100 Greatest Quotes from fundamentalist christian chat rooms
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![[tightpants]](/data/avatars/m/38/38450.jpg?1745610433){kind=avatar}
[tightpants]
Active member
Wow. Just... wow.
doublexl
Active member
Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for
awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he
seemed depressed and withdrawn.
Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I
would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that
God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not
resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he
would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his
orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started
crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt
understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room
and slamming the door.
What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I
already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the
ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to
repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him
and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs).
I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the
homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how
homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip'
and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to
worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to
sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out
of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.
Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son
oh....my....god...
awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he
seemed depressed and withdrawn.
Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I
would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that
God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not
resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he
would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his
orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started
crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt
understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room
and slamming the door.
What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I
already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the
ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to
repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him
and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs).
I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the
homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how
homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip'
and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to
worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to
sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out
of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.
Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son
oh....my....god...
doublexl
Active member
[about a girl being born with mental disabilities]
This girl is like a leper so what she needs to do is try and find god
if she really believes she can be healed from this state, she will be healed from this state
Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb.
If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her
as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she'll always be like
this
god tests every one of us [emphasis added]
this is just too much...
mmallender.
Active member
Are these people ACTUALLY this stupid? I honestly don't understand how someone could be that ignorant.....
"Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make
it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But
have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It
dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So
much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!"
Are you for real?
"Everyone knows scientists insist on using complex terminology to make
it harder for True Christians to refute their claims.
Deoxyribonucleic Acid, for example... sounds impressive, right? But
have you ever seen what happens if you put something in acid? It
dissolves! If we had all this acid in our cells, we'd all dissolve! So
much for the Theory of Evolution, Check MATE!"
Are you for real?
Schoellkopf
Active member
I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she
left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16
and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that
he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I
want my son to stop being so secretive!
hahahaahahahahahahahaha.....holy shit, that's funny
left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16
and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that
he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I
want my son to stop being so secretive!
hahahaahahahahahahahaha.....holy shit, that's funny
[tightpants]
Active member
Yea that one made me laugh for like 5 minutes
james44
Active member
Athiests as a Majority
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods.
They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is
nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of
athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be
tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we
athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it?
SHastatahoe
Active member
lol.
hahahahhahhah, all you religious people are PSYCHO
Athiests as a Majority
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods.
They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is
nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of
athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be
tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we
athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it?
The Prince of Pain,
GameTalk
[Comments (341)]
[2007-Jan-01]
Submitted by Savrin
Athiests as a Majority
This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!
The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.
ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!
Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.
ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!
The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods.
They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is
nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of
athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.
RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be
tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we
athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!
THE END
Scary, isn't it?
The Prince of Pain,
GameTalk
[Comments (341)]
[2007-Jan-01]
Submitted by Savrin
Mr_Bojangles
Active member
NSG rarely induces this, but I'm actually speechless.
zesty_buddy
Member
You got it backwards.
Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.
Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.
i mean like wtf?!
Creationism is based upon science, reason and tons of evidence.
Evolution is based on the blind acceptance of superstitions and fairy tales.
i mean like wtf?!
comeatmebro
Active member
wow. this site cannot be real, that shit is unbelievable.
bangarangmules
Active member
ahahaha this site is really scary
hart62
Member
"Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then
mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in
space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just
the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to
believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a
planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough
to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here
is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and
thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth,
where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more
sin, the heavier something is."
My personal favorite. Apparently, this so-called "gravity" is just another made up theory that scientists are using to hoodwink us.
mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in
space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just
the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to
believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a
planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough
to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here
is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and
thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth,
where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more
sin, the heavier something is."
My personal favorite. Apparently, this so-called "gravity" is just another made up theory that scientists are using to hoodwink us.
freestyler540
Active member
lushlaxstr
Active member
hahahaha i hate people
'There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without
studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't
know that much about it does not bother me in the least.'
Oh good lord...
studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't
know that much about it does not bother me in the least.'
Oh good lord...
Alexander_Keith
Active member
This is why I laugh when people call the Muslims the fundamentalists...
We got em too!!
We got em too!!
VT_FLO
Active member
"Yes, that is a great company. I bought one of their large print version (old eyes... what can I say?).
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English. "
Yeah, because english was around in bible days... NOT
The only thing I don't like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don't think that's right. We know the only true translation is the 1600's version in English.
It's too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in... and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English. "
Yeah, because english was around in bible days... NOT
user098123
Active member
"A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire.
[Yes. It should (be legal). Otherwise you're screwing over the women who don't deserve their fate.]
