4th of July Stories

J

Jaskittin

Active member
As we all know, the 4th is the universal day for stoners and alcoholics alike to share one common interest: Get fucked up and watch cool fireworks. I'll tell my story, and then lets hear other peoples.

Mine really isn't that special, but it was fun. around 10:30, I was just getting off of work, and was pissed that I was probably the only sober 16 year old in a 20 mile radius. So I meet up with my friends, and smoke couple bowls right off the bat, and then down some cheap vodka. So right now, we are feeling really fucked up. From then until 2;30 am, i don't know what we did, but we did something to pass the time. At 2;30, we give in to our munchies and head to perkins. Once we get there, we are exstatic to see 2 sherrifs cars, and 4 deputies eating about 20 feet away, and a mexican gang at the table next to us. As we walk to our table, the cops just sit and stare, probably taking notice that we all had extremely red eyes, and the mexicans just sit and sneer, trying to start shit, at least it seemed like it. They were skinny little kids, but for the sake of keeping my inards from being outards, I kept my mouth shut. The waitress comes and we all pretty thouroghly make idiots of ourselves when she asks what type of bread we want and got the reply of "the regular stuff." She just kind of shook her head and walked away. That about sums up the night, except for the awekward walk out past the cops, and my friend going ballistic when I took a piss in his shower. All in all, it was a pretty fun night.

I hate it because it looks like it should be called the Prison Shower.

-jibbajabba2

maybe atlantaski wants michael innocent cuz he was molested by him 4 years ago when his dad sent him to neverland ranch for a day and now he wants michael free so he can penetrate one more time-Lateralis

 
I;ve never been fucked up once in my life, except for that time my brother threw a yellow pages phone book at my face.

I live in a place far far away, where on occasion the telly tubbies will come to play....and that's when Ma gets out the shotgun. Damn critters climb in our gutter system all the time.
 
Yeah, I thought I'd just lead by example. Its really not an interesting or cool story, just how my 4th went.

I hate it because it looks like it should be called the Prison Shower.

-jibbajabba2

maybe atlantaski wants michael innocent cuz he was molested by him 4 years ago when his dad sent him to neverland ranch for a day and now he wants michael free so he can penetrate one more time-Lateralis

 
^sounded kinda shitty, o well, i just watch tv and went to bed at 1, then got up at 5

what's up now bitch

"the fatter you are the smaller you go"-unknown

ACLs suck
 
well on my 4th all of my friends and i decided to jump off bridges, i was the huiman guniea pig and was the first to jump and i didnt know it was shallow so i hit the bottom which was filled with rocks and pretty much thoughti broke my back

bitching
 
I went to our little cabin up on this small lake, and people there always go apeshit with the fireworks, so i spent the day from like 3;30 till dark setting fireworks up, chillin in the sun, and lighting off tennis ball bombs. This guy aciidentally blew up our dock, like 4 boards flew off with 1 tennis ball bomb. It was pretty nuts. Then when we finished our show i headed back down to my town, and met up with some friends and an ex-girlfriend who really wanted to hang out. We went to this girls house on the lake, and had a beach fire, and i found some kayaks and i decided it would be fun to take my ex out, so we went, and it tipped...She was pretty mad, but it ended in alot of skinny dipping, and she has a SMOKING body, so it worked out. I finally took her home, and went to sleep around 4. Pretty fun night, and i think i was about 1 of 4 sober people out of like 12, so i kept messing with the drunk kids, and the kids who fake drunk. (somebody invited some younger guy, who always does this gay shit) he would volunteer to do soemthing stupid, like walk across the fire, so i pushed him towards it, and h was like no way man, and just completley sobered up when he realized i was gonna throw him in. Fake ass maw clukkas

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-Jordan-

whenever I tell any of them that their too fat they laugh and say good one. I insist that it was not a joke but they dont beleive me. its pretty gross- t-man152
 
so real high and real drunk, you drove to Perkins? dumbass.

open up, we're coming inside. What's it feel like to know you're gonna die?
 
mine was fun... but not terribly exciting. I had a barbecue at my house with like 6 or 7 friends, and then at like 10 this really cool girl that i know told us to come watch their awesome fireworks show. so, me and two of the friends that were still over decided to go hit that up. we roll up, and we see this guy standing next to like 10-15 mortar tubes with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other loading fist fulls of mortars into the tubes and lighting them off with a road flare. that was probably one of the gnarliest things i have seen, because the guy didnt even back away when they shot off, he was like 2 feet from like 6 tubes firing at once. and then one mortar happend to fall out of the tube with the fuse lit. so he tried stomping it out, but it ended up just blowing up on the ground. that was nuts. then we did the same thing with rapid fire mortars for like 2 hours, and apparently they had been doing the same thing for hours before we showed up. right before we went inside there was another dud. this one mortar went about 15 feet up and exploded and sent a shower of sparks on everyone. then we went inside and sat around after the fireworks were gone. it was really fun, but not terribly eventful.

