poopboobs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaah im so hillarious!!!!!
 
one day litlle jonny black boys mom was making cooking cookies and he splashed flour all over his face, and says he mommy im a white boy his mom slaps him up side the head and says go tell your dad what you just said. he goes to his dad and says, hey dad im a white boy, hes dad punchs him in the gut and says go tell your grandma what you just said. jonny goes to his grandma and says hey look im a white a boy, his grandma tells him to go sit in the corner and think about what you just said. 30 minutes later jonny goes back to his grandma and says, yeah ive been a white boy for 30 minutes and i already hate all you ni**as!

 
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