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Crystal-needs-a-park

Crystal-needs-a-park

Active member
ok so crystla mountain, washington has joined the queer universe and initiated a speed control program. fags in yellow jackets sit on various popular runs flapping their arms like freightened little birds. well the first thing my friends and i think of is stright run apast them... the second thing we think of is taking a shit on them while skiing by... but the logistics didnt work out... neither did the switch-piss. so we decide... pop spread eagles off the ghetto moguls and straight run the bitch past em. good times had by all... much flailing of speed control and much confusion as to actual skill level of people... say me and my friends. speed control didnt like it. but ski patrol waiting at the bottom of the run did nothing... so im like huh, ill wait for my friends... but no, while they cruised by there was muttering of roll out, but it was too late. and since im a pussy, and they were still 8 feet away or so, i didnt run... and i slowed down to begin with, so im a stupid bitch. long story short i got the asshole, they caught up to one friend and he somehow talked his way to freedom and his patroler wasnt an ass, and the other friend skied away a different way. my guy made me clip my own ticket... and since im a pussy i didnt ski away with his clippers when he turned around to the rest of the pigs in red that showed up on the scene. long story short, im stupid, fuck authority, fight the system, straight run your hill today!... but dont slow down.

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

you bettter still have my jagermeister shirt, or I'll fucking drive a train through your anus. – jibtech

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Somedays I like it crunchy, other days I take it up the ass! - Lanemeyers

Looting, it's the new way to buy stuff! - Jib_This
 
So you were tough enough to try and piss on them, yet such a pussy you clipped your own pass? he gave you a potential weapon to stab him, and you clipped your own pass with it. thats pretty sad man

'I was in Italy, and I thought I was buying a fancy condom, and when I hit the button on the machine, it sprayed calogne in my eyes' Russell

 
The day I clip my own pass is the day I die. Make the pig clip it.

better to burn out...

...then fade away
 
west, that comment is SO true...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Joel

'I heard that Richard Gere gerbils. That is, he inserts gerbils into a paper towel tube, which he then sticks up his butthole. I don't doubt this, because he asked me if i wanted to come over to his house and gerbil. I insisted that he come over to MY house, since the whole thing seemed weird. As a practical joke, i attached a bucket of water to the top of the door so that when he opened it, I beat him with a mannequin leg.'-Skydaddy
 
i know, im a tupid piece of shit, but they have radios, and it seemed it might be hard to get away from a standstill...and the fags rage was startling

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

you bettter still have my jagermeister shirt, or I'll fucking drive a train through your anus. – jibtech

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Somedays I like it crunchy, other days I take it up the ass! - Lanemeyers

Looting, it's the new way to buy stuff! - Jib_This
 
yeah... im just a total faggot

___________________

Silly Rabbits. Pink is for cheese! –stevexs2

you bettter still have my jagermeister shirt, or I'll fucking drive a train through your anus. – jibtech

numbers are for jewish investment bankers - sleezemcfly

Somedays I like it crunchy, other days I take it up the ass! - Lanemeyers

Looting, it's the new way to buy stuff! - Jib_This
 
A couple years ago, I was skiing at my local mountain. There was a decent jump at the top, but it was marked off. One run, I saw a patroller hit it. So the next run, I figured it was ok, so I hit it. Then I saw a patroller down a little ways watching. I was 14 at the time, and a little bitch, so I stopped. She made me take off my pass (season's pass) so she could clip it. I threw it over to her. She said 'take that out of the holder.' I did it, she clipped it, and then I skied away, with my middle finger in the air. Last year my friend got caught 'going too fast', slower than me actually. The patroller knew me, so didnt give me shit, but wanted my friend clip his own pass. My friend looked at him like 'are you fucking crazy?', then turned and skied away. The patroller stood there looking retarded, and we kept skiing. So yeah, that was pointless, but whatever...

Life is simple: Eat, sleep, ski.

Apparently throwing snowballs at moving vehicles is a felony and can land you in prison for a year. Who knew?
 
my mountain has this thing where you get can be a 'mountain safety volunteer' and get a free season pass. So I call them up, hoping to the pass, (and thinking it's just about skiing around and making sure people don't fall down & get hurt) and they tell me my day will be 'standing next to the slow sign making sure people don't go too fast.' I was like...um, I'll call you back... right... I think that would be a little hipocritical, and I definitely don't want to spend my day yelling at people!

 
i would do it for a free season pass.

originally posted by chris_64_impala : why do u need a fat ski? huh fatty? yeah thats right u like the chocoalte
 
i would do it for a free season pass.

originally posted by chris_64_impala : why do u need a fat ski? huh fatty? yeah thats right u like the chocoalte
 