'If she floats than she is not

A witch like we had thought'

'Like most babies smell like butter

his smell smelled like no other'

'She'll come back as fire, to burn all the liars,

And leave a blanket of ash on the ground.
 
^oh cigarettes dude?!? HOW COOL!!!....

what's up now bitch

"the fatter you are the smaller you go"-unknown

ACLs suck
 
last night a bottle rocket hit some dead trees and started to burn and it almost caught a nearby building on fire until my friend got a hose and put it out.

theres no business like snow business.

 
uhhh slept all day woke up then drove with my family to like big rapids or some shit and i was mad cuz i was out in hickville w/o friends so i put on the tunes on my ipod went to see like 5 min long fireworks went home and went to bed

__________________

put on whatever makes you attractive

if it's not you then do it for the sake of fashion

your friends like a certain you

that's who you've got to be
 
jumped on my trampoline all day and then went to watch the fireworks downtown where all the white trash collects. it was all kinds of fucked up

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pshh whatev yo

 
i went to canada...

Jeepers Creepers, where'd you get the neat sneakers?!?!

hehehe giggle giggle giggle

 
I worked

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if your floating down a fiver in a cement canoe, and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house?

NONE! ice cream doesnt have bones.....

 
My 4th started out at a friends house where we ate some corn dogs and other good food. We then proceeded to another friends house to start drinking and smoked a mango blunt. We drank for a couple hours and after everyone was about buzzing we walked downtown to the fireworks. After a lame show we walked back. This is when the night got way sweeter.

So my friends girl decides to go with someone else down the street to talk to her soccer coach. On the way she gets stopped by a cop and they both got MIPs and one of them directed the cop back to our house where we were partying. So two cops showed up, and must have called for backup, because pretty soon 4 cop cars, and two motorcycles were surrounding the place. We held up inside for about 2-3 hours before some of us came out, and then 30 min later they went in with a warrent. Overall, only one person got away by hiding in the closet and everyone else got MIPs, which means the host is in jail, and two other people are going to jail due to probation.

 
Why would anybody make so much trouble that they could end up in jail? How does that make a good night?

open up, we're coming inside. What's it feel like to know you're gonna die?
 
I know it's because you think you won't get caught, but why even do something that COULD have that consequence?

open up, we're coming inside. What's it feel like to know you're gonna die?
 
my forth of july to sum it up...i was inside and thought it was 12 ocklock, somehow i managed to look over all of the people and see that it was begining to get light outside

better to wrap yourself in the constitution and burn the flag, than wrap yourself in the flag and burn the constitution

witness/activist in the great spamming of
 
mine was a lot of fun. we went up to wyoming and got all the goods since colorado is gay and makes them all illegal. then we had our drunken fun. we launched bottle rockets out of our ass and my friend launched an artillary shell out of his crotch, which was amazing i might add. we lit an entire cardcoard box filled with gun powder and every random firework we had. then we went streaking. oh and i almost had my ear blown off by a black cat that was thought to be dead. we were wrong. and that was my forth.

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'I met her last night in Vail... Kobe style.'
 
Biggest rodeo in Oregon. The St. Paul rodeo. I have to admit, I'm no cowboy, but the combonation of Coors Light and bull riding isn't too bad.

Fireworks were descent. Good food, good people, less expensive beer.

Apparently my friend Michael (a wrestler at Oregon State University) and my other friend Ryan (doing nothing with his life) were wrestling behind us. I was knocked into a camping trailer. Needless to say I was went to scratch my head this morning and realized I'd hit my head a little harder than I'd though.

Never spilled my beer though...I guess being from Yamhill, Oregon pays off every now and then.

Newschoolers.com: Who have YOU hated on today?
 
actually this one time I got a morter canon and lit it, but it tipped over and shot my dog.

I live in a place far far away, where on occasion the telly tubbies will come to play....and that's when Ma gets out the shotgun. Damn critters climb in our gutter system all the time.
 
on july 3rd i went to a stadium and the fireworks came flying into the crowd and people got really burnt and had to be taken away in ambulences.

on july 4th i had fireworks at my house. i live in Rhode island where theyre illegal. a cop came and my dad got in really deep shit from the cop. he was mouthing off and shit too. which got him in worse shit.

"Over time, most people experience life involving love, suffering, passion, and an unspeakable drive for something new . . . for me there's skiing, nothing more nothing less and it encompasses everything, every day I'm out there." ~Pep Fujas

 
hmmm my 4th was just like any normal 4th. i went to a crazy fuxking rave party ontop of a mtn got shitfaced and did stuiped shit then passed out.

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If carrots got you drunk.....rabbits would be fucked up!

Fucking Hot Dog!

NS SKATEBOARDERS

 
some friends of mine were driving down a highway, and they were throwing mortors out the window at about 60 mph. well one went out the window and then back into the car through the back window. the thing lands on my friends crotch, and burns the shit out of his pant and then falls onto the floor and then the kid next to him bails out of the car (now there down to about 25) and now he has a shit load of road rash. they finally got the thing out of the car before it blew up. imagine if that thing blew up in the car haha

 
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