You wake up in bed with the user above you...

Take my weiner out of his bottom. and run to the bathroom. clog toilet, and unsuccessfully unplug it, spilling poo all over the floor. in tears, i run out of the bathroom and put on my cloak. i run outside and find myself being laughed at by everybody. i look down, realizing that i am not wearing pants. Its too late. i can feel it. i fall to the floor uncontrollably shitting on my +5 protection cloak. The spahgetti is falling out of my pockets and on to the pavement. i close my eyes and try to bear the pain, but it is to no avail. i die on a city sidewalk covered in feces and spaghetti.
 
catch his fist with my mouth and chomp into his knuckle. as he screams in agony I grab my prison shank and "put a smile on that face"
 
take him to the zoo

then kill him and use his body for autoerotic asphyxiation while I masturbate in the reptile house with the gila monsters
 
rip my bleeding hand from his mouth and once again dodge his poor attempt at stabbing me. pick up the bedsheets and throw them over him before grabbing the lamp from the nightstand and taking his legs out from under him with it
 
Fuck you then sell you in the black market for slaves after removing your younger so you could never describe how awesome it was
 
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Bitch about my shitty car and shittier job, run to the bathroom. Have a quick fap. Run out the door naked with hard-boiled eggs stuck to my nipples
 
worth it.

but seriously, i'd wake up and wonder how the fuck i ended up in bed with you and later i would claim it on NS.
 
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