Are you calling them victims now? Should've stayed in the house where it's safe."
wow.....
and then this one,
"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."
[Yes. It should (be legal). Otherwise you're screwing over the women who don't deserve their fate.]
Are you calling them victims now? Should've stayed in the house where it's safe."
wow.....
and then this one,
"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history."
PASKIINGSUCKS
Active member
"When two guy's have sex they can only penetrate eachother through the crack which I think is disgusting because of all the crap that's in there. They both must face the same direction and thus one guy's twig and berries will be projecting from the two. Because no man has a vagina they can't become one flesh when having normal sex.
Women don't have Jimmy and his two buddies hanging around so they can't naturally penetrate eachother and become one flesh.
Oral with dudes can't be natural because the legs will be poking out from different directions as will the ladies if they participate in oral sex.
Oral with the opposite sex still isn't natural because you still have the leg issue and often someone is further down if they are not on top of eachother.
Anal with opposites is still excluded from natural sex because once again your are sticking your think in a crap hole and a womans tits are usually projecting outward.
When the Bible is speaking of becoming one flesh it literally means that there is nothing sticking out in the clear and that the man and woman are facing eachother. Face to Face."
Apparently you can tell how moral your sex is by how many appendages are hanging out in the open, oh and you have to bone face to face I guess.
Women don't have Jimmy and his two buddies hanging around so they can't naturally penetrate eachother and become one flesh.
Oral with dudes can't be natural because the legs will be poking out from different directions as will the ladies if they participate in oral sex.
Oral with the opposite sex still isn't natural because you still have the leg issue and often someone is further down if they are not on top of eachother.
Anal with opposites is still excluded from natural sex because once again your are sticking your think in a crap hole and a womans tits are usually projecting outward.
When the Bible is speaking of becoming one flesh it literally means that there is nothing sticking out in the clear and that the man and woman are facing eachother. Face to Face."
Apparently you can tell how moral your sex is by how many appendages are hanging out in the open, oh and you have to bone face to face I guess.
freestyler540
Active member
[Talking about an eleven year old girl who was raped and then buried alive]
"god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us. "
"several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years."
Wow, just...im speechless
"god was sacrificing this child as a way to show others the light. much as he did his own child. what a beautiful gift he has given us. "
"several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years."
Wow, just...im speechless
bigdaddytmac
Active member
Ahaha thats a fuckin good one.
ISkiSwitch
Active member
That's my favorite. lmao
If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it
contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If
it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity
is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.
uscchica09,
BibleForums.org
[Comments (40)
contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If
it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity
is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.
uscchica09,
BibleForums.org
[Comments (40)
Pipe_Munky
Active member
actually i know several people that "found god" and they're pretty down to earth people that have liberal views as well.
i agree that some are real closed minded idiots but to say something like that makes you just as bad. imo, closed minded, intolerant people are the worst breed of human on the face of the planet
i agree that some are real closed minded idiots but to say something like that makes you just as bad. imo, closed minded, intolerant people are the worst breed of human on the face of the planet
wilkesyachtingco
Active member
hmmmmm adolph? is that you in there? way to be a bigot.
salamander
Member
half of these have got to be jokes
mellifluous
Active member
just stick to skiing, ok...
mellifluous
Active member
word
wilkesyachtingco
Active member
aaaaaaand welcome to the idiot wagon.
al_britskiier
Member
"how come we cant speak monkey"
haha gooolldd
haha gooolldd
pmills
Active member
The thing is, if you truly are a Christian, and hold the beliefs of your religion, (i.e. read the bible literally) than you shouldn't find this stuff absurd.
** controversy alert**
If you don't agree with what these people are saying, and you still call your self a Christian, then you are a product of secular knowledge and scriptural ignorance. Religious moderates betray faith and logic equally.
(influenced by sam harris "end of faith" -- if you've read the bible, you should read this book too, and probably some dawkins, just to be a critical thinker)
** controversy alert**
If you don't agree with what these people are saying, and you still call your self a Christian, then you are a product of secular knowledge and scriptural ignorance. Religious moderates betray faith and logic equally.
(influenced by sam harris "end of faith" -- if you've read the bible, you should read this book too, and probably some dawkins, just to be a critical thinker)
wilkesyachtingco
Active member
so... let me get this straight.... you cant be a christian and believe in gravity? okay... you cant be a christian and not hold that athiests are out to kill you?
please do help me understand how that works, since i never did see the principle of gravity addressed in scripture.
please do help me understand how that works, since i never did see the principle of gravity addressed in scripture.