Kazabazua
Active member
Mental Retardation a story by Darcy Ujjainwalla
It’s a jungle out there...
Global warming made all the safari animals come to North America... Fuck. This included; Lions, tigers, hippos and snakes. A lot of which would be on the way home from the Halloween party that was happening that night. Cars were banned after the global shock and motorbikes became the most expensive thing ever, the next best thing were shopping carts, because of their caged construction made it harder for a lion to attack. The only problem with shopping carts is it was more of a one person thing, you push it along then if a lion or tiger comes you jump in the cage, but this night I had to bring Ally home since she lived close to me and fuck that, I’m not pushing.
Anyway, it was a pretty damn good night we all partied in some abandoned barn and only one person got ripped limb from limb by a pack of tigers, great success! Time to go home, Ally... where the fuck did she go? “Anyone know where Ally went?” nope. Her mother wouldn’t be happy if she was destroyed by a hippopotamus so I must find her. A shopping cart will not do though, I’ll have to talk to chief Sanders and see if I can get a bike lent to me. Chief Sanders kind of looks like the cop from corner gas, I find out later that Chief sanders is the cop from corner gas. I picked up a 500,000 yen bike, o yea, the Chinese took over the world...with over 2 billion people, it is about fuckin time.
So I got on the bike, better check the main road first, that’s where the majority of the lions dens are, no dice. Was this the end of Ally Carr? Possibly. I ride back to the party and have a drink first, must keep hydrated, where the fuck could she be? “Oh Ally? She just went to her friend Chloe’s house.” I hate you Ally Carr.
It’s a jungle out there...
Global warming made all the safari animals come to North America... Fuck. This included; Lions, tigers, hippos and snakes. A lot of which would be on the way home from the Halloween party that was happening that night. Cars were banned after the global shock and motorbikes became the most expensive thing ever, the next best thing were shopping carts, because of their caged construction made it harder for a lion to attack. The only problem with shopping carts is it was more of a one person thing, you push it along then if a lion or tiger comes you jump in the cage, but this night I had to bring Ally home since she lived close to me and fuck that, I’m not pushing.
Anyway, it was a pretty damn good night we all partied in some abandoned barn and only one person got ripped limb from limb by a pack of tigers, great success! Time to go home, Ally... where the fuck did she go? “Anyone know where Ally went?” nope. Her mother wouldn’t be happy if she was destroyed by a hippopotamus so I must find her. A shopping cart will not do though, I’ll have to talk to chief Sanders and see if I can get a bike lent to me. Chief Sanders kind of looks like the cop from corner gas, I find out later that Chief sanders is the cop from corner gas. I picked up a 500,000 yen bike, o yea, the Chinese took over the world...with over 2 billion people, it is about fuckin time.
So I got on the bike, better check the main road first, that’s where the majority of the lions dens are, no dice. Was this the end of Ally Carr? Possibly. I ride back to the party and have a drink first, must keep hydrated, where the fuck could she be? “Oh Ally? She just went to her friend Chloe’s house.” I hate you Ally Carr.
