Yo Fuck swimming.

I learned to swim at a very young age./claim

Seriously though, just move your hands horizontally across the water back and forth with your fingers closed and palms open. Also kick your feet back and forth within like a 20 degree pivot.

Take it from there!
 
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Man don't worry about it. Water does strange things to all men. The trick is don't show people it for a little while after.
 
Every swimming test I've ever had to do, I've passed without using my arms or legs. I remember in highschool we had to tread water for 5 minutes to go on some camping trip for outdoor ed., like 25% of people failed. I just took deep breathes and floated at the top and relaxed.
 
i can swim like a god damn fish. i could swim before I could walk. i waterski 6-7 days a week from april -October, and do a lot of scuba diving. been skiing my whole life and diving for 18 years. for one of my scuba certifications i had to tread water for a certain length of time with my hands above my head. holy shit that is tiring. i'm positively buoyant though, so with a deep breath a float pretty well.
 
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