Park City has those dudes in the yellow. it is really funny. they sit there are point their poles at you but because everybody skis so fast past them you never really konw who they are pointing at. I don't get it really. If I am good enough to straight line groomers in control then I am good enough to avoind all the beaters that have no clue of what is going on around them. and the guys in the coats never seem to yell at the racers that fly by them. consperisy???

check it.

www.offtrailproductions.com

www.ninthward.com
 
ya they have those fucks at stevens pass. last year i got 2 punches in my seasons pass and they said if i got one more they would tak eit away for the year. Its so gay i wasnt even skiing that fast but whatever. they gayest thing is that they radio'd down to their fag buddies and pulled me out of line.

new look zrs race bindings for sale, din 7-17, $250 US, send me a msg if u want um
 
I had a pass to a resort in NM and had a patroler ski behind me the whole way down telling me to stop. I looked behind me a couple of times then took off down a mogul run, if you want to lose ski patrol go down one of these. To make a long story short I skied down close to the bottom, probably within 200 ft or so then took off into the woods. Took my skis off and headed for the nearest road. I could see ski patrol at the base looking around in a group, for presumably me. I went to our condo, took my jacket off and headed back to the resort in my fleece which is another color. NO shit from the patrol the rest of the year. Not only are they stupid and most suck at skiing, they have a short term memory because I was skiing in the same clothes the next day.

 
now i've never been hassled by patrol but if they ask you for your pass why dont you just keep your pass in your pocket and say you dont have one, you hiked your way up.? What are they going to do, search you?

 
well if it's like my hill they'll prolly call the cops and prosecute you in court which is much worse than having your pass pulled.

 
haha, speed control, how would you like that job? haha, we only have a couple of slow spots on our hill, but most of the patrollers are pretty cool about it. they dont bother you too much if they know you are in control. which is a good thing about smaller hills, most the patrollers know the regulars. the most trouble they give is is doin stupid things in the air. HA

-The DR.-

Live for something, or you'll die for nothing.

The Lab
 
oh yeah, so we basically fly down our hill.

-The DR.-

Live for something, or you'll die for nothing.

The Lab
 
yeah so at my hill last yr you would have to cut through the trees to hit the top hit and climb up a bit. So one day the mtn decides to put a rope so u cant go through the woods so we do this for like a couple of weeks np. Then one day a fucking ski po po see us cut through the trees we hit the jump i dont c him but when i stop to wait to hit the rail he says come here im like wtf did i do hes like u cut under the rope i said well we use to be able to do this and he says well not anymore takes our pass 4 the day and we couldent get it back for like 2hrs. So gay every ski po po @ my hill are fucking power hungry dooch bags.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

'i was walking along and their like you gotta hit it' -Crystal-Needs-A-Park

Are some skiers trying to copy snowboarding?

Tanner: There\'s a small group of people that are doing that, but I think for the most part, there are a bunch of Rollerbladers and skiboarders that are being gay.

HOLLA! ANCIENT REPRESENT!! ANCIENT INC
 
They always yell at me and tell me to stop but i just ski away and there to lazy to stop me let alone catch me then just go in and change your clthoes and they wont recognize you

 
ski patrol tried to shut down a jump my friend and I built one time and the dude was standing really close to the jump and it was snowing really hard out and he obviously didn't see my friend straight lining it to the jump...the patroller almost got his head cut off. me and my friend skied away as fast as we could while the patroller wondered what just happened

'I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman,' -a certain California governor

www.wolfcreekski.com
 
the secret is to start snowplowing in an out of control way and fall down to stop, that way you can claim that you lost control and cant ski very well yet. works every time and its good for some laughs because they cant argue with you.

 
at waterville in the kiddie park, there were all these faggot 15 year old snowboarders acting tough, and talking shit before straight-airing the 2 foot table in front. so i had to straightline pretty fast past them to have enough speed to even jump onto a rail, and i accidently knocked one of the little bitches over and the ski patrol guy next to him called me an ass-monkey. just thought i'd share that

'you should probably get bindings or it will be hard to stay on your skis...don't get gloves tho, gloves are out. just use a cigarette to keep your hands warm' -221
 
i dont think i have ever seen any speed control people here in colorado, we have signs that say 'slow' but we never have people who come after you. i guess it happens again, colorado is just plain better. hehe, just kidding guys.

originally posted by chris_64_impala : why do u need a fat ski? huh fatty? yeah thats right u like the chocoalte
 
ya at my hill if its a heavy day with lots of skiers and snowboarders they'll have patrollers and other workers on the lookout for fast and out of control skiers/boarders and they do hand out warnings and clip passes. other then that u can go as fast as u want everwhere as long as u don't suck balls.

Phree Stylez
 
they had those guys at waterville once last year, they don't really care, they stand there and get paid

they get pissed when we ski 5 ft across the woods to get to our early season park though, like mad pissed, it's funny

=J. KIESEL=

Poniverus
 